Press Hard 3 Copies

I saw it first!

2010-10-23T20:55:00.000-07:00

One of our local motors who resides in South City is a CHP motor. We'll bump into each other on car stops, at traffic court and just motoring around.

My partner, Juan Jalisco and I were parked at the top of an interstate offramp in South City. We'll usually catch red light runners, seatbelt, cellphone violations and anything else that we happen to see that is a violation of the California Vehicle Code.

I remember one day as I was pulling up and parking behind my duck blind, I noticed the aforementioned CHP motor, El Guapo stopped on the offramp giving some unlucky motorist a ticket. So you'd think that with a CHP motor cop on the offramp giving someone a ticket you'd see no violations being committed at this particular spot right? Wrong.

Juan Jalisco sees a car blatantly run a red light and off he zooms to meet and greet the driver. I'm parked there for several minutes before I see someone chatting away on their cell phone. I fire up the V-twin and I'm off. I no sooner catch up to the vehicle when I see El Guapo riding his BMW (which happens to sound like a run away sewing machine) pull up along side me.

I'm wondering to myself what the heck is going on. He yells over to me over the roar of my Harley, "Cell phone!?" I holler back "Yeah!". Then he yells back, "I saw it first!" My first thought, "Are you kidding me right now!" They didn't teach us about the proper motor etiquette for this situation when I went through motor school.

Then I got this funny visual about when I was a little kid (not that I'm that much more mature now) and having a tiff with my younger brother about fighting over some toy. You know, both of our hands on the toy pulling back and forth screaming "Mine!", "No, mine!".

So I holler at El Guapo, "It's yours!". I fall back behind him as I see the rear emergency lights on his BMW light up and he makes the traffic stop. I pulled up behind his motor and walked up to his bike where he was standing. He tells me, "Hey if you want it you can have it." I told him that he saw it first. El Guapo asks me, "Are you sure?" I replied, "Yeah, you saw her on the interstate offramp so you write her for that location. I saw her commit the same violation on a South City street so I'll write her for the same violation at the location I saw her at."

The look on his face was priceless. He caught on that I was joking as I motored off for another flock of ducks that were due in.

Bait and switch

2010-09-22T00:01:00.000-07:00

Wyatt and I have been working together for pretty much the last 11 years together. Once as patrol officers working the graveyard shift and since then as motor partners.

Every once and a while when I'd make a car stop, Wyatt would show up. Now, Wyatt and I sport those "so 80's" mustaches. Yeah, I know. It's a generational thing. Well Wyatt is about 6 inches taller than me and out weighs me by about 30 to 40 pounds. And if that wasn't obvious enough, my mustache is black and his is red.

So when I'd decide to give the driver a warning and Wyatt was around, I'd hand the driver's license, registration and insurance card to him. Wyatt would walk up to the driver's door, hand the driver his license and other paperwork and give them a warning.

And likewise, if Wyatt made a car stop, we'd reverse the roles when I'd walk up to the driver door to give them a warning. Most of the time the drivers would do a double take and have somewhat of a perplexed look on their faces.

The look on the drivers faces was a priceless Kodak moment.

Just Down, not out.

2010-07-12T20:33:00.000-07:00

It's been a while. My apologies for not posting as of late. Seems that my almost fifty-ish body has overridden my 21 year old mind. I tell you it really sucks getting older. As one of my buddies was so kind to tell me, "Hey 2WT, you're not 45 anymore." Thanks for the reminder.

I've moved up from crutches, to cane, to limp, back to my swagger, and I'm ready to get back into the saddle. You'd think that with the many years I've been doing enforcement riding that any injuries would have been from some riding mishap and not tearing or ripping muscles.

Desk duty sucks, nothing could make it better, even if they'd mounted handlebars and allowed me to wear my helmet while seated there in front of a computer terminal....

So to the motorists in my jurisdiction, I'll be out very very soon with a renewed zeal and appreciation for being back on two wheels.

New blog of note

2010-06-08T19:05:00.000-07:00

For those of us who enjoy reading the experiences / exploits of others, here is a blog to check out; http://tooldtowork.blogspot.com

Remember

2010-05-31T00:01:00.000-07:00

A couple of months ago I was at the shooting range. I had my police motor parked near a table where we load our magazines and clean our weapons. Down range you could see the targets of human silhouettes hanging. While there I heard someone say loudly, "Who's motorcycle is this?" There were three of our motors parked at the range and turning around I noticed a group of about 15 to 20 men dressed in black BDU's standing at the rear of my police motor.

I answered that it was my motor parked there. One out of the group asked me about the blue star flag which I have on the back of my motor. I told him I have a son who is currently serving in the armed forces. This person who appeared to be the spokesperson for this group said, "Tell him thank you from us for his service." I told him I would make sure that he knew.

About a week ago I was running errands with my youngest son who is in the second grade. The errands took a little longer than I had planned. My son being hungry chose to eat at a nearby restaurant. While we were seated I noticed that something had his attention. Looking to my left, I saw that my son was staring at two uniformed soldiers who had walked in.

My son asked me why they were here. I guess to him it seemed a little different to actually see a couple of soldiers in a restaurant to eat lunch.

After we had finished our lunch, we approached the soldiers table. I excused our intrusion as I extended my hand to thank them both for their service. I got a firm hand shake, a slight look of surprise and a polite "You're welcome." My son shook both of their hands and said, "Thanks for protecting me."

I think he understands to the best of his limited life's experience why and how they protect our way of life.

So today while we are celebrating this extra day off, having family and friends over for a barbeque, please take a small moment of time out of your day to remember those who are serving in distant countries and are without their families. Remember those families who's lives have been forever changed due to the loss of their loved one(s) who have made the ultimate sacrifice in the protection of our way of life.

"Courage is resistance to fear, mastering of fear - not absence of fear." Mark Twain

Hansel and Gretel

2010-05-25T07:14:00.000-07:00

I'm sure almost everyone is familiar with this fairy tale and how they used a trail of breadcrumbs to mark their way with the intention of using the same said trail to find their way back.

This story came to mind during a cold hit and run traffic collision one cool clear morning. My partner, Jolly was dispatched to this traffic collision just after I had been dispatched to a totally separate traffic collision. Turns out my two driver's had decided to exchange their information with each other and actually were kind enough to contact our dispatch center to cancel my response.

I decided to head over to Jolly's hit and run. The victim vehicle had been legally parked on the street in front of their home. The left front end and driver side had been smashed by another vehicle which drove onto the opposing lane of traffic.

I pointed out to Jolly through the scuff marks left from the suspect vehicle's tires that it had veered sharply to the right, gone up over the raised concrete curb, across the front lawn of a home and came to a stop within about 12 inches of going into the living room.

While Jolly spoke with the owner of the smashed car, I noticed a distinctive tire mark left from the suspect vehicle. I looked down the roadway and could distinctly see the direction the suspect driver had fled. I told Jolly that I was going to follow the tire marks and see if they led anywhere.

The tire mark was actually two marks, a wide one of about 3 to 4 inches with a skinnier one about 6 inches away and it was about an inch wide. After about a half mile the tire marks pretty much became to light to see. They were last pointed in the direction of one of our major north - south roadways.

I noticed how the tire mark was still visible across the white painted crosswalk lines and were as distinctive as the one on the roadway surface before becoming too light to see.

I was able to see and follow this distinctive tire mark across every white painted crosswalk line as it lead me south along a frontage road. After about 3 miles of following this tire mark it led me to a shopping center. The tire mark became very visible on the black asphalt parking lot. I followed it to where the tire mark appeared to have stopped and parked 90 degrees to the marked parking stalls.

This was the spot where whomever had ripped off the plastic front bumper to their car and left it. I continued to follow this tire mark which pretty much did a 180 and saw it was parked (properly) in a marked parking stall and behind a hedge high enough to shield it from view.

So a quick records check of the license plate showed the owner lived in the adjacent county and city to the south. Jolly met me at the location of the suspect car where we rode down to the owners home and contacted them, bleary eyed and still intoxicated.

Needless to say, she was the registered owner of the car. She was able to produce the car keys and admitted to drinking, driving and "believed" she may have bumped into a parked car. She failed miserably doing a set of field sobriety tests and was subsequently arrested for DUI pursuant to Calif. Vehicle Code section 40300.5.

Not quoting the entire section, the driver met the requirements of this section and through the totality of the circumstances and certain articulate able facts she was lawfully arrested for DUI 6 to 7 hours after "bumping" into the parked car. Her BAC (blood alcohol level) was STILL well over the .08%.

But I wasn't driving!

2010-05-20T20:08:00.000-07:00

There I was, parked in the shade and minding my own business, people watching. I see Joe Citizen roll to a stop in the left turn lane talking on his cellular phone. Joe looked over at me and continued talking on his cell phone. I'm thinking to myself either Joe is a complete idiot or from out of state and unaware of California's cell phone law.

Joe's light cycles to a green arrow and he makes a legal u-turn and begins to drive off in the opposite direction. I decide to conduct a "stop and talk" with Joe.

2WT: Hi, good afternoon. May I get your driver's license, vehicle registration and insurance card.

Joe: What for?

Here's a clue people. Motor cops don't just arbitrarily pull people over for no reason contrary to what you may have heard or believe. If you're pulled over and asked to produce the aforementioned documents by a police officer in the performance of his or her duties, don't begin the contact with any such or similar question.

Don't believe whom ever said that there is no such thing as a stupid question.... because there are such things and "What for" is one of them.

I just looked at Joe through my sunglasses and he needed no further prompting as he begrudgingly handed me his driver's license which just happened to be from this golden bankrupt state of California.

I told him I had stopped him for not using a hands free device for his cell phone.

Joe: "But I wasn't driving, I was stopped." Then followed his attempt to hurt my feelings by saying I had nothing better to do, and why wasn't I out there catching "real" criminals.

I told Joe that I had seen him roll to a stop as he conversed away. Joe was adamant about not driving and therefore no violation had occurred. I again told Joe my observations which he disagreed with and said he'd see me in court.

My original intention was to "catch and release", which was to stop Joe, explain the cell phone law to him, and send him on his merry way being more aware of at least one of the state's myriad of vehicle code laws.

Typically if I am going to write a ticket to someone, I'll usually give them a warning on some other violation which commonly is no current registration paperwork or no insurance card.

Joe had basically talked himself into a ticket which I was more than happy to oblige. I can write tickets fast or really, r e a l l y s l o w. Needless to say, Joe had a very, v e r y legible ticket.

In Joe's haste, he forgot to hand me his vehicle registration and insurance card and him being an adult, I didn't ask him twice for them. I just added them onto Joe's ticket as additional violations.

Do I ticket every driver I stop, no. My attitude or niceness is in direct relation to that of the driver. Nice driver, nice motor cop and possible warning. Asshole driver, asshole motor cop with your personalized invitation to the local traffic court presented to you with a smile by yours truly.

Education or education through enforcement, Joe opted for the latter.

We do give breaks / warnings, but attitude is everything.

Life's Lottery Winner

2010-05-03T08:21:00.000-07:00

Besides stopping motorists for vehicle code violations, us motor types (at least in my department) handle all of the crashes, provided we are on duty. All crashes means, private property fender benders to fatalities.

I just happened to get dispatched to a report of a solo vehicle into a light pole. There were no further details as to injuries or if the vehicle and pole were blocking the roadway. As a precaution I requested through our dispatch center to have an ambulance started... just in case. Due to the lack of details, I responded with lights and siren and arrived in just a few minutes.

It had recently rained and this roadway is notorious for drivers going too fast on a slippery surface. Usually its a solo vehicle spin-out where the vehicle usually comes to rest against one of the curbs.... but not this time.

I get to the collision scene first and notice a small pickup truck had slid driver door first into a light pole. It was obvious that the light pole had won because it was still standing. The intrusion into the passenger compartment at the driver door was a good 18 inches.

It has been my experience that more times than not, this type of collision usually results in some type of injury requiring the driver to get an ambulance ride to the hospital and in some cases leaving the body in the vehicle as we investigate another fatality and call the coroner after we've wrapped up our investigation and forensic mapping of the scene (which can take hours depending on the complexity of the dynamics of the crash).

I was amazed to see the teenage driver standing, walking and talking with no injuries. I directed him to have a seat on the curb. He had a noticeable knot on the left side of his head as well as lots of broken safety glass from his door window. I let him know that I had an ambulance coming to check him out.

He asked me if the ambulance was necessary because he didn't have any health insurance. I told him due to the knot on the side of his head and the dynamics of the collision I wouldn't be canceling it.

He told me he had been visiting his sister at a coffee shop and was running late getting back to work. Of course he said he was going the posted speed limit of 30 mph when his truck "for no reason" began to slide out of control.

His mom and brother-in-law showed up at the scene. I let mom know that an ambulance was coming. She gave me the same song and dance about her son not having medical insurance, who by the way was only 17 years old. I told her she could take that issue up with the ambulance crew.

Brother-in-law happened to be an insurance adjuster and tried to talk me into canceling the ambulance. I asked him if his brother -in-law had some type of internal injury and latter fell out from it, who'd be responsible. His reply, "Me".

Yeah, right buddy. He obviously had a different take on reality and liability.

He kept trying to get the ambulance cancelled to the point that I had to tell him if he didn't get out of my face he'd be sitting in the back seat of a patrol car with a pretty set of linked "bracelets".

The teenage driver had no other apparent injuries other than the knot on his head. Mom signed the necessary form declining further treatment or transportation to the hospital thus releasing the paramedics from any liability.

The driver was unable to find a current insurance card for his pickup, but brother-in-law said he was the family insurance agent and could vouch for the pickup being insured.

Needless to say, after completing my collision report later during my shift, I completed the required paperwork and cited the driver for unsafe speed for conditions and no evidence of insurance at the scene of a traffic collision.

Cruel? I don't give young drivers any breaks. My hope is that they learn a lesson and improve their driving habits. There may be some nay sayer's thinking that by citing young drivers the only people really affected are the parents who pay the insurance premium. Thankfully in the jurisdiction where I work, the Judge who presides in our traffic court will not allow them to pay their fine and orders them to pay the fine by doing community service.

And just in case some of you inquisitive persons out there are wondering, yes my "no break" attitude includes young drivers who's parents are police officers and firefighters. I'm not going to give some young impressionable mind that they have a sense of entitlement and a "freebie" getting out of a ticket because of what their parent does for a living.

Ever Wonder?

2010-05-02T09:43:00.000-07:00

You ever wonder what some Officers think about when they just stare back at you through thier sunglasses when you're being a total asshole?

Thanks Dad, and Happy Birthday!

2010-03-18T00:01:00.000-07:00

What can I say about Dads,

They can be some of the most influential people in our lives. My Dad is the typical "old school" Dad, you know the type who supported the family working long hours. Dad always had something to impart upon me and believe it or not, a lot of it has stayed with me throughout the years.

My Dad is a 20+ year Navy Veteran. He enlisted near the end of the Korean War and retired as a Chief Warrant Officer at the end of the Vietnam War. I used to really enjoy the times he'd take me aboard whatever ship he was stationed on. I think it was those times that got me hooked and wanting to join the Navy as a youngster.

I tried the college thing for a while. It just didn't work. I did have a great grade point average considering my class schedule was something like this, English, jogging, architectural rendering, tennis, architectural graphics, swimming and racquetball. Pretty tough schedule huh.

Needless to say the class schedule didn't go over too well with Dad. Seeing that I was spinning my wheels I decided to follow in Dad's footsteps and enlisted in the US Navy. I worked my way up through the enlisted ranks and attained the rank of E-6 in 7 years.

I spent four and a half years of hell on a small gator freighter as an independent duty machinist. My son was born while I was stationed on that ship. Shortly after his birth I was deployed to the Western Pacific for 6 months. Seeing my infant son in his mother's arms as the ship pulled away from the pier was a heart breaker.

I decided then (with three years left in my second enlistment) that I was going to get out of the Navy and not watch my son grow up through pictures. It really wasn't a hard decision when the time came. Already half way to a retirement I weighed my decision and called my parents while they were on vacation. It was the hardest thing I've had to tell my Dad, especially since he was a "lifer".

Although my decision to get out of the Navy was not a popular one with Dad, he made no objection when I told him I wanted to get into Law Enforcement. I knew he was concerned about the inherent dangers of the profession but he never said anything to deter me.

My Dad always liked listening to some of the stories of calls for service handled and reached the same conclusions.... "some people really are that stupid aren't they."

The years went by, different assignments came and went. Then came the time when an announcement for 2 full time and 2 alternate motor officer positions became available for my department's anticipated motor unit. I had just been involved in a fender bender in one of our patrol cars and received the appropriate corrective counseling.

Thinking that I really didn't have a chance due to the recent faux pas in the patrol car, I wrote out a memo in crayon, writing in my left hand for one of the positions. By the time I had finished, it looked like a 1st grader had written it. Much to my surprise I was selected to be an alternate motor officer. I felt like I had just won the lottery. I've been wanting to be a motor cop since "Chips" was on t.v. Living up to the motor creed of R.A.L.B. (ridin' around looking bitchin'")

Well I just had to share this great news with Dad. I was surprised when Dad's response was pretty sour. He asked if I was crazy and why in the hell would I want to be a motor officer for. I told him it looked like a lot of fun.

Of course Dad pointed out that his friend, a retired motor sergeant from a local agency in the same county I work in told him it's the most dangerous day to day police job there is. I guess this Sergeant told my Dad about all of the horror stories about motor cops.

Dad never complained when I became a US Navy pilot rescue swimmer, never complained when I spent my last tour as a US Navy Shipboard Firefighting Instructor, never complained when I got into law enforcement.....

I had to point out to Dad that he was the one who bought me my first motorcycle at 8 years old and taught me how to ride it which caused my first brush with the law riding it on a public street (and getting caught by the pole-leece). Because of him I had this two-wheel bug in me. That kind of quieted him down (somewhat), but he still wasn't happy about my decision to attend a police motor academy.

I told him my gene for adventure had to come from somewhere.

So here I've been doing enforcement riding for 5 to 6 years now. I love what I do and consider myself to be the luckiest man in the world living my childhood dream. I know that there are very very few of us who can claim to be living the dream. Dad, I like to think that I'm a safe rider because of the early start you gave me on motorcycles.

So Dad, thank you for supporting my decisions even though I knew you felt at times that I was making the wrong ones. And as they say in the world of motor cops, I'll keep my head on a swivel, keeping the shiny side up and the rubber side down.

Happy Birthday Dad.

O.O.L.P.

2010-03-15T12:00:00.000-07:00

During the Christmas season I received a text message from a motor cop buddy of mine working several jurisdictions to the north of South City which read "Commence O.O.L.P."

Not knowing what the hell "O.O.L.P." meant, I sent a text back, "WTF?" (no explanation needed I hope). Next thing I hear is my phone ringing.

Not being in the "know", my buddy explained to me that every Christmas season they spend a lot of time checking the handicap parking stalls at their local shopping centers and malls to cite those drivers who are too lazy to walk and chose to park in a marked handicap stall meant for those who need them.

So I have since been educated and also spent time with the same thing in mind. Needless to say, I was able to write numerous citations for people parking in a handicapped parking spot without the required placard or license plate.

Oh yeah, "O.O.L.P.", Operation One Less Present...... HO! HO! HO!

Butt Cold + Puddles = ICE x OOPS = "photo op"

2010-03-11T12:00:00.000-08:00

A few months ago we had a very cold spell out here on the west coast. I rode into the parking lot of the Police Department and noticed a puddle of water had frozen during the night chill. I told myself, "Watch out for that ice when you ride out of the parking lot."

So after the rest of the motor squad arrived, we decided to head out to our local coffee shop for our morning ritual before the morning salmon run of motorists.

Just like I told myself as I rode into the parking lot, I watched that frozen puddle. I watched it as it lined up with my front fender, as it passed beneath my front tire and then both tires were on the frozen puddle. Thankfully I was the last in line which prevented any others from "dropping" their motor.

Luckily I was riding at about 5 to 10 mph when the laws of physics came into play and a remedial lesson in gravity and the coefficient of friction came into play. My motor gently (if there's such a thing in laying down 700 lbs of steel and chrome) went down and slowly spun around 180 degrees before it came to a stop, and yes I was still in the saddle.

My buddies having the situational awareness of eagles, noticed the beam of my headlight striking the second floor windows of the neighboring building. My partners being the concerned friends they are, quickly turned around.

Of course they wouldn't think of making me upright my motorcycle by myself. They all quickly parked and dismounted their motors and saw that I was now standing next to my motor uninjured.

Now as if they had practiced precision drills at opening their saddle bags simultaneously, digital cameras were produced with blinding flashes going off for several seconds. Once the photo opportunity was completed, I was assisted with righting the motor.

Once all was in order, it was back to our usual morning ritual of coffee with some small talk to go with it.

All in the family

2010-03-07T20:07:00.000-08:00

We have numerous duck ponds throughout South City. I guess that's one advantage of working in a larger city compared to a smaller one, meaning more cars on the road.

This one spot allows us to watch oncoming traffic as far away as 1,500 feet or more. When the cars don't appear to be speeding we'll watch them drive by and more times than not, end up seeing a driver on their cell phone or not wearing a seat belt.

Watching this one group of about 5 to 7 vehicles traveling toward my parked location, I noticed a small sedan drive by and saw that the right front passenger wasn't wearing their seat belt. Not wanting to miss a chance to "educate" the passenger, I quickly fire up the 103 cubic inch V-twin and quickly catch up to it.

I turned on the pretty flashing lights and notice the driver's seat belt is just hanging from the B-pillar instead of being worn. It's not too often that you catch two in one car.

After the car pulled over, I contacted the driver and obtained his driver license, vehicle registration and evidence of car insurance. After speaking with "Dad", I then contacted the adult daughter whom I initially spied not wearing her seat belt.

I got the usual story of them knowing a "friend" who was involved in a terrible vehicle collision and had they been wearing their seat belt they wouldn't be alive today.

My reply to that story I've heard so many times is, "Well I've never seen anybody killed in a vehicle collision where the cause of death was a direct result of wearing their seat belt."

Needless to say neither were happy about getting seat belt tickets, "Press hard 3 copies times two please."

Baited!

2010-02-10T14:47:00.000-08:00

I was riding from the south end South City by way of the freeway cruising at about 70 mph. It's amusing how people give you plenty of room as I can see all of the traffic behind which won't pass a motor cop on the freeway, especially since the typical traffic travels at around 75 mph or faster (hey remember this is California).

I know some drivers behind me are chomping at the bit and wondering when the hell am I going to take an exit off of the freeway so they can drive their usual 75+ mph. I figure there is always one in every group. I bump my speed up to 75 mph to see if there are any "takers" who want to keep up.

Initially the traffic became smaller in my rearview mirrors and then I feel a nibble..... Fish On! I see an SUV leaving the group of cars behind me. When I drive upon the white painted diamond (carpool lane) in the #1 lane or far left lane I begin to count (thinking about that All State Insurance commercial for the 3 second rule).

I get to the count of three when I see the SUV in my rearview mirror drive across the diamond. I repeat this for a couple of more diamonds and see that the SUV is keeping pace with me as I twist the throttle a little more and bump it up to 80 mph.

Sure enough, the SUV is keeping 3 seconds behind me. So I let off the throttle and move over to the lane to my right so the SUV can pass. I slowed down to 65 mph as the SUV matched my speed. After I slowed to 55 mph the SUV finally passes me. I pull behind it and turn on the pretty red and blue flashing lights.

After stopping the car I asked the driver if she knew why I stopped her. She was honest and replied "for speeding". She was honest enough to even admit that she was going 80 mph. I asked her if she knew she was following a police motorcycle. She said she thought so but wasn't sure.

Unlucky for her that I had taken off my jacket which has the word POLICE emblazoned on the back just before jumping on the freeway.

Because of her honesty I cited her for 75 mph in a posted 65 mph zone instead of the 80 mph she had been keeping pace with me.

Icelcars

2010-02-06T08:15:00.000-08:00

I rode over to our local tow yard to inspect a vehicle involved in a crash I was investigating. I noticed numerous patrol cars from local agencies (including South City). I realized that the K9 officers were doing training.

I bumped into one of the K9 handlers, Semper Fi Mac. Now Mac and I had been beat partners many years ago on the graveyard shift. Our entire weekend graveyard shift were a bunch of clowns, always playing pranks on one another. Those were some really good, fun times.

I asked Mac if he had been staying out of trouble. The look on his face told me otherwise. He was telling me that weeks ago when we were experiencing some very very cold nights, actually freezing nights he was bored. Well Mac's idle mind had the great idea of watering down a couple of patrol cars.

He was at the station finishing up reports from the weekend and every fifteen minutes he'd walk out into the parking lot and hose down the two patrol cars. He was laughing as he was telling me this story that the ice had built up so much on the two patrol cars that the small gap where the roof and car door meet was totally filled in.

He told me you could run your hand over where the gap was and you wouldn't be able to feel anything discerning where the roof and car door met.

Yeah, he was sure proud of himself. I got to laughing so hard as he was telling me this story that I thought I might have broken a rib. He was very descriptive about the small icicles hanging from the patrol car's emergency light bar, spotlights and wheel wells.

Since water doesn't instantly freeze, the water on the ground eventually froze. When the dayshift officers arrived to begin their day, they noticed the ice on the parking lot.

Well the city public works people had to come out and put salt on the frozen part of the parking lot. It took one of the officer's 30 minutes to eventually get the door open which didn't include the time spent trying to get a key into a frozen car door lock.

Mac paid though, during the time it took the officers to get into their patrol cars and de-ice them, Mac was held over from his graveyard shift for any possible calls for service until all was well with the icelcars.

We're not heartless

2010-01-23T19:45:00.000-08:00

I was parked at one of my favorite duck ponds at an intersection along one of our busy boulevards. I usually work it in the afternoon because the drivers are heading toward the sun.

This helps light up the interior of the car which helps me see if a seat belt or cell phone violation is being committed, it also helps because the drivers have the sun right in their eyes..... I'm just using mother nature to my advantage.

I see this SUV go by, female driver talking away. I pull out from behind my duck blind and quickly catch up to the SUV and pull it over. I noticed the registration looked to be expired by the month and year tabs on the rear license plate. I walk up to the driver door and she's now off the cell phone. She tells me her window is broken and won't roll down.

I have her open her door and she tells me she knows she shouldn't have been talking on her cell phone. So I ask for the usual driver's license, registration and insurance. The driver quickly hands me her driver license and as probably 95% of the drivers I stop, now have to search through their glove box or center console which is just packed with papers and various items which spill out onto the floor board while they look for their insurance and registration.

While the driver was leaned over looking through the glove box I noticed a stack of bills with "PAST DUE" and "LAST NOTICE". I also see a telephone bill which is a "lifeline" account. The lifeline account is for people who meet a certain income requirement and get a reduce rate for their telephone service.

She finally finds the other paperwork and begins to say "I know you've probably heard every excuse in the world, but", and that's when I interrupted her and said "But you know your supposed to be using a hands free device." I told her what the actual cell phone violation costs after all of the fees and enhancements are added on.

So I figured that there are plenty of other ducks driving around committing some traffic violation I can pull them over for and greet. I used my discretion and let her go with a warning.

Don't think we're heartless. I understand you don't like getting tickets and if I can cut you a break on something like a recently expired insurance card or not having your current registration paper with your car, I will.

So remember the old saying about "If you get stopped by a motor cop you're for sure gonna get a ticket" isn't always true.

By the way, I've got my appointment to see the Wizard of Oz where I will finally get a heart.

A weighty decision

2010-01-02T15:40:00.000-08:00

I was in traffic court the other day. Something usually good and humorous happens. Today was no exception. I see an old police academy buddy of mine who I haven't seen in a few years. He's there for a "client" who decided to fight the ticket for a stop sign.

His traffic case is called. I listen to his testimony and then listen to his defendant cross examine (questioning) him. She has some good questions about the incident which require my buddy to go a little more into detail about the traffic offense.

She ends her questions for my compadre and tells the Judge, "Your Honor, I'm 5' 4" tall and I weigh 110 lbs. The officer wrote down that I weigh 185 pounds. I am not 185 lbs!" The Defendant appeared to be more miffed by the faux paux my buddy made by making her physical description synonymous with "short and round". By the looks of her, she looked to be about 110 lbs.

The Judge asked her what her driver license said. The defendant removed it from her wallet and said "110 lbs Your Honor." The Officer replied, "It could be a new license which had been re-issued." The Judge motioned for the Defendant to hand over her driver license to the Officer. The Judge asked him, "What does her weight say and the license date of issue?" My old academy buddy answered, "110 lbs. and an issue date of 'umpty squat 2008.'"

My buddy handed the Defendant her driver license back. The Judge's ruling....... "I find you not guilty in this matter, count one is dismissed, thank you."

This will probably be the only time in the Defendant's life where being mistakenly described as a blond oompa loompa worked in her favor.

Will they ever figure it out?

2009-12-28T22:11:00.000-08:00

Us motor types have the fun of writing as many tickets as we please as well as responding to all traffic collision in South City. We also respond as cover officers for calls which would be better to have two officers instead of one. When we're not in a ticket writing frenzy we'll take the 911 hang ups, alarm calls, occupied stalled cars, traffic hazards, and sometimes even parking complaints. When we're not doing any of the above, once in a while some unfortunate resident will have his/her house on fire requiring the fire department to respond.

Us motors will respond to those too because there will be a need for traffic control due to the many sheeple who drive. This was no exception. Myself and Jolly set up at both ends of the street to keep the curious idiots disguised as motorists at bay.

Five engines responded as well as one paramedic unit and a butt load of "white shirts" from the fire department. There was billowing dark gray smoke blanketing the neighborhood block. Fire hoses criss crossed the roadway all leading up to the house on fire.

We keep local residents and the curious away and to keep them from driving over the fire hoses. It never fails to amaze me that even the locals become a little pissy and absolutely have to get to their homes on the block which is closed off. They're not happy with being turned around, too bad, tough shit.

Now most of the motorists were very obliging as they understood and turned their cars around. Although they were obliging, it didn't prevent the stupid questions from being asked...... "What happened Officer?" "Did something happen?" "What's all the smoke from?"

Lets see, hmmmm...... Five BRTs (big red trucks), emergency lights on and flashing, one ambulance, lots of fire hoses running from hydrants to the house on fire, tons of smoke in a neighborhood, and two motor cops turning people around...... what gives?

I couldn't resist with all of the stupid questions being asked and had to at least answer the most rude idiot who felt he was being very inconvenienced by all of the hullabaloo, "It's a BBQ for the International Association of Fire Fighters."

Stupidity is alive and well

2009-12-19T00:51:00.000-08:00

I was out one morning minding my own business trying to make a few friends by meeting and greeting when I hear the call sign of one of our Detectives, Callaghan, making a traffic stop. You occasionally hear them make a traffic stop but not very often.

While I'm parked patiently waiting for some unsuspecting motorist to catch my attention I hear the Detective ask for a cover unit. I figured I wasn't too far away so I answered up to take the cover.

I arrived in a couple of minutes and noticed the driver was seated in the back of Callaghan's unmarked car.

Callaghan tells me he was driving down the interstate from court when he sees this hooptie Honda ahead of him going about 80 to 85 mph. So He pulls along side and looks over at the driver just to get him to slow down. The driver looks over at Callaghan and gives him a hard look.

Callaghan didn't think too much of the hard look and pulled ahead of the Honda. The driver of the Honda obviously didn't like the fact that Callaghan had pulled in front of him, so Einstein decides to see how close he can get to the rear of his car.

Now Callaghan notices that this Honda is driving up his rear so he turned on his rear facing emergency lights. Einstein slowed down and gave some space between his hooptie and Callaghan's car.

Callaghan was thinking that he'd just head on in to his office, but he decided to pull the car over anyways. Einstein had his license, registration and insurance with him and it turned out the the fool had a no bail burglary warrant out of Monterey County.

Nothing like getting the "Po-Po's" attention. Idiot's out of county warrant allows the issuing police agency 5 work days to come and pick him up.

So much for making it to work on time.

You've got to be kidding me right now

2009-12-13T22:10:00.000-08:00

We have a radar trailer which is deployed daily somewhere in South City, usually in some neighborhood where there have been numerous complaints of speeding vehicles. The trailer is usually deployed by a Community Service Officer (CSO). It just so happened that the CSO was off and the radar trailer deployment gets left to yours truly.

I stop the SUV I'm towing this trailer with at the reported "hot spot" of felonious speeders. As I'm unhitching the radar trailer I heard a voice behind me, "Are you going to leave that 'thing' parked here in front of this house?" I turn around, not knowing whether this is the home owner or a passerby.

And here's how the dialog continued;

2WT; "Yeah."

Anonymous Citizen (AC); "Right here in the street in front of his house? What if the home owner wants to park in front of their house?" (In a condescending tone of voice)

2WT; "That's right, the last time I checked this was a public street and it looks to me that this house has a driveway and three car garage for the homeowner. But when I get back to the office I'll check and see if the residents of this area have privatized this roadway with them bearing the responsibility of maintaining it."

AC; "Isn't it against the law to park next to a fire hydrant?"

2WT; "Typically yes, if its parked less than 15' from the hydrant. The trailer is 15' 1" away so we're good." and for good measure I threw in a little white lie, "The section applies to motor vehicles and this isn't."

Now it is beyond me that this idiot was complaining about where a radar trailer is parked, especially when it's at that location purposely to slow down drivers in the area and to remind them that the posted speed limit is 25 mph not 40 mph.

The only thing this scene was missing was gas lamps for street lights, snow, the old geezer wearing a tall black top hat, scarf. long coat and saying "Bah Humbug."

See ya Ebeneezer !

Garbage In, Garbage Out

2009-12-01T06:51:00.000-08:00

The "person of interest" turned suspect, Maurice Clemmons who has according to the numerous press releases had an "extensive violent history from Arkansas". Sentenced to 108 years for aggravated robbery at the age of 17. Then Governor Mike Huckabee commuted Clemmons' sentence. Of course because he was so young at sentencing was Huckabee's reason to commute the 108 year sentence.

We all know that the 19 years Clemmons spent in prison made him a model citizen, rehabilitated and ready to become a productive member of society..... BULL SHIT!!!!

You don't spend 19 years in prison and become "cured". You're still the same P.O.S. (piece of shit). Look at prison for these low life's as college. They end up getting their BA, then their Masters and finally their Doctorate in crime, all on the dime of tax payers.

We as a society have become too soft. When did an "eye for an eye" become politically incorrect? California carries out it's death sentence with a "cocktail" which basically puts the P.O.S. to sleep. How painful can that be? No pain at all.

They say the death sentence is not a deterrent to crime. I say if you'd get rid of the liberals and start executing death row inmates quickly instead of them carrying on their appeals for 20 plus years, get rid of the sleepy time cocktail with either hanging or the good old electric chair, you might see violent crimes go down.

But we'll never experience that, because our touchy feely society is too soft.

Clemmons had been recently arrested and charged in Pierce County Washington for third-degree assault on a Peace Officer and second-degree rape of a child.

Mike Huckabee has stated, "Should he be found to be responsible for this horrible tragedy, it will be the result of a series of failures in the criminal justice system in both Arkansas and Washington State."

Did the justice system fail?

It looks like it worked just fine. A 108 year sentence for aggravated robbery sounds fair. Hey but lets throw politics into the mix. It just goes to show what a politician will do to get a vote. Politics let this guy out of prison. It appears that Mike Huckabee is playing "place the blame game".

He says that it was the prosecutor who screwed up and didn't file some paperwork in a timely manner. The Pulaski County Arkansas Prosecutor, Larry Jegley says it best, "My word to Huckabee is man up and own what you did."

Of course Maurice Clemmons would not have made it so far in eluding the state wide manhunt without the help of friends and family. Those friends and family members are soon to be arrested according to authorities and rightfully so. They are just as guilty of murdering those Police Officers as if they had been at the Forza Coffee Company themselves and pulled the trigger.

The Police Officer who confronted Clemmons has done a tremendous service to the citizens. Clemmons didn't obey the Officer's commands which led to the Officer having to use deadly force. Clemmons succumbed to his wounds.

Clemmons' death doesn't ease the pain and sorrow for the Lakewood Police Department and the families of the slain officers, but I'm sure they feel a sense of justice has been served.

An eye for an eye.

The Officer who fought Clemmons at the coffee shop and wounded him before dying just goes to show, NEVER GIVE UP THE FIGHT!

Yet Another Dark Day For The Thin Blue Line

2009-11-29T20:51:00.000-08:00

I'm numb, speechless, shocked.

The tragedy of the Oakland Police Department when Motor Sergeant Mark Dunnigan, Sergeants Erv Romans, Dan Sakai and Motor Officer John Hege were murdered is still fresh in my mind. I wanted to believe that this was a tragedy which would never happen again. Yet it has.

Four Lakewood, Washington PD Officers, Sergeant Mark Renninger, Officer Ronald Owens, Officer Tina Griswold and Officer Greg Richards were gunned down at a local coffee shop, working on their laptops. A whole shift murdered. Four families suffering the pain and loss of a loved one. The holidays will no longer be such a festive season for these unfortunate families.

A person of interest has been named, Maurice Clemmons. It's not clear at this time why, but he is being sought for questioning.

A "calling" is what brought me and many others to wear the badge. When a tragedy like this strikes, our chosen profession takes a hard hit. We try to make sense of the "why". I know there are those in our society who hate the uniform and badge for what it represents, and not the person in the uniform.

I pray that the person responsible for the murders of these four Law Enforcement Officers is caught quickly before he is able to cause more loss and sorrow. We try to make good of our "hard lessons" on how to be safer and to do our jobs better. What little if any consolation it is to the families of the fallen.

Although the Thin Blue Line has taken another tragic hit, we will continue to handle our beats and sectors without fail.

We will remember those who have fallen, and we will honor them. Their names will be added to the list of other fallen heroes on our State and National Peace Officer Monuments. Tragedy does not weaken what we do, it only strengthens our resolve and dedication.

To the Lakewood, Washington Police Department and the families of the fallen four, you have my sincerest condolences and sympathies for a loss of which there are no words to express.

To those of us who wear the badge, stay safe.

Just Plain Stupid

2009-11-24T10:17:00.000-08:00

While in court one of my motor cohorts, Joker is up testifying for his case. Joker had originally stopped the car for the driver not wearing a seat belt and for not having her driver's license in possession.

After hearing the defendants testimony the Judge asked her if she had her license with her. She replied that she didn't have it with her (still!). The Judge looks over at the court clerks computer monitor which she casually turned toward the Judge's view. The Judge tells her, "That might because it looks like your license might be suspended."

Of course she tells the Judge it isn't, so he replies "No, I'm looking at your DMV record here and it says its suspended." So now the defendant has been notified that her license is suspended by the Judge.

She tried to continue to argue her point about not having a suspended license. The Judge shut her down and said he was looking at her driving record and it says its suspended. He told her that the DMV was one block down from the courthouse if she wanted to check on her driver license. He admonished her that she was not allowed to drive.

After she was found guilty, Officer Joker left the courtroom while the Judge imposed a fine for the seat belt and no driver license in possession.

Joker, being the fanatic, oppressive, heartless motor officer that he is waited outside in the parking lot. Sure enough Joker's defendant exits the courthouse, gets into her car and begins to drive away. On go the pretty flashing lights and she is pulled over just after her court case.

Of course her license was suspended and Joker had her car towed. Because her driver license was suspended, not only was her car towed, but impounded for 30 days on her dime.

People might think this cruel, but most of our hit and run traffic collisions involve drivers with never having had a driver license or have had their driver license suspended for one lawful reason or another. We tend to look at these situations as preventative traffic collision follow up for a hit and run that the District Attorney's Office won't touch because they're under funded and have bigger more important fish to fry and a motor cop would much rather be out writing tickets that sitting at a desk typing out a crash report.

If there is any bright side to this story it's the driver's case for driving on a suspended license will be heard at the same courthouse and same courtroom.

Same Bat Time

2009-11-18T08:04:00.000-08:00

The other week, Juan Jalisco and I are sitting in traffic court. As the cases are called and the court room starts to thin out, I finally hear my defendants name called. I see my defendant rise from his seat as I do the same. I catch movement off to my right side. I look over and Juan Jalisco is standing up also.

Apparently both Juan and I had cited the driver less than 7 days apart for the same violation, speeding. I stand behind the podium in front of the Judge as the defendant is standing behind his to my left. I give my version of events and the Judge allows the defendant to cross examine me meaning ask me questions.

The defendant gives his testimony and I'm completely lost to what he's talking about. The location he was describing was nothing close to where I witnessed the violation occur. The driver said he has pictures he wants to show the Judge. The Judge directs him to hand the pictures to me.

I receive the pictures and I'm looking at them and now I have no clue of where these pictures are about. I hand the pictures over to the Judge. The defendant had nothing further to add, the Judge asked me if I had anything further. I told the Judge "submitted". He was found guilty but would not check his driving record nor set a fine until his second case was heard and adjudicated.

So I sit back down as Juan Jalisco gives his testimony of the same defendant being paced in a school parking lot as school was letting out for the afternoon. Then the pictures made sense. They were pictures of the school parking lot and not the roadway I had cited him for speeding on.

Even the defendant was confused and thought his first case with me was the ticket which Juan Jalisco had given him. Given the circumstances of children all around, the Judge found him guilty of unsafe speed through a school parking lot. Two points on his driver's license in one afternoon, Ouch.

I guess the defendants confusion adds some credibility to the stereotype that all motor cops look alike....

Welcome and goodbye

2009-11-11T09:26:00.000-08:00

I was parked at one of my local duck ponds just minding my own business. At this particular duck pond I typically stop drivers for speeding, no seat belt, cell phones and just about anything else I might see which is a violation.

I was stopped at the side of the road after releasing a driver for speeding. I make it a habit while I write my notes on the back of my copy of the ticket to face the on coming traffic. Over the years I've actually gotten used to looking where I place my pen and begin to write. Once I'm writing I'll look at the oncoming cars to see who is not wearing their seat belt or jabbering away on their cellular phone.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I think most drivers when they approach a cop who is on a car stop will continue not to wear their seat belt or continue to talk on their cellular phones knowing that the particular Officer is currently tied up.

So there I stand looking at oncoming traffic as I write my notes and sure enough here comes this red Isuzu Rodeo and the driver's not wearing her seat belt. After the Isuzu passed my location, I put my ticket book in the saddle bag of my police motor, fire it up and I'm up and running after that Isuzu.

I turn on the pretty flashing lights and the driver pulls over into a parking lot. Even after stopping her and walking up to her driver door, she's still not wearing her seat belt. I get the usual license, registration and insurance card and tell the driver why I stopped her.

She agrees and tells me she had just come from a U-Haul store and bought some boxes for packing. I always tell a driver before I walk back to my police motor that I will be issuing a ticket for the violation. This way there's no surprise when I walk back up with my ticket book in hand.

So after writing the ticket and walking back up to explain the ticket to the driver, I get her signature and while I'm tearing her copy from the original ticket she tells me, "I remember you Officer 2WT." I finished removing her copy and look at the driver as she didn't look familiar to me during my first contact.

I apologized and told her that I meet so many people during the year that I didn't remember her. She told me that back in 2004 when she was moving into the "Town" where I previously was a motor cop, I had stopped and given her a ticket for speeding.

She mentioned how apropos this ticket was as she was now moving out of the "Town". I asked her where she was moving to. She told me "Georgia", and then added, "I hope your not moving there too." I assured her I wasn't and told her to have a safe trip.

Faith in the human race

2009-11-05T09:24:00.000-08:00

Working the weekend graveyard shift many years ago made for an easy commute home as I was driving against the traffic at that time of the morning. You kind of get in that "automatic" mode of driving home, sometimes waking up in your driveway not really remembering the commute at all.

It had been a pretty busy weekend, dealing with the usual drunk drivers, bar fights, juveniles causing a ruckus about the city and yes, those damned residential alarm calls where you'd think the homeowners would now how to turn on and off.

I was driving down the interstate not really in a good mood and waiting in line to pay my bridge toll. I eventually get up to the toll booth and stick my hand out my window to hand over the toll amount when the toll booth attendant told me "The driver ahead of you paid your toll."

I don't know and never found out who that anonymous driver was. But thank you. I had been looking down at the state of the human race lately. You restored my faith.

Because of that random, kind act, I'll occasionally leave the fastrac in my other car, wait in the toll line and pay for the driver behind me.

Who knows, maybe acts of kindness are contagious. That's a pandemic I'd like to see.

Weren't you the Officer who.....

2009-10-28T09:23:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I handled a hit and run traffic collision. The call came out early during my shift for the collision which occurred the day prior. The gist of the call was one neighbor (neighbor A) had their car parked on the street in front of their house. The other neighbor's (neighbor B) teen aged daughter parked her car in front of her house. It appeared that the daughter left the car in neutral and didn't set the parking brake.

She gets out of the car and goes inside. Sometime during that late afternoon, early evening the daughter's car rolls forward and into the rear of neighbor A's parked car. Neighbor A was a little upset because they had recently had the rear of that very same car fixed from a prior hit and run traffic collision which caused substantial damage.

Of course neighbor A' version is that he very politely walked next door to contact neighbor B about the "bump" between their cars. Neighbor B is very irate, and insulting during this initial contact. Of course I later contact neighbor B and his demeanor was polite and neighbor A's was very threatening and rude.

I facilitated the exchange of information between the neighbors and all went away happy. You'd think that was the end of the story right? Wrong.

The next day I'm in traffic court for a seat belt ticket and unsafe lane change I had issued to a teen aged driver. As I'm sitting in the court room I see neighbor A sitting in the row in front of me and several seats over. He sees me and mouths "Hi". I give him a nod back before he looks forward.

I look at my traffic subpoena and notice the last name of my defendant is the same last name as neighbor A. Yep, it was his daughter I had cited while driving one of the cars which caused all of the drama from the day before.

Biased Journalism? Oh You Betcha!!

2009-10-23T13:23:00.000-07:00

The other night I was watching the news and the story came up about the shooting death of Oscar Grant and the change of venue for the trial of former BART Officer Johannes Mehserle.

As I listened to the story, the pictures of both victims caught my attention. The picture of Oscar Grant showed a smiling young man. The picture of a stern faced Johannes Mehserle was his booking photo at Santa Rita Jail. Now who in the hell would be smiling for a booking photo, especially for this situation?

This pissed me off! Okay we all know this is a very touchy situation with fingers being pointed everywhere claiming racism, police cover up, and so on and so forth.

Nobody knows exactly what happened on that BART platform or what was going through the minds of Oscar Grant and Johannes Mehserle. Unfortunately Oscar Grant can't tell his side.

Oscar Grant didn't deserve to die, but the media is painting him to be a great guy and anglicising him, while the media demonizes Johannes Mehserle. Tell me that the two different photos don't have an affect on public opinion and if you believe that you probably believe in the Wizard of Oz.

That just goes to show that our media, meaning television news and newspapers aren't neutral, unbiased and are not reporting all of the facts about both of these individuals and if they have they have minimized the criminal history of one of the individuals involved.

I'm glad the Judge granted a change of venue, the Bay Area is too inflamed on both sides to allow a fair trial.

Where are the ethics of these reporters be they television or newspaper? Sensationalizing the story and twisting the facts is what appears to drive these people to get more viewers or readers. Shame on those "sheeple" who's opinions rely on the crap that is written or televised.

Missing Person?

2009-10-17T15:04:00.000-07:00

I hear a lot of radio traffic during my shift, especially when our Communications Center dispatches for three other police agencies and several substations not including South City PD.

My motor partner, Juan Jalisco and I were on our way to breakfast when I heard the call for one of South City's patrol units about a missing person.

During our breakfast, the officer who was dispatched to the "missing person" call showed up and tells us all about his call.

Apparently an Asian Indian couple got into an argument. Hubby says to wife he wants a divorce and for her to go back to India. She says sure and packs her bags. Hubby drives wife to SF International Airport and drops her off. After the wife walked away with her bags into the airport, Hubby drove off only to circle around expecting to see his wife curbside asking to come home.

Hubby drives by the terminal and his wife wasn't waiting curbside. He figured a couple of more laps around and she'd be there....NOT!

Hubby had a change of heart knowing his bluff had been called. He was able to speak to his wife a few times via cell phone and white airport terminal courtesy phone trying to get her to step outside. Well she didn't step outside after she had hung up on him.

Needless to say, he drove home and then called the police to report his wife as "missing". According to the Officer, he contacted the Hubby who could not comprehend the fact that his wife was not a missing person and that a report would not be taken. He was adamant about her missing person status.

The Officer politely reminded him that he had told his wife he wanted a divorce and to go back to India and even drove her to the airport.

I guess Hubby got the clue because he hung up on the Officer.

To the Hubby, be careful of what you ask for because as in your case it looks like you got it. I guess the old saying "You catch it, you clean it" is something above his comprehension.

Personal Accountability, what's that?

2009-10-05T08:00:00.000-07:00

I haven't yet met anyone who enjoys getting a ticket. I've probably heard about every excuse under the sun about why a driver committed a vehicle code violation after getting stopped by yours truly.

I was sitting at one of our local hot spots parked along the curb out in plain view watching the morning salmon run (commute). I see this car drive by me with a female holding her cell phone in her left hand, up to her left ear and was obviously having a conversation.

I stopped the car and walked up to the driver door. Usually the driver will sit there silently until I tell them why I've stopped them, etc., etc. Well as I stood by the driver door as the driver was rolling down her window, I get the "Why'd you stop me!" in that tone of voice like I had inconvenienced her.

So I told her I had stopped her for her not using a hands free device while talking on her cell phone. I get the "I wasn't talking on my cell phone" excuse. I politely told her she drove right in front of me, with no tint on the windows and the fact that her cell phone was pink and clearly seen in her hand. She again said she wasn't using it. I told her that her cell phone was pink.

After asking for the usual driver's license, registration and proof of insurance, she's fishing all throughout the front passenger compartment for the stuff. She tells me its in the trunk of her car. So I follow her back to the trunk and she cannot find her registration and proof of insurance. She fishes out her driver's license from her purse and her pink cellular phone fell to the ground. I asked if I could look at her call log and her obvious answer was "no".

I'm sure the car is insured as it's a newer Volvo S80 sedan. So I tell her if she finds the registration and insurance, just show it to me when I come back to her driver door.

So I scratched out a quick rag for the hands free device violation and walk back up to the driver door. She tells me she couldn't find them. So I politely tell her that I'll give her a verbal warning on those missing documents and she'll just have to deal with the hands free violation which incidentally I told her was not a moving violation meaning no point on her driving record.

She tells me she isn't going to sign the ticket and to just give her her copy. I do the usual, "This isn't an admission of guilt" thing to help sell the ticket. She tells me she has her registration and insurance and begins to look for it again and tells me "I ain't signing no ticket."

As she's turning the interior of her car upside down, I politely interrupted her and told her that I'd have to place her under arrest and take her to jail in the hopes that her case can be heard in front of a Judge sometime during the day. She gets out of her car still looking for the missing documents I had verbally warned her for.

She tells me her husband is a cop. I asked her where he works as there was no confidentiality to her driver license or vehicle license plate. She very impolitely tells me "Don't worry about it."

Well I've just about had enough of her attitude. I had been polite and professional to her. So not recalling if the registration on her car was current, I asked dispatch for the information again as the month and year tab on her license plate showed the her car to be expired.

Once I got on the radio she stopped tearing up the inside of her car and asked "What are you doing?". My reply, "Don't worry about it." During my request I also asked for a supervisor to respond as sometimes when you have those stripes on your arm it helps to get the ticket signed. Turns out her registration was current.

It turns out her husband isn't a cop but had attended a police academy. While waiting for the Sergeant to arrive I politely added the not having her registration, insurance and improper tabs. While she stood there trying to call hubby on her cell phone, I held my portable radio up to my mouth, did not key the mic and asked for a patrol car to respond to my location for transport of an in-custody to the jail.

When she heard that she immediately said "Okay I'll sign it." and muttered "cracker" under her breath. So after she signed it, I reminded her of how much more difficult she had made such a simple incident which almost cause her to go to jail. Not to mention the extra time spent when she could have quickly been back on the road on her way to work.

So ticket signed, her copy in hand, another customer blaming the "po-po" for all of her problems in the world. She gives me a parting shot by calling me a "pecker wood". End of story right? Not!

She called our front lobby and bitched at the Office Tech to make a complaint about me. Hell I hadn't even had a chance to make another traffic stop! She was very rude to him and became even angrier when told she'd have to call our dispatch center. So she calls our dispatch center and begins bitching at the dispatcher. The call gets dispatched to my supervisor about my rude, racist, unprofessional behavior about my "profiled" traffic stop.

Oh did I mention that the driver was a certain ethnic group? So she ranted and raved to the Sergeant. As soon as I heard the complaint come over the air, I called the Sergeant and told him I was coming to the station to talk to him about it.

Unbeknown to the driver, I had digitally recorded the entire contact. Complaint squashed. It's always fun to listen to them back stepping when they're told "You know I listened to the Officer's recording of the traffic stop...."

For those that read this and are of the ilk to make false complaints against Officers for doing their job and those drivers who refuse to accept the responsibility for their actions, piss on you!

I love my job! For as long as I've been doing it I still enjoy it. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my weekends like everyone else does but when Monday is rolling around I'm looking forward to getting back on the bike and "making friends" and not looking for an excuse that I haven't used before to call in sick.

What liberal repealed the law that made it a crime for people to make false allegations against police officers? I think it'd be nostalgic to hang them by the feet and stone them.

It's even a SMALLER world

2009-09-28T15:46:00.000-07:00

I'm sure everyone who reads this will recall a time in their life when you've come across one of those "HOLY CRAP! (or some other expletive) situations. This story has nothing to do with police work other than a couple of people involved.

This one however had no tragedy to it as we see and read on television and in the papers, this story has a great happy ending which there are not enough of.

My daughter-in-law is a really sweet girl, I should say woman. Her and my son were married almost a year and a half ago. My daughter-in-law was adopted at birth and since I've known her she has made several attempts to locate her birth mom. She was born locally and you'd think that it would be easy. Unfortunately she kept running into dead ends.

My wife was talking to me about trying to locate my birth mother as I'm also adopted. My wife walked over to our computer as she continued to talk about finding my birth mom and did a yahoo search for finding birth mothers.

She came across adoption.com and saw "free search" and the word "California". The wife being the incognito private investigator that she is, typed in some of our daughter-in-law's information and very unexpectedly.... BAM! A return on the information!

All of the information matched!! Hospital, city, birthdate, gender, adoptee name and birth mom's name and delivering doctor's name! We used the usual internet search engines and located several possibilities. We called our daughter-in-law and told her what my wife had discovered. They verified the information talking as women do when they're on the phone, crying, laughing and crying again.

Her birth mom had used her maiden name on the website and showed she was married. As we further searched we learned her married name.

As we continued our search to narrow down and locate her birth mother, she called us and told her she thought she found her MySpace page. We checked it and low and behold, there was our daughter-in-law in the MySpace picture, only it wasn't my daughter-in-law. The same colored hair, same eyes, nose, cheeks and smile. They even held their heads the same way when having their picture taken.

We had found her!!!! We were so happy that our daughter-in-law's search and her birth-mother's patient wait were now over.
My daughter-in-law asked me take a picture of the MySpace page photograph of her birth mom and husband with my cell phone and send her a pix message of it. No problem, I have the technical know how to handle that one.

I looked at the man standing next to my daughter-in-law's birth mother and that's when the "HOLY FORNICATION!" (to put it nicely) situation occurred. I had to look at the picture again and repeated my earlier statement several times over.
The first name of her husband on the original adoption.com website and the married name we found later now made sense.

The man standing next to birth mom in the picture is a Police Officer in the same department whom I've worked with since 2006!!! We've worked different shifts while in patrol and now bump into each other on occasion as we're both assigned to specialty positions within our department.

I called him and left a message. He later called back and the rest is history. Birth mom and daughter are now catching up on 24 years of lost time.

Yes, miracles still happen and the wife went out and bought some lotto tickets.

Ever think about downsizing ?

2009-09-13T08:45:00.000-07:00

Anybody who rides a motorcycle on our public roadways will be able to tell you a story or two about a close call with a car. As we all know well, those of us on two wheels won't fair as good as those on four wheels with all that metal around you. You can be the most defensive driver in the world and still have a few close calls.

Those of us who are lucky enough to ride a motorcycle for a living day in and day out stand more of a chance becoming too intimate with other cars on the road.

I was responding to a call of a CHP motor on a traffic stop at the south end of our city on the interstate who was dealing with an irate driver. I get there and see nothing unusual. The CHP motor officer held up 4 fingers indicating that he was Code 4 (situation under control) as I rolled to a stop.

After the truck driver had left, we had a brief conversation. Needless to say the location of the stop was just south of the last exit for South City. I jumped back onto the interstate and took the next exit in the neighboring city to the south to get back onto the northbound side of the interstate.

I'm waiting at a red light behind this huge Hummer (H2). The light cycled to green as I made a right turn behind the Hummer as we drove toward the onramp for the interstate. The onramp for the interstate has two lanes which eventually turn into one lane about 200 feet. This onramp curved to the right and with an uphill grade.

I made my right turn onto the onramp behind the Hummer. I noticed the Hummer made a wide right turn and straddled both lanes. I stayed behind the Hummer not knowing the driver's intention. When the Hummer moved over to the left lane I began to accelerate and pass it in the right lane.

I have this habit of looking into cars as I drive by for things like seatbelt or cellular phone violations. As I'm passing this Hummer and I'm right about at the right rear passenger door I see this Hummer start moving to the right into my lane. I had to move over onto the shoulder of the onramp to avoid becoming one with the soundwall and really turned on the throttle.

Now as I passed this huge behemoth of a vehicle, I look over and see the driver talking on her cellular phone. Since I'm already on the shoulder I slowed down to let the Hummer pass me. I then did what comes so natural to motor cops, I got behind it and turn on my pretty flashing emergency lights.

The Hummer pulled over on the shoulder of the interstate where I contacted the female driver and told her why I had stopped her.

She of course told me the vehicle was too big and that she had to occupy both lanes because the sides of her vehicle would be to close or even scrape the soundwalls. She also said she wasn't talking on her cellular phone, but was listening to her voice mail. She just couldn't comprehend the "hands free" law here in California and how it just doesn't apply to talking on the phone.

I noticed that her address came from the snooty North Town where too many of the residents believe they're "special" and deserve every break their stature in life entitles them to.....BULL SHIT! But it sure explained her attitude.

So after getting her driver license, registration and insurance, I told her I was going to issue a citation to her. She had to ask me, "What's a citation? Is that the same as a ticket?" It just goes to show that being affluent has nothing to do with the level of intelligence..... She did tell me that she was in a hurry and to make it quick which was right in line with the attitude of many persons in North Town.

Now here's a clue. Don't ever tell a motor cop or any cop for that matter that your in a hurry and to make it quick because you'll get the exact opposite from me. I walked back to my motor and did what I love to do.... write tickets.

Since she was in such a hurry and demanding that I make it quick, I took my sweet ass time. My printing on that ticket was so neat you'd think it was done by some architect on one of their drawings.

After finishing her ticket, I walked back up to the Hummer. Because we were on the interstate with cars zooming by at 65+ mph (in California it means more on the plus side) I had made a passenger side approach on my initial contact and the second contact to issue her citation.

For those not familiar to law enforcement, by making a passenger side approach it keeps me away from the side where the traffic on the interstate is, as well as gives me protection using the vehicle I had stopped.

So I told the driver I had cited her for straddling lanes, unsafe lane change and yes, the cellular phone violation. She of course told me she personally knows the "Police Chief of Sonoma County". Her statement verified she was truly a blond because there ain't no such thing as a "Police Chief" for a county in California. Now had she said she knew the Sheriff of Sonoma County, she at would have at least sounded somewhat intelligent.

Needless to say, she told me she was going to see me in court with her lawyer and tell the Judge what happened and she'll win. I asked her if she would bring the Police Chief too.

Her last parting shot was that I had contacted her on the passenger side because her vehicle is so wide. I wasn't going to get into a pissing contest about tactics and safety with her as I handed her my cite book with pen and said "Press hard, three copies."

I handed her copy of the ticket to her as she crumpled it up and tossed it toward the floor board. I just love it when people have that reaction. I told her since it was obvious that she couldn't safely manage her Hummer she ought to think about downsizing to something like those new "smart cars".

Evergreen State Drivers

2009-08-16T12:35:00.000-07:00

Living in California for pretty much all of my life, you get used to the rat race, I have to hurry to work type of drivers. We see them every morning on our way to work and again while driving home. When I ride my personal motorcycle to work, I usually zip to work doing a comfortable 75 mph. But even at that speed I'll have motorists creep up on my ass and I'm not even in the so called "fast lane".

Now I typically don't mind if someone creeps up on my ass while I'm in my car, but I tend not to like it when I'm on my motorcycle. I harbor those thoughts of having a hand full of ball bearings in my hand to toss up behind me to let the driver behind me know that they're too close. Just a thought mind you.

Recently while on a trip in Washington State, the wife and I picked up our rental car at the airport and drove from Seattle, around the south part of Puget Sound and up north along the Sounds west side to Port Townsend.

The speed limit is 60 mph on Washington State freeways. It took some doing not to drive the usual Californian style of 75 mph or faster. I found it easiest to put the cruise control on 65 mph. I was amazed that most if not all of the other drivers were going the speed limit or slightly faster like I was.

I thought to myself, "Geeze, those Washington State Troopers must be some hard asses and not give any breaks to speeding motorists".

Being well into the groove of cruising at 65 mph, and I'll tell you it sure seems like you're traveling at a snails pace, I was feeling pretty relaxed and taking in the beautiful scenery. My wife had a harder time adjusting to the speed limit than I did.

While driving through Tacoma, the traffic was bumper to bumper. I didn't experience the usual Californian "You're not gonna take that space in front of me" mentality when trying to move over. I found the drivers to be courteous and had no problem making my way over to the interchange.

After getting out of Tacoma, the traffic thinned and soon enough we were back up to that sound barrier breaking speed of 65 mph. Once again I was driving along, relaxed, enjoying the scenery and pace.

Driving northbound on Hwy 16 across the Tacoma Narrows Bridge was very scenic to me. The contrast of the evergreen trees which dominate the skyline as well as the contrasting deep blue waters of Puget Sound and the light blue sky was calming. I drove along with not a worry in the world.

Hwy 16 is made up of two northbound lanes and two southbound lanes separated by a very wide median of green grass. The traffic had become very light. I think I saw more cars going southbound than I did going my direction.

As we neared the Bremerton Naval Shipyard on Hwy 3, I saw a Ford F-150 coming up from behind at a high rate of speed. So I moved over to the right lane to let speed racer zoom by. As the truck zoomed by, you could probably guess which state license plate was on it...... yep California.

I guess there are those who don't do as the natives do.

Who'da thunk

2009-08-09T11:51:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago I was doing some traffic enforcement along one of our roadways notorious for people going just a little too fast. It's a four laned roadway with raised center median with a posted speed limit of 30 MPH. The road has business parks along both sides and has some fairly moderate to heavy pedestrian traffic in the morning and during the lunch hour.

While I'm posted up at this location I see violations for the usual speeding, but also seatbelt and cell phone violations. I happened to see this car coming towards me and it changes lanes where it quickly passed the vehicle it was following. So I'm thinking the car is traveling at about 45 mph. I use that wonderful laser radar and lock in the cars speed at 47 mph.

At the time I witnessed this, there were numerous pedestrians as well as bicyclists on or about the roadway, totally unsafe speed for the conditions. Needless to say, I stopped the vehicle and cited the driver and sent her on her way.

I like to move around to different locations, kind a keeps the drivers on their toes not knowing where us evil two wheeled traffic enforcement devils will show up.

I moved over to one of our local boulevards near the north city limit. I see this SUV haulin' ass just as I was parking beneath a nice shade tree. I was able to get my laser radar out after the SUV had passed my parked location. POW!, 52 MPH in a posted 35 MPH roadway.

By the time I get my laser radar in its holster and onto the roadway, I see the SUV make a left turn into one of the business parks. I was able to catch up to the SUV as it pulled into one of the local auto shops. The SUV parked with me behind it and all of the pretty flashing lights.

The driver exits where I got his attention before entering the office of the auto shop. Of course he has no idea why I stopped him as he handed over his driver license and other paperwork. We have the usual conversation, "Do you know what the posted speed limit is on XYZ Boulevard?", "Do you know how fast you were going?" Of course he answered no to both questions which I was happily able to give him the answers to.

I walk back to my motor and began to scratch out the rag for his speeding. I see the driver throw his arms up as he was looking over my shoulder. I turned around and saw the driver I had cited previously in my shift as mentioned above. Of course she didn't recognize me although it had been only 20 minutes since I had cited her.

She laughed as she told her husband whom I was now citing, "You're getting a ticket too!" So I get the driver to sign the citation and gave him his copy. The wife looked at me and asked "Are you the Officer who gave me a ticket this morning?"

I know, we motor officers all look the same, helmet, sunglasses, uniform and boots. Of course I asked her, "Was it for speeding down ABC Avenue and you stopped in the parking lot of 'such and such' fast food restaurant?" She nodded her head yes. "Yeah, that would've been me."

There's a first time for everything and this was my first for ragging husband and wife on the same day about 20 minutes apart. Talk about a ko-ink-e-dink.

Being the thoughtful, compassionate motor officer that I am, I gave them both the same court date. Does a couple that gets cited together stay together?

A Befitting Honor and Legacy

2009-08-02T21:30:00.000-07:00

Today I sat in my comfortable recliner reading the Sunday paper, free to bitch about recent current events without any repercussions and enjoying my first amendment right. How lucky we are to be able to speak our minds freely, to protest against what ever we don't agree with.

What caught my eye was a picture of an Arleigh Burke class destroyer. Those were being introduced into the fleet prior to me leaving the U.S. Navy. The first of this ship class, the U.S.S. Arleigh Burke (DDG 51) was commissioned into service on July 4, 1991. They were and are a BAD ASS fighting ship!

What brought me to this thought was an article which I read. The article was about the U.S. Navy's newest Arleigh Burke class destroyer being christened. Nothing really special, I guess to most. What caught my eye was the name given to this fighting ship.

The name of this Navy Destroyer is the U.S.S. Jason Dunham (DDG 109). Jason Dunham was the subject of a book I had read back in 2005 written by Michael M. Phillips entitled "The Gift of Valor - A War Story". Jason Dunham's mother, Debra Dunham christened the destroyer named for her son.

So what's in a name? Every Navy ship has a history behind it's name. Especially those named after people. Yeah everybody knows who the U.S.S. Eisenhower, U.S.S. Ronald Reagan, or U.S.S. Truman are named after (at least I would hope so).

How about the names of whom were not as famous, but their personal sacrifice was just as much if not more than the famous names in our history.

Names such as;
Pfc. Oscar P. Austin USMC
Chief Engineman Donald L. McFaul USN
Hospital Corpsman 3rd Class Edward C. Benfold USN
GYSGT. Jimmie E. Howard USMC
Navy Cook 1st Class William Pinckney USN
Chief Warrant Officer Donald K. Ross USN
Steel Worker 2nd Class (Diver) Robert D. Stethem USN

The Arleigh Burke Class Destroyers bear these names as well as many others in honor and remembrance to their bravery of thinking of others before themselves.

To most, me included these were names I had never heard of before, with the exception of Robert D. Stethem whom I remembered being tortured, then murdered by terrorists who had hijacked a commercial airliner and then just dumped his body on the tarmac. Petty Officer Stethem was returning home after an assignment in Greece.

So who was Jason Dunham. He was a son, a brother, he was a United States Marine. He sacrificed his young life for the ideals and morals he was raised with. He gave up his future to keep the fight against the global war on terrorism on their soil, not ours. He was a Marine that voluntarily extended his enlistment to remain with his platoon, to see that every man under his responsibility made it back home.

They all made it back home, because while fighting an Iraqi insurgent hand to hand, Cpl. Dunham saw him drop a grenade. There was no hesitation in his actions as he covered the grenade with his helmet and body to bear the brunt of the explosion to shield his buddies. Jason Dunham gave his life so that his men, his friends, his brothers in arms would be able to go home.

Too many people take their freedom for granted and those whom have made the ultimate sacrifice all too often fade away as the years go by. Let us not forget those who have guaranteed our way of life. And if you're interested, take a look at CMOHS.ORG - Congressional Medal of Honor Society.

Open Mouth Insert Foot

2009-08-01T09:17:00.000-07:00

I was sitting in traffic court the other day waiting for my case to be called. Being in traffic court is always amusing for us motor types. I've appreciated some of the funny and stupid things which defendants and officers have said.

My motor partner, Wyatt points out his defendant and said, "Boy she was a real bitch." His case gets called before mine, so I'm thinking this might be a little interesting.

Wyatt and his defendant are before the Judge. I watch Wyatt look over to the defendant as he smiled at her and nodded his head in way of a greeting. Well Missy just narrowed her eyes, hunched over slightly, pursed her lips and just gave him the nastiest glare ever.

Of course there was some chuckling coming from the rest of us who were seated. The Judge even noticed it as he leaned his head back, brought his chin to his chest and raised an eyebrow.

Wyatt and I have worked together for more than 10 years. He gives his testimony telling the Judge the events of this incident. After Wyatt had finished, the defendant is allowed to cross examine the Officer, in other words ask him questions.

She'd ask Wyatt a question. Wyatt would politely and professionally begin to answer her when she'd interrupt him and interject that he was mistaken or untruthful. The Judge of course would intervene and remind Missy that she needed to allow the Officer to answer her question without any interruption.

Missy would apologize, Wyatt would finish answering her question. MIssy asked Wyatt another question. As he was answering her, she again interrupted him saying he was lying and obviously had no independent recollection of the stop. Once again the Judge would remind her not to interrupt the Officer.

Missy's style of questioning and interruptions went on for some time. A typical traffic court trial will last maybe 5 minutes. This one went on for about 15 minutes.

Her questions pertained to the location of the stop, the violation she was alleged to have committed and the direction she was traveling. Throughout her line of questioning she was obviously trying to discredit Wyatt. So she finally gets through her questions and makes her statement to the Judge. The Judge listened to her very patiently.

When she had finished her statement the Judge asked Wyatt if he had anything further. Wyatt's reply, "Yes your Honour, Missy's testimony about the location, violation and direction of travel are all correct." The Judge looked at Wyatt and tilted his head to the side.

Wyatt finished by saying, "The violation and location of the stop is for the other ticket I had given Missy about a month prior to this one."

The Judge found her guilty and before sentencing, he always asks the defendant if they've had any tickets in the last three years.

Missy looked over at Wyatt and glared at him again, when she said, "Only the ones he's given me!"

Paradise found in Port Townsend, Washington

2009-07-28T10:10:00.000-07:00

Looking to get away from the triple digit heat, the wife and I traveled up to the Evergreen State and boy is it sure evergreen! We stayed at a B&B in Port Townsend named the Holly Hill House. Our hosts, Greg and Nina were wonderful. After staying there and sampling Nina's great gourmet breakfasts, I'll never look at that morning meal in the same way again. If you're a history buff, Greg has the parlor decorated in WW II aviation memorabilia. He also has a website about WW II combat aviation books from his private collection.

A great town with lots of history. We used this time to not only relax and sight see, but to check out a few other towns and cities along the Olympic Peninsula.

The views of Puget Sound were spectacular! Not far from our stay was Whidbey Island, Marrowstone Island and Indian Island. The San Juan Islands are not too far away either. Whidbey Island is accessible from Port Townsend via a ferry. Being my first visit to this beautiful state I learned that it really helps to make a reservation for the Port Townsend to Keystone ferry as they fill up fast. I figure not making it to Whidbey Island is a good excuse to "have" to travel up there again.

It's nice to wake up to the sound of crying seagulls, looking out my window and seeing the blue waters of Puget Sound. The Town is not really big, but it sure has a lot of character. The uptown area is filled with many historic Victorian era homes which are beautifully maintained. It's referred to as "uptown" due to this part of the town is located on a bluff overlooking the downtown area (although I'm sure the uptown reference was related to the influential and affluent folk who settled here).

There's a weekly Farmers market held in the uptown neighborhood. Great tasting goodies, fresh organic vegetables grown locally.

The Town is filled with Artisans. If you ever want to see what happened to some of the Woodstock generation, some are living right up there which gives this place it's unique flare.

The downtown area still holds that 19th century charm as most of the buildings are from that era. Great restaurants, shopping and oh yeah, sea kayaking!

I'm used to seeing the murky waters around the Sacramento and San Joaquin river deltas as well as the Carquinez Straits. It was different for me to see such blue and clear waters. I can't explain what my attraction to water is. Maybe it was from growing up in Southern California and playing in the surf at the local beaches, or maybe it could be from my Navy days. Either way, I have a yearning to be on and near the water.

The days are longer there being much farther north than we are here in the SF bay area. It was still light out past 9:30 PM. The drawback is during the winter according to the locals, it's dark by 4 PM. Not everything or place is ideal. You give and take with different geographical places. I think I could deal with it.

We do plan on visiting the area during the off season, just to give us a better idea of what it is like there with the summer tourist season over.

To drive down a two lane road with towering evergreen trees surrounding you, makes you feel like your driving through mother nature's "sky scrapers". It definitely is a sight better than driving down a two lane road with towering concrete buildings surrounding you. While driving on these roads, you have to look up to see the blue sky.

As usual with "get aways", the time passes much too fast. It was nice though, not to be a "slave" to the clock, to breath clean air and not have to deal with the urban hustle and bustle.

I know there are plenty of other beautiful states and places but I was drawn to the area for it's slower pace, scenery, weather and yes of course, it's spectacular local sea kayaking destinations.

I found myself really relaxed and not really wanting to leave such a wonderful, beautiful place and would not have if it wasn't for those things in life such as a mortgage, career, children, school, etc., etc.

So if you find yourself planning a trip up to the beautiful Olympic Peninsula, specifically the historic seaport town of Port Townsend, consider staying at the Holly Hill House B&B. The hospitality is first class, the historic Victorian "Hill House" is beautiful inside and out. Your just a short walk down the steps from uptown to downtown. Greg & Nina will make you feel welcome. And if you're a history buff as I am, you'll enjoy the WW II military aviation decor.

Take a look at their websites; www.hollyhillhouse.com and www.dortchsmilitarysales.com

What a nice break from the daily grind, now it's back to "meeting and greeting new and some old 'friends'".

You're Looking for What!!!!

2009-07-24T19:54:00.000-07:00

Today while I was parked at one of my local duck ponds and heard my razor cell phone ringing in my shirt pocket. So thinking that it's the "Boss" (synonymous for "wife") calling, I pull out my cell phone. The display on the front of the phone which would normally show who's calling just shows a Tye dye of colors after it survived a 40 mph drop while motoring along and trying to tuck it up into my helmet.

I flip it open and see it's a "1-800" number. The conversation went something like this...

2WT; "Hello."
Anonymous female caller; "Hi, I'm looking for 'Dick.'"

Wow! I've never had anyone straight out proposition me like that. The mind was quickly working..... what to say back to the AFC.

I thought of replying, "Cut or uncut." or how about, "With pith helmet, or would you like an ant eater?" or "if the sight of what looks like a baby's arm holding an apple doesn't gross you out."

I thought that maybe she was a past customer of mine and used one of the many terms of endearment I've been called over my career. I knew she was actually calling for a "Richard".

I thought I'd keep it clean and just laughed with my reply, "I think you've got the wrong number."

Big Brother in the Bay Area

2009-07-23T00:18:00.000-07:00

I was perusing the local paper when a headline caught my eye. It was about the Town of Tiburon wanting to have all car license plates photographed which enter the town. They say of course that it would only be used to aid the "authorities" with a lead for solving crimes which occur there.

So where are the checks and balances here. What and how many "security" programs are already in place by government in the cause for "our safety"? We're already caught on "security" cameras while conducting our daily business going about our lives. Good old "Fastrac", makes going over any of the bay area bridges easier. It's also convenient how it transponds your location just like our dash mounted GPS systems.

It'd be nice that if Tiburon passes this "security" system, that all tourist would just boycott that place. Like it's a high crime area... NOT! Maybe its just a case of the "haves" not really wanting the "have nots" in their town. Maybe Tiburon should help the economy and just place a gate with a red and white striped pole which has to me manually raised as well as a little guard shack. Oh yeah, and how about uniforms for the guards...... and twisted cross arm bands and symbols all over the place. It'll create some needed jobs.

To begin and end your visit to the "Fatherland" of Tiburon you're asked, "Your papers please."

It's seems there's examples everywhere of our country getting close to that utopian society depicted in George Orwell's book "Nineteen Eighty-Four".

We allow our legislators to pass laws which take away our individual freedoms. Some of the laws have good intentions behind them, for instance, the helmet, seatbelt laws and the hands free law for cellular phones, but lost individual freedoms none the less. Next thing you know, we won't be able to listen to music or drink coffee while we drive. What's after that? No talking?

What about several of the big name cellular phone plan providers who blindly and willingly handed over the telephone numbers of their thousands of customers just because Big Brother came knocking on the door and said "hand them over." Thank God one of the company's had the balls to tell Big Brother to come back with a warrant. So much for unreasonable search and seizure.

Gun control...... Now lets allow our legislators to pass stricter gun control laws. The only people which gun control laws affect are honest, hard working Americans. So eventually our legislators pass laws designed to take away or severely restrict our ability and our right to "bear arms". Do you think criminals are affected by these laws. Do you honestly think that criminals walk into gun stores and fill out the required paperwork and patiently await their processing time to pass by?

All these laws passed to create a safer society! For whom? My opinion is surely not us. When you disarm the law abiding people as most of us are, things like freedom of speech, freedom to gather and free thinking will shortly fall victim in the cause for a "safer society". Simply put, you disarm the people, you control the people.

There are plenty more examples around such as our financial institutions and automotive business being pretty much owned by Big Brother.

The scary thing is it's being done slowly to the point where your typical person doesn't see it coming and thinks that the soapbox standing people making all of the racket are just crying wolf.

Most of our conformists society don't and won't see it coming until it's too late. You'll be like sheep being lead to slaughter.

Question our legislators and their actions, we're the ones who vote for them and put them in political office. Government is supposed to work for the people not the lobbyists, big business or special interest groups. Remember elementary school history, "by the people, for the people." Oh that's right, most adults can't even pass a 4th grade history or geography test.

It might be hard for some or most of you to believe that a cop, yes a cop has this opinion. I'm not a liberal, just a very concerned conservative.

Question authority.

If you don't the "Thought Police" will be coming for you in the middle of the night......

Unreasonable Retirement?

2009-07-20T14:40:00.000-07:00

Lately I've read several articles and "opinions" pertaining to the retirement benefits of public safety persons. Our local paper, "The Times" have featured articles bashing public safety retirement benefits.

The articles really haven't specified if it was CALPERS (California Public Employees Retirement System) or the 1937 Retirement Act which some California Counties still use.

For those of you not familiar with the Public Safety retirement in California it goes basically like this.... 3% @ 50. This formula is at age 50 (if you plan on retiring at that age) they take the number of years worked (usually using your single highest year) and multiply that by 3. The result equates to what percentage you'll receive of your "full time" income.

So I'm leaning more toward the articles relating to the 1937 Retirement Act because CALPERS has a 90% cap on their retirement benefit.

With the 1937 Retirement Act, you can have a Law Enforcement Officer retire out in excess of 100% of his or her salary. It's basic mathematics here... how can a retirement system sustain itself when people can make more money retired than when they were working full time???

Of course the author(s) of the article(s) from what I've read has never distinguished which retirement system they're writing about. So much for unbiased journalism (and you thought cops were bad!). What a way for these "unbiased, truth seeking" journalist(s) to get the uninformed public on their side to have our "lucrative" retirement scrutinized.

My brother-in-law has the same uneducated view, but hey, he doesn't really work anyway.

To those of you doubting ninnies out there, think about it. I didn't pick this profession for the retirement and I won't argue with you that it is a great retirement, but you chose what ever line of work you do and the benefits which come with it. What other profession in this world other than the military does one's occupational hazard include being killed by some other person?

I chose this profession because I truly felt that I could make a difference out there. And if during my years of service I've only changed the life of one person then it has been worth it. This profession over the years takes its toll on your body. Years of working shift work, holidays worked, family time missed, and sometimes even mandatory overtime due to being understaffed. All of this not to mention the personal toll which many Officers pay for dealing with the scourge of society, those in dire need and even some of the horrific things we experience.

How many of you would chose a profession which has a higher divorce and suicide rate of the general public?

For the doubting ninnies, how much is your life worth to do the job which all of us working the "thin blue line" risk daily? And to be middle aged, which I am, and chasing thugs half my age who often don't just say "Uncle" and give up without a fight?

Let me put it this way, when you're getting the shit kicked out of you, would you want an old cop holding on to the magic age of 65 or 70 to collect his social security benefit to save your ass? My guess is NOT.

And if that (those) jealous, pansy journalist(s) is (are) reading this, GET A CLUE. Oh and try something which has gone to the wayside in your line of work..... ETHICAL UNBIASED REPORTING, now there's a concept.

Be thankful there are people like us in this world to protect you from those which would prey upon you and yours. Let "us" get away from the often thankless things we do daily. Let "us" have our peace in retirement. Allow "us" to enjoy and experience what you have never had to sacrifice.

Working hard or hardly working?

2009-07-12T16:15:00.000-07:00

I remember during my military service I worked a ton of days. Those long days of standing watch sucked! A typical day at sea for us engineering types (people who work in the engine rooms and auxiliary engine rooms) was 18 to 20 hours long. The normal engine room temperatures would run around 120 to 130 degrees.

By the end of your 18 to 20 hour day it came down to a choice..... do I shower and eat, and if so I'll lose about an hour's sleep. Needless to say I'd always take the shower option and only lose about 10 to 15 minutes of sleep.

After I became a civilian I did the usual Monday through Friday 8 hour a day grind which usually turned into a 10 hour day. God I hated that job!!!! Every time Monday rolled around I'd try and think of an excuse I hadn't used before to get out of work. The bad thing was, it was a small business and I only got paid when I worked. There was no such thing as sick time.

After being hired by my first law enforcement agency I had a chance to work day shift, swing shift and graveyard. Day shift was a 5 day, eight hour shift. Swing shift and graveyard were only 4 day, ten hour shifts. So graveyard worked just fine for me. Later on during my career my last agency tried something unheard of and progressive.... the 3 day, twelve hours shifts just for the weekend crews, Awesome! The only drawback was that we would have to work additional hours during the month to even out the hours.

My current agency has a similar schedule, 3 day, twelve hour shifts with no make up time. Having a four day weekend every week is a wonderful balance between work and family.

We keep track of our statistics every month, meaning we count how many citations we've written. Call it what you want, a quota, performance objective, personal goal or what ever else you can think of. Part of this bean counting also includes "shifts worked".

I was not really surprised when I saw the number of "shifts worked". It turned out that I worked approximately 120 days for the year (not including vacation days).

But believe it or not one of my family members beat me out on the number of days worked for the year and they're not even in a public safety profession. That would be my unemployed brother-in-law.

A lot of people probably think this is a pretty great deal and I agree. Even though I have a four day weekend I do get driver's who chose to exercise their constitutional right. This usually means having court one to two days each week (the off-duty court pay is great too!). But once in a while it is nice not to have court and to be able to enjoy the whole four days off.

Someone once told me, "If you love what you do, you'll never work another day in your life."

If that's true, then I haven't "worked" for a very, very long time.

Yep, that was me.

2009-07-06T09:50:00.000-07:00

As a motor cop I get the chance to meet quite a lot of people. Our customer base is huge. On occasion we come across previous "customers".

Sometimes they come out with the "Hey you gave me my last ticket" while others try to remain anonymous not knowing that they've been recognized by you until you let on that you know who they are. And some are just plain oblivious that you are the one who gave them their last ticket.

I guess that disguise of helmet, dark sunglasses, mustache really does work. I always get the "All you motorcycle cops look the same"

One bright sunny day I was parked at one of my local duck ponds when a motorists stops and tells me that there was a broken down vehicle over at Mockingbird Rd and El Corporal Dr. Mockingbird lane is what we affectionately refer to as one of our several speedways in South City.

I arrived at the intersection and luckily the broken down vehicle was on the less traveled El Corporal Dr which is actually the jurisdiction of North Town. I figured since I was there I'd handle the detail. I parked behind the disabled vehicle and had my motorcycle rear flashing emergency lights on to warn any approaching idiots that the lane was closed.

The driver was grateful to see me park behind her (now that's really a change!). Thankfully the driver was a member of AAA. Problem easily solved. I contacted dispatch and advised them that I had an owner requested AAA tow and to expedite as the vehicle was blocking the roadway.

While waiting for the tow truck the driver asked if she could ask me a question. Her question was how much was a cell phone ticket going to cost her.

For those of you not in California, we have this "hands free device" law which prohibits drivers from holding their cellphones in their hands and talking on them while driving a motor vehicle.

She relates to me that she was driving on Mockingbird Rd and had driven by a fast food restaurant where she guessed a motor cop had been "hiding" because she heard his siren a few times moments after she drove by it.

I told her I believed the base fine was something like $20 - $25. She replied "that's not bad." I told her "Yeah, but then you have all of the state, county and court enhancements." The driver asked "What does that mean?" I answered "Oh a total fine of around $147."

Obviously she was not happy to hear that news.

Now the place where she told me she was caught was one of my "duck ponds". I asked her if she remembered the motor officer's name who had given her the ticket. She told me she didn't remember but excused herself as she said "He was a real asshole!"

The oblivious driver remembered she had her copy of the citation still in the center console of her SUV. She goes and gets it, walks back to where I'm standing. She looked at the ticket and said "It was an officer 'Two Wheel Terror'" as she handed me her copy.

I looked at it and said "Yeah, it sure was. I'd recognize my signature anywhere."

You talk about a Kodak moment.......

Watering hole

2009-06-30T15:10:00.000-07:00

Another story about that protest. I parked my police motorcycle in the right turn lane to protect the idiots who decided to sit in the middle of the entrance to this business with their hands and arms encased in pvc and steel tubes.

Needless to say, LAPD blue, ballistic vest, motor boots, and helmet don't go well with very warm weather. I'm one of those types that keeps my helmet on while in the roadway just in case some idiot motorists decides to make me a hood ornament. This is just my way of doing business whether on a traffic stop, vehicle collision scene or protest.

I feel the small inconvenience is nothing compared to being some brain mush body on a ventilator lying on a hospital bed for years when there is no hope for any quality of life.

So yes it did get warm, very warm, in fact it was just plain hot. I'm up and around the corner from the main body of protesters and where all the attention was from the road sitters.

While I stood there I noticed several protesters walk up, set up a folding table with coffee and juice. They also had a cooler full of ice and bottled water. One of our beat officers was just down the road from me. He looked as uncomfortable as I was standing on the hot asphalt roadway.

I used my NEXTEL and asked him if he wanted a cold bottle of water. He looked toward me and asked me where I had the water at. I told him it was in the cooler on the sidewalk where the protesters had set it up. He laughed and said "no".

"To hell with that" I told him. There were about four protesters present getting coffee and water. Much to the surprise of these protesters I walked up, opened the cooler and grabbed four bottles of water. They looked very surprised and said nothing (not that it would have changed things anyways).

I made the short walk down the roadway and handed the other officer two of the bottles. He began laughing saying he couldn't believe that I would take their water. Of course I played it off and told him I thought they were being very kind and considerate to bring a cooler full of cold bottled water for us.

Yeah he mentioned "No wonder you 'motor guys' are always in the shit."

Remember where you can find sympathy?

2009-06-07T14:05:00.000-07:00

One of our big corporations has a yearly shareholders meeting which draws the attention of various groups of protesters. For the most part the protesters are very peaceful and want to make their opinions heard.

They set up their signs, stand along the sidewalk and have their voices heard about what they stand for and believe in. And of course we always hope for the best but expect the worst with contingency plans just in case things get out of hand and go sideways.

I'm sure that some of the views of these protesters are shared by many, including those of us keeping the peace there. I had one elderly protester ask me my opinion about the ecological disaster this corporation is causing in these foreign countries. Of course I have my own opinions. I politely told her that I didn't have any opinions while on duty.

As with any protest you always have those who want to cause trouble and escalate things. One group of protesters ran out into the main entrance of this corporation, sat down and had joined hands within steel tubes blocking any further cars from entering. So as a motor officer I'm tasked with closing down the right turn lane into this corporation entrance.

It's a screwy world when responsible (and I use the term very loosely) adults sit in the middle of a roadway. This litigious society of ours makes it possible for people to sue other people, corporations, and government entities due to their own head up ass stupidity.

For example use the idiots blocking the roadway entrance. If one of those loser's were run down by a car who pays? The driver? The corporation? Their security division head?, the city?, the city's police department?. Probably all of them. All because some grunge looking, unemployed, hemp wearing jackass decides they're going to make a stand and sit their ass where cars travel.

Maybe I'm wrong but I figure if you get yourself even slightly injured up to dead and everything in between because of your own stupidity, then the only person responsible is you and nobody else. Case closed. The only consolation should be their nomination for the yearly Darwin Award

I guess we could politely ask them to get up out of the roadway, yeah right. So as it goes, these idiots refuse a lawful order for their own safety and you use reasonable force to move these people, you're perpetuating the "Blue Meanies" stigma and those so called "victims" of oppression have lifetime injuries and emotional trauma..... bull shit.

As far as the police using any type of reasonable force to remove the human speed bump. You're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't. Those tambourine shaking fools and the attorneys which some of these protesting groups are represented by are going to have anybody and everybody involved in a lengthy civil lawsuit.

Hell who knows, there could still be a law suit because they were sitting on dark roadway asphalt which became pretty warm by some of the complaints the "sitters" were making.

I'm not even going get started about how the media sensationalizes events like this to boost their viewer ratings. We all know that modern journalism isn't about telling the truth. It's about selling newspapers, television news ratings, etc. etc.

Gotta love California and our laughing stock 9th Judicial Circuit Court.

So for anyone out there who does this stupid crap like sitting in the roadway, you can find sympathy for your cause in the dictionary between "shit" and "syphilis"

One of those calls

2009-06-02T17:00:00.000-07:00

You know we respond to some pretty stupid calls sometimes. In fact, so stupid it makes think that "this can't be real".

When I was working patrol I was dispatched to a call of a 415V or in plain English, a verbal disturbance of the peace. The call happened to be at an open air market on one of our boulevards. I get to the location and contact the manager of this market and asked him what was going on.

He told me two of his employees were arguing. When I asked him what they were arguing about he told me that one of them accused the other of taking a quarter from him. I was thinking to myself, "You've got to be kidding!" I asked him where the employees were at.

The manager walked me over to them as neither of them spoke a lick of English. Their English was very broken and hard to understand. A fellow officer arrived on scene and thankfully he spoke fluent Spanish. The officer translated my questions to them.

My first question was "You guys are fucking kidding me right?" I don't know if the officer used the appropriate Spanish translation for "Fucking". I understood one of the probably few words of English they spoke and that was "No." My next question was "So you call the police for a quarter!" Again "No."

So obviously my next question was "Well who the hell did then?" They both simultaneously pointed toward their manager. I asked both of the employees how they wanted their problem resolved. One who denied taking the quarter just wanted to go about his work. The other of course wanted his 25 cent piece back.

Not wanting to waste anymore time, I reached into my pocket, retrieved a quarter and tossed it to the employee. I asked "Is everything square now?" The employee was happy to have a quarter back and replied "Jes".

I walked away, back toward my patrol car when the manager asked me if everything was okay. Now the manager was probably in his mid twenties. I walked over to him, told him everything was settled. I reached into my shirt pocket and handed him my business card.

He asked me "What's this for?" I told him on the reverse side was a number for conflict resolution and next time either call them first or maybe do something like use his brain and just fork over a freakin quarter.

That's what happens when you put "youngsters" in charge, DUH!

Never Forget

2009-05-25T00:01:00.000-07:00

A three day weekend.... great weather, fun times which make for great memories. While I'm on the topic of "memories", I think people all too often forget the true meaning of the holidays our country celebrates.

Many people are thankful for a three day weekend (and who isn't!). I write this entry as a reminder to all of us who are able to celebrate this day with friends, family and loved ones. Memorial Day, a day to remember our country's veterans. Many of those veterans who didn't get a chance to live their life's dreams because they made the ultimate sacrifice...

The sacrifice of giving their life for our country so we could continue to enjoy our freedoms. Freedoms we take for granted because we've always had them. Read the papers, watch the news and you'll see there are still many places in our world where people don't have the same freedoms as we do.

Am I patriotic, yeah I am. I fly the American Flag in front of my house. My father retired as a warrant officer from the U.S. Navy after 23 years. He made his deployments to "Yankee Station" off the coast of Vietnam. I followed in his footsteps and served in the U.S. Navy for two enlistments and then some. My oldest son, proudly serves in the U.S. Navy also.

On Saturday my youngest son and I were running errands. We were stuck in traffic on I-80 creeping along very slowly. This SUV passed to my left as I saw this sailor in uniform seated in the right front passenger seat wearing his dress blues. As typical of traffic, they stopped as I slowly came along side the SUV. The sailor's window was rolled down. I rolled my window down and as I stopped in traffic next to the SUV he looked over.

I told him "Thank you for what you do." The word "thanks" just doesn't seem to be enough. Our veterans went to war as young men and returned as heroes in some conflicts and as villains in others. Regardless of the politics they were called on to do a job either by choice or the draft.

My son asked me "Why did you do that Dad?" How can you truly explain to someone as young as him the importance of our service members serving all over our world protecting our way of live and the sacrifices they make and the sacrifices our veterans have made?

Young men and women who had to put their lives on hold, young men and women who's last goodbyes were not long enough before leaving for war, not knowing that it would truly be their last goodbye.

So while we're all enjoying our extended weekend, please take a small moment of your time to honor and thank those veterans past and present .

Is bad luck better than no luck? Hell No!

2009-05-24T09:16:00.000-07:00

One Friday late in the shift Juan Jalisco and I get dispatched to a two vehicle traffic collision on the west side of South City. Typically collisions that happen on that road are usually either out of the South City limits or out of our county.... not this time.

The collision occurred on a major arterial roadway which goes from 3 lanes in each direction down to 1 lane in each direction. This collision happened because Einstein driver needed to turn around. She politely pulled over to the shoulder of the road where its 1 lane in each direction.

When she decides to make her u-turn she didn't realize another car was coming up behind her. So as she pulls into the lane, POW! the other car plows into hers. Thankfully nobody was injured so no follow up required at our local hospital and it was close to the end of our shift. Einstein driver was able to move her car to the shoulder to clear the roadway and keep the Friday afternoon salmon run (commute) going.

I requested a tow truck for both vehicles to get them completely off the roadway and out of here so I could begin my weekend. The tow company arrived on scene and took one of the cars away. The second tow truck was a flatbed and stopped ahead of the car with the major front end damage.

This roadway was narrow enough without the added flatbed tow truck obstructing more of the traffic lane. I request a report number as I'll be the lucky one writing this collision report as Juan Jalisco took a collision report earlier in the shift. Juan and I are standing near the rear of the damaged vehicle as the tow driver is hooking up the car.

Right after the tow driver gets the car on the flatbed and secured, he walked back to where we were standing with the driver to give him a business card for the location and telephone number to the tow yard.

As we're ready to wrap things up and actually get off duty on time I hear this WHAM! I see the flatbed tow truck shaking slightly. I see a flatbed pickup truck park in front of the tow truck. I noticed the foot step and driver door exterior mirror of the tow truck are totally demolished.

So much for getting off duty on time now...

Juan Jalisco contacts the driver, who didn't have a California driver license or any driver license for that matter. He did have a Mexican Consular I.D. card to go with the strong odor of an alcoholic beverage on his breath.

Juan runs the driver through a standard set of field sobriety tests (FST's) and ends up arresting Flaco for DUI. The tow truck is still drivable and leaves the scene. The driver tells me he'll be at the tow yard as I needed to get some information from him and give him a report number for his boss.

I had to request a third tow truck, this one to take Flaco's truck to the tow yard for a 30 day impound on his dime. By the time the third tow truck is on scene, off duty time as come and gone (always on a Friday). Flaco's truck is up on the hook and on its way to car jail. I head over to the tow company only to find out the driver's on another call, thankfully within South City.

I have his dispatcher contact him and tell him I'll meet him at his tow location to wrap up the crash. Now I'm like everybody else, its Friday and I'm ready to begin my weekend.

I fire up the Harley and I'm off like a prom dress to finish up business and get the hell outta Dodge. I'm cruising down a frontage road which parallels I-680 at what I determine to be the speed limit for being late on getting off work again.

SHIT! I see black smoke billowing up into the air coming from I-680. As I ride by I see a car almost fully engulfed in flames. I notified dispatch to get fire and CHP rolling to the location (not that I hated to bother and interrupt the fire guys playing their XBOX game while seated in their lazy-boy recliners) I do a u-turn, park, jump the chain link fence with no horizontal support bar at the top (helmet, motor boots and all, not an easy feat).

I get up to the car and thankfully see that no one is still inside it. I don't see anyone walking along the shoulder. I'm told the fire department and CHP are on their way. Fire got there pretty quick and doused the fire quickly. CHP showed up while the fire guys were doing their magic of putting foam and water on the car.

I inform the CHP officer how I came upon this obstacle for getting off duty, then I'm off again to meet the tow driver. Needless to say, I catch up to the tow driver and conclude business. I get back to the office parking lot and go to retrieve my keys from my duty belt.

Wouldn't you know it, my damn keys were gone. My guess is I lost them as I climbed that damn fence to check on that burning car.

Yep you guessed it, back to the scene of the fire and where I hopped the fence. The whole area was covered with dead leaves which went up to my ankles....

And no, I didn't find my damned keys.

I meant to do that

2009-05-23T07:34:00.000-07:00

Some time ago while I was working as a motor cop in North Town we used to run Lidar on a frontage road. When the interstate traffic was way backed up, motorists used to use this road as a bypass. It made for easy pickings.

While I'm posted up beneath some shade, I see this nice BMW sedan haulin ass. The posted speed limit for this section of road is 40 mph. I estimated that she was doing around 60 to 65 mph. I had her speed locked in at 64 mph. I pull onto the roadway behind her waiting to get further south to where the road widens.

I turn on my emergency lights as she begins to move to the right side. She pulled onto the shoulder of the road at the same time I was on the radio with dispatch when she just slammed on her brakes and came to a quick stop. I mean real quick.

I remember grabbing all the brake I could as I saw this clean, shiny pristine rear bumper of a BMW. I'm thinking to myself, "Aw shit, this isn't going to be good."

As I rode onto the white painted fog line for the shoulder of the road my rear tire locked up due to the slickness of the paint compared to the asphalt. Well the back end of my motor began to slide to the right as the rear of the BMW came closer and closer.

The rear of the motor stopped sliding as the motor came to a stop, then high sided as motor and I fell to the right. Luckily I had missed the rear bumper of the BMW. The driver got out of her car and came running back to the rear of her car, you know those tiny little running steps in high heels with arms held high bent at the elbows.

I watched as she stooped down, looked at her bumper to check for damage. When she saw her BMW wasn't touched she then turned and asked me "Are you okay."

Thankfully no damage to the motor and the only damage was to my pride as I stood there embarrassed as motorists drove by looking at the scene of a police motorcycle on its side. It's a sight that any motor officer dreads.

Now to pick up this Harley Davidson Road King..... I could radio for my fellow motor partner to come and help and probably hear about this incident till retirement. The same thing would happen if I called a beat car to come out and help. The driver was kind enough to offer her help, but I asked her to take a seat in her car.

I was able to get the motor upright and I hope to never have to do that again. Next time I think I'll put up with the ribbing from my fellow officers. Luckily I didn't throw my back out. Too eager and being a new motor officer, I figured I had better tone it down if I want to become an "older" motor officer.

Lesson learned: New motor officer, riding too aggressively = bruised ego. I was very lucky. I could have bruised or broken a lot more to the point of a medical retirement if not worse.

I was too eager being a new motor officer. I figured I had better tone it down if I want to become an "older" motor officer.

Since that incident years ago I've learned that you won't catch all the violating motorists and some are not worth my safety to even attempt to catch.

Yeah, she still got her ticket and thankfully she never took it to court.

Oops!

2009-05-22T22:28:00.001-07:00

Old school was meant for another publication, sorry for those of you who got a peek at the darker side. To BTV, you are absolutely right!

The truth shall set you free

2009-05-22T21:40:00.000-07:00

I was dispatched to a solo vehicle traffic collision which occurred on one of our residential streets. What had happened was one of our Police Explorers was driving home after buying an X-Box 360 game and was in a little hurry.

Let me describe the scene to you. He was traveling westbound on a major boulevard which had two lanes and made a right turn onto the street he lived on, a regular residential roadway with no lane divider. He had actually moved over into the opposing lane of traffic and side swiped this parked car.

I arrived at the location and spoke to the driver. He told me he was driving at about 20 mph when he made his right turn. Now he further said he made his right turn from the right lane of the boulevard. I asked him if he had any passengers with him. He said he was the only person in the car.

I looked at the damage to both vehicles and the physical evidence on the roadway. I noticed a very clear, defined critical speed scuff. A critical speed scuff is a tire mark left on the roadway when the tire loses traction in a turn. I noticed this critical speed scuff began in the left turn lane on the boulevard. He tried to apex his turn by driving across both lanes of the boulevard and turning close to the corner nearest him onto his street.

This critical speed scuff continued onto the residential roadway into the opposing side of the roadway up to where the parked car was hit. I asked him again how fast he was driving. He stuck with his original answer of 20 mph from the right lane of the boulevard.

I told Junior that the gray in the sides of my hair and mustache were indicators that I've been doing this job for a while. I also threw in the comment, "I was born at night, but not last night." I realize young people make stupid decisions. I was young once so I understood why he wasn't being honest. Hell I still do stupid things. This was me giving Junior a chance to come clean.

I pointed out my motor boots to Junior and asked him if he knew why we wear them. He of course said they were for safety. I told him, "No, its to prevent the bullshit as it gets deeper from getting my pants dirty." So I told Junior to think about what really happened and I'd come back and talk to him after I took my photographs of the traffic collision.

While I was taking the photographs, my dispatcher told me that I had a neighbor who had further information about the collision. I contacted this neighbor with my cell phone. This neighbor ranted and raved about the speeding problem on this street as well as the person who was involved was one of the "regulars" who frequently speed down this residential street.

She asked me if the driver was all right. Then she inquired about the passenger she saw get out of the car. I told her that to the best of my knowledge there was no passenger. She was positive that she saw a friend of his get out of the passenger side door.

I walked back up to Junior and had him tell me again what had happened. The only part of this dumb ass's story which changed was he might have been going 25 mph. I asked him again if anyone else was in the car with him. Once again he told me he was the only person in the car.

Listen if a cop asks you a question more than once, realize he or she more than likely already knows the answer. So I asked Junior why a neighbor would request a call from me only to tell me that she saw a passenger get out of the passenger side. Well his stumbling words told me the truth. I told him to call his friend and have him get his butt back up to the collision scene.

I had an ambulance respond due to the complaint of pain Junior had, and figured the passenger should be checked out also, not knowing if he was injured.

I then began to show Junior the critical speed scuff, where it originated from and how it didn't match the speed he had given me. I was able to determine his minimum speed based on the critical speed scuff and it sure as hell wasn't 20 to 25 mph.

The reason his passenger had run was Junior had his driver license for 4 months. He was a provisional driver who wasn't allowed to drive any passengers in his car under the age of 25.

Of course I cited him for an improper position for a right turn, unsafe speed for conditions, violation of his driver license provisional restrictions, and failure to provide proof of insurance at the scene of a traffic collision.

I later spoke to the Officer who is in charge of our police explorers and told him about the traffic collision and Junior's less than honest statement of how the collision happened. Unfortunately for Junior, he is no longer a police explorer with our agency.

This is one of those instances where I don't think I'll be going to court on the ticket Junior received.

Surprise! We eat and drink!

2009-05-21T07:06:00.000-07:00

Why is it that just about every other profession can get together in a public place without any repercussions? I guess some people have nothing better to do than to bitch and complain.

You see a group of employees from waste management eating lunch at a local place and no problem. I'll see several UPS trucks parked near a restaurant with the drivers inside eating and no problem. I've even seen a crew of South City maintenance workers taking up an eatery and yeah, no problem. Hell I'll even see a fire truck parked at a local coffee shop with its crew having coffee..... no problem.

You get a motor unit at a restaurant and some citizen complains. Maybe they received a ticket from one of us and figure some type of pay back is due. As usual they don't have the intestinal fortitude to leave a name when they make their complaint.

Of course this person just plain lacks common sense. Lets see, several motor officers all gathered at one location eating lunch.... hmmmm. That probably means nobody is watching the streets for speeders and other violators of the California Vehicle Code. Go figure.

Well, we now get our lunches to go and meet at an out of the way place, out of the way from whining, butt sore citizens who are the same people who complain if we stop and get a cup of coffee in the morning.

People, we're entitled to a couple of breaks as well as a meal period during our shift. Get over it and get a life.

Damned if we do, damned if we don't.

Dad is work fun?

2009-05-20T06:44:00.000-07:00

My son who is in the first grade asked me one day, "Dad is work fun?" Now I had to clarify his question. Is what I do for work fun or being a grown up and having to work fun? He meant the latter.

I told him that was a good question, IS WORK FUN? I explained to him that its important to chose a path in life which makes you happy in every respect. I told him when I finished my military service I had actually gotten out without having a job set up. Irresponsible? Maybe, maybe not. I was kinda tired of having Uncle Sam running my life and being away from home more times than not gets real old.

So as a new civilian I took the first job that I saw fit my military experience. I started out making $7 an hour back in the day. After almost two years of working this dead end job, my employer saw fit that my hourly wage was $9 an hour. Now I knew this job wasn't my future.

My original plan was to get out of the military and apply for law enforcement jobs. Little did I count on our country being in a recession and little to no law enforcement agencies hiring. Those that were hiring wanted a college education which I lacked. To better my career prospects I had enrolled in night classes at the local community college.

I was fortunate enough to be hired and paid to go through the Police Academy with benefits with a bay area agency. I can honestly say that every assignment I've had in my law enforcement career has been fun and challenging.

So to get back to my son's question. I told him there aren't very many people who work their days living their childhood dream of being a motor cop. Hey I loved working graveyard patrol, but being a motor cop is icing on the cake. I had dreamed of being a motor cop as a child but really never thought it would happen. I was happy enough just wearing the uniform and badge.

I told him every day at work is fun for me. I work with a group of great guys I've known for years, I work for a great department with a great schedule (I work 3 days a week, hell I'm off more days during the year than I am at work).

I told my son to chose a job / career that he would absolutely love. He told me he didn't want to be a policeman. I'm proud that he had the cojones to tell me that at his young age.

So my son's little comment allowed me to reflect on a topic that I too often take for granted. My first job out of the military SUCKED! Every Monday I'd try and think of an excuse I hadn't used before to get out of work. As many years as I've been a cop, I still love going to work. Don't get me wrong. I enjoy my weekends like everyone else, but when my Monday rolls around I'm ready to get back to some fun.

Now the question I asked my son is what he wanted to be when he grew up. He told me he'd like to be a veterinarian or a chef. I told him to go for it and as he grew older he'd realize where his passion lay.

Kind of odd choices together.

Of course the cop humor came quietly to play in my mind...... veterinarian or chef..... the light bulb came on! He could open a veterinarian clinic right next to his Southeast Asian Cuisine restaurant.

RHIP (rank has it's priviliges)

2009-05-19T05:16:00.000-07:00

The Sergeant and I were riding around tandem on a "training" ride. We rode through several local jurisdictions when he remembered he had a meeting to attend.

So we kind of stepped on it and moved out so he'd get to his meeting on time. As we're riding he gets my attention and points at his gas gage. When we stopped at the next stop light he tells me his low fuel light was on and he didn't know how long it's been on.

We were about a mile and a half away from the PD where his meeting was. We round a corner as I heard his motor sputter. He motions to me that he's got to pull over. Now here we are on one of our city's main thoroughfares and he's run out of fuel. It was five minutes to meeting time. My gas tank was almost full.

Yeah you guessed it. He pulled that "I've got Sergeant stripes on my sleeve and you have none." He tells me, "Hey I hate to do this 2WT, but I'm commandeering you motor so I can get to my meeting." I don't think he really hated it as he was laughing when he rode off.

Me I had to request a tow truck via our dispatch center. The dispatcher asked the need for a tow. Of course I had to let everyone know why.... "Because the Sergeant ran out of gas."

I had several motorists stop and ask if everything was okay. Yeah of course, I just figured I'd turn on the motor's hazard lights on, park on the shoulder of the road and stand here looking important.

In retrospect, I should have played ignorant and pretended not to understand the Sergeant's gestures to pull over and ridden off, down the roadway. Next time I'll know better.

Higher education in the Peoples Republic of Berkeley?

2009-05-18T06:40:00.000-07:00

This past Friday was a beautiful day. The weather was a little on the warm side to be wearing wool riding breeches, motor boots, you know the typical motor garb. But hey, I'm not complaining. I love working in beautiful weather.

The day was nice. I had the opportunity to "meet" numerous drivers, all of which were not happy to meet me. We motor guys have an "eye" for things. We can be riding around minding our own business (at least we like you to think we are) and it doesn't matter how fast we're traveling down a city street. WE SEE THINGS! Things like vehicle code violations, such as talking on you cellular phone in a non hands free mode, or not wearing your seat belt, unsafe turns, etc. etc.

I was stopped in a left turn pocket of one of our city roadways. This idiot slows to a stop in the lane to my right slightly ahead of me and I can see through his windows that his seat belt was not being worn. I pulled behind him and sure enough, that bright shiny buckle was dangling from the B-pillar of his car.

I turn on my emergency lights and give a short blast of the siren and motion for the driver to make a right at the intersection. As we're pulling in I watch the driver put his seat belt on, I guess hoping I wouldn't see it.

Our conversation went something like this;

Me: Good afternoon, may I get your license registration and insurance card.
Idiot: Is there a problem Officer, why are you stopping me?
Me: I noticed as you stopped by me you didn't have your seat belt on.
Idiot: But it is on. I think you're mistaken Officer.
Me: It wasn't on when you slowed to a stop near me.
Idiot: But I have it on. (notice he never used past tense)
Me: I need that information from you, you know driver license, registration and insurance.
Idiot: My wallet was stolen yesterday and I don't have it.

So I get his information verbally and ask if there are any past tickets or addresses he lived at to try and verify he's giving me his true name as people never lie to the police.

He shows me a bank debit card with the name he provided me. I told him I was going to issue a citation for the seat belt violation. He told me he was a college student and didn't have a lot of money. When I told him I'd be right back, he tried another excuse of just being headed to the gym for a quick workout... I didn't quite get how that one is supposed to get you out of a ticket. His final one was his brother was graduating. Woo Hoo! Well hell, why didn't you say so? Never mind then, you can go happily on your way then..... bullshit. You're going to get a ticket pal.

I walk back to my motor and begin to scratch out a rag. I heard the driver yell several expletives as I watched him punch the interior of his car. I continued to write his ticket as I would look up quite frequently and noticed his car was shaking from all of his motion. Then he starts blasting on the horn which pretty much drown out his expletives.

This type of behavior really makes me want to make sure that my printing on the citation is SUPER LEGIBLE, you know that really clean, architectural type printing that you sure don't rush.

So I get the rest of his driver license information like the DL number, physical description and any history of violations from the dispatcher. I walked back up to the driver door and explain that his signature is not an admission of guilt, etc. etc. I lay my ticket book on the door and hand him my pen.

Idiot scratches an "X" in the signature box. Then the following dialog occurred.

Me: Is that how your signature appears on your driver license?
Idiot: Yeah.

Well because Idiot didn't have any type of formal I.D. on him I always take a right thumb print as Cal. DMV has right thumb prints on file of all licensed drivers in the golden state.

Me: I need your right thumb (as I open up my small ink pad).
Idiot: I don't think you can do that, I know my rights.
Me: You may know your rights, but I need your right thumb print because you don't have any formal picture I.D.
Idiot: I know my rights, I don't have to give you my thumb.
Me: You know your right, step out of the car because your under arrest.
Idiot: WHAT?!
Me: (Loudly) YOU WANNA PLAY THAT GAME? OKAY, I'LL YANK YOU OUT OF THAT CAR, HAND CUFF YOU AND CALL A PATROL CAR OUT HERE AND PLACE YOU IN THE BACK. THEN YOU'LL BE TAKEN TO THE COUNTY JAIL TO BE PROPERLY IDENTIFIED AND YOU MIGHT GET OUT BEFORE MIDNIGHT BECAUSE FRIDAY'S ARE PRETTY BUSY THERE.
Idiot: Okay, Okay, I'll give you my thumb. (hands his left thumb to me)
Me: YOUR OTHER RIGHT!

So I get Idiot's right thumb and hand him his copy of the ticket as he says in a very condescending tone, "Thanks for doing your job officer."

Me: Why thank you and you're welcome. Oh by the way, what college do you go to?
Idiot: Berkeley
Me: That explains it.
Idiot: Explains what?
Me: Most people your age, especially those attending higher educational institutions know how to spell and write their names. Oh and most kids in kindergarten know their left from the right too.
Idiot: Thanks again officer (again in a condescending tone).
Me: No problem, oh I forgot to tell you. You have additional violations of not having your driver license with you, unnecessary use of the horn and not having a current insurance card with you.

Don't play me for stupid when I witness a violation. If I'm only 99% sure that I witnessed a violation, tie goes to the runner and I'm not going to waste your time and especially mine by stopping you to give you a warning. I only stop those violations that I'm absolutely 100% sure occurred.

Once again, attitude is everything. You play nice, I can play nice. You wanna be an ass, I'll be a bigger ass. I hope Idiot learned an important lesson here..... Power of the pen Baby!

Entrapment! Bullshit!

2009-05-17T06:00:00.000-07:00

My brother-in-law is an ass. When ever we have our family get togethers he always has some smart ass or derogatory remark about Law Enforcement. It chaps his ass when I don't react the way he thought I would. He's the type that is always stopped and cited for something he didn't do...... yeah right. Like I would jeopardize my career, my motor assignment and retirement to cite someone I've never met until I stopped them..... for a freakin' infraction!!!! PUH-LEESE GET A LIFE!

His latest bitch was about his local police agency conducting traffic enforcement on this winding road with no concrete center divide to separate the opposing traffic. There have been numerous traffic collisions with no injuries to serious injuries up to and including fatalities.

If you noticed I didn't use the word traffic ACCIDENT, because there's no such thing. When will people understand that two objects cannot occupy the same space at the same time?

My butt sore brother-in-law noticed that this local police agency had an officer up in a bucket truck, you know the type the power companies use for work on power lines. Well this officer was using LIDAR at approaching traffic and radioing the lane the car was in along with the make and color to a group of motor officers waiting just down the road.

Now what an ingenious way to catch speeders! I love it. Now that's thinking outside the box (which incidentally is the same shape as my brother-in-law's head).

Now my inbred, uneducated brother-in-law bitched that it was unfair to drivers and it was in fact entrapment. He's of the mind (what little he has) that the police should be out in plain view probably with a flashing neon sign pointing to where the officer is.

You know the old saying, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink." The same goes for "You can send an idiot to school but you have to have a brain to learn." Hence my brother-in-law's problem.

So to the police agency who does traffic enforcement on that dangerous road, I hope you catch my brother-in-law someday. You'll know who he is when you stop him. He'll be boisterous, he'll try to get your goat by insulting you, your profession, even your mother. And after you cite him, expect a complaint to come your way from him.

He's a spineless pussy and that's how he handles business. He knows nothing about personal accountability. So cite him for what you can and when he's pressing hard on the 3 copies, ask him if his brother-in-law is a motor cop. If he replies yes, make sure you ask him what agency I work for because you've got a loaded starbuck's or peetes card coming your way and lunch is on my dime!

Hell I'd cite him myself if I saw that knuckle head driving head up ass in my city.

You're not special either!

2009-05-16T18:05:00.000-07:00

I worked overtime last Saturday thanks to the State of California's Office of Traffic Safety and their click it or ticket grant. It's pretty amusing to see the faces of drivers as they all know too well that us motor types don't work the weekends.... easy pickings.

I decided to head out to the east side of South City and found a nice spot on the center median of one of our busy roadways we comically refer to as a "speedway". It was a very nice day, bright and sunny. This spot on the center median is a small pedestrian path and it gave me the perfect vantage point along with the direction the sun was shining to watch my prey approach.

It didn't take long for my first "rag" of the day. I see this SUV go by, driver wearing a brown shirt and no shoulder belt over his shoulder and across his chest.

I enter the speedway and quickly catch up to the SUV where I proceed to turn on my emergency lights to let the driver know he's been caught.

Of course as in most cases when I contact the driver the seat belt is on and they don't have the slightest clue about why they were stopped. I noticed the gray belt coming over his shoulder and across his chest and stood out against his brown shirt.

I tell him why I stopped him and he just lets out a deep sigh. After getting his driver license, registration and insurance card he tells me who he is. Yep it said the same thing on his driver license except the other fact which he told me that he was a retired pro baseball player from the Oakland Athletics.

I guess he figured that would get him out of a seat belt ticket... NOT! While I was standing by my motor scratching out his seat belt rag he must have thought "Maybe he isn't an A's fan."

When I re-approached his driver door with his ticket. He looked at me and said "No break for the old Giant eh?" Nope not today, press hard 3 copies.

Remember people, you have a better chance of winning the lotto or some state power ball before being given a break by a motor cop.

So yeah, I got his autograph, right inside the high lighted box with the words "Without admitting guilt, I promise to appear at the time and place indicated below."

I don't find this as blatant or offensive as those persons of the 11-99 foundation who abuse their membership by flaunting their bronze placards, license plate frames and vinyl 11-99 emblazoned vehicle registration holders.

Prying eyes

2009-05-15T20:57:00.000-07:00

Once in a great while us motor dudes drop our motors. Not the hard crash into a car or a car into us, just the simple "oops, it fell on its side" type stuff with little or no damage. It's not a fun thing to have happen, number one because it's embarrassing as motorist drive by and see your Harley on its side. Second, they're freakin' heavy and a bitch to pick up by yourself, lest you want to call your motor partners up to give you a hand (usually the clapping type of helping hand and only of course after they've taken their numerous pictures for future humiliation).

One nice sunny morning all five of us were working in separate areas of South City. I had just completed a traffic stop when I hear my Nextel chirp. I see it's my Sergeant. I answer up and he asks, "Alright which one of you knuckle heads dropped your bike?"

I replied, "Wasn't me, I only do that in training. You better check Juan Jalisco, he's good for that every now and then." Well sure enough, it was Juan Jalisco. Thankfully he wasn't hurt or the motor either. What had happened was after clearing his traffic stop, Juan got on his motor to ride off. As he began a sharp turn the engine hesitated and caused the motor and rider to fall over.

Unbeknown to Juan, a wife of one of our Sergeant's worked in the building where the motor fell over. A co-worker of the Sergeants wife asked her if she knew if that motor officer was alright that had "crashed" in front of the building. Well the Sergeant's wife not knowing either, called her Hubby Sergeant and asked him. Well Hubby Sergeant didn't know either so he called the motor Sergeant....

Well the motor Sergeant sure as heck didn't know which one of his guys dropped his motor, hence the round of Nextel direct connect calls.

One of our traditions when one of us does something stupid like dropping our motor or anything else we deem appropriate is to use a pink rabbit sippy cup to drink coffee out of when we go to our local Starbucks.

You'd think pink and LAPD blue would clash.......

Judicial Notice?

2009-05-13T21:16:00.001-07:00

On occasion when there are a tremendous amount of traffic cases in our court, to speed things along some of the traffic cases are moved upstairs to be heard by a criminal court judge.

That happened to me on this day. As myself and the Defendant entered the court room and took our seats another traffic case was going on involving the defendant and officer. The Judge allowed the defendant to express her side of the story. I listened to the defendant claim that she had stopped at the stop sign and had not "rolled" through it.

The Judge finally said the defendant was not saying anything new that he hadn't already heard and found her guilty of failing to stop at a stop sign.

After the defendant and officer left the court room, the Judge addressed those of us seating before him. He told us how his 5 year old son accompanied him to a 4-way stop sign controlled intersection in their neighborhood. The Judge instructed his son to tell him which cars stopped and which ones didn't.

The Judge related how his 5 year old son had positively identified with 100% accuracy which cars had stopped and which ones had not. The Judge then said, "If my 5 year old son can tell if a car stopped or didn't stop for a stop sign with 100% accuracy, I'm sure a well trained Police Officer is just if not more capable."

The court room was silent. Then the Judge threw up his hands and said, "Listen people, if you're speeding down a road and the police catch you speeding by the use of their radar or lidar, they got you, plain and simple, they got you."

The very next case the Judge called was mine. As is customary in our court I identified myself, "Good afternoon your Honor. I'm Officer 2WT, traffic officer for the South City Police Department. This matter concerns a lidar enforced speed violation......"

Priceless

This badge ain't made of tin

2009-05-12T20:00:00.000-07:00

Many moons ago while I was still pushing a patrol car, working weekend graveyard, my beat partner and I would ride our motorcycles to work. Needless to say we'd be riding just a tad over the posted speed limit as evident from the sonic booms while breaking the sound barrier. My beat partner Philosophical Al never bothered getting his M1 endorsement.

Me, I wasn't any better. I had let my M1 endorsement lapse. Our department decided to start up a motor unit. We already had a traffic car. There was going to be two full time positions and two alternate motor positions. I had just gotten into a fender bender with a patrol car and didn't hold out too much hope of being selected.

I thought my chances were so slim that I actually turned in my letter for the position on department letter head and used crayon to write it out. I used my left hand and purposely misspelled words, wrote some letters backwards and the grammar was horrendous.

During line up (briefing, roll call or what ever you want to call it) our shift Sergeant would see our motorcycles parked in the PD parking lot. She'd ask Philosophical Al if he had gotten his M1 endorsement. Of course Al would take his pen out of his uniform shirt pocket and tap his badge and say "See this. This badge ain't made of tin." We'd all get a good chuckle out of his little statement.

Much to my surprise I was selected for an alternate motor position and thus began the turn in my law enforcement career of a patrol officer prankster to a part time motor officer prankster.

The police motorcycle operations school was fun, although I did get sick and tired of orange cones. 80 hours of slow speed turns and 40 mph deceleration drills.

After graduating from motor school, I resumed my weekend graveyard shift and no I wasn't wearing the "boots" but I was wearing my MOTOR WINGS! You betcha! I had earned that darned thing I was going to wear it.

The Traffic Sergeant (who has since retired in Hawaii) allowed me to ride in the morning to conduct some traffic enforcement on the motor which I totally loved!

One night while working my shift I was contacted by my shift Sergeant. It was evaluation time.... no problem, lots of self initiated activity, loads of DUI arrests.

Enter the patrol officer into the Sergeant's office and the first words I hear her say in a surprised and shocked tone, "You don't have an M1!?" My reply, "Uh, yeah, so, aaah, this badge ain't made of tin?....." I was forbidden to do anymore enforcement on the motor until I had gotten my M1 endorsement. Of course I wholeheartedly agreed! But it sure sucked.

When the Traffic Sergeant came in, my Sergeant had told him about the lack of an M1 endorsement. Needless to say when I ended my shift and was walking toward the locker room we crossed paths.....

Traffic Sergeant: "I thought you had an M1!"
Me: "I did have one but I let it lapse."
Traffic Sergeant: "How the hell did you get through motor school without an M1?"
Me: "You don't need one. It says you only need required safety gear."
Traffic Sergeant: "Bull Shit!"
Me: "No really Sarge, just safety gear."

Well he checked the POST (Peace Officer Standardized Training) website and looked up the motor school and was shocked that an M1 wasn't a requirement.

Luckily for me the Traffic Sergeant contacted the local DMV office and verified that my graduation certificate was enough to get the required M1 endorsement. He ordered me to take one of the motors just in case they made me take a riding proficiency test.

I walk into the local DMV office and contact the clerk my Traffic Sergeant had spoken with. I showed my motor school graduation certificate, had a new picture taken and given that temporary paper driver license with my M1 endorsement.

Later that year at our annual picnic, the officers I worked with made up a huge drivers license with an M1 and presented it to me.

So far, Al is still riding without an M1 because "This badge ain't made of tin."

California Peace Officers Memorial

2009-05-09T20:59:00.000-07:00

On Friday May 8, 2009, I was privileged to attend the California Peace Officers Memorial in Sacramento, CA. Myself and my motor partner whom I've worked the last 10 to 11 years with met up at a breakfast joint in Vacaville. That was our meeting point with the 6 strong motor unit from an adjoining Police Department.

So while we ate our hearty breakfasts' we noticed a Lieutenant, Sergeant and two Officers approaching the front door of the establishment. The front door happened to have some dark tint on it as one of the motor officers quickly went to the door and locked it. We all had a good laugh at their expense as they thought the business was closed (with a full parking lot) and turned to walk away. Of course we unlocked the door so they could have their fill of good food. Even on such a day, leave it to the motor officers to keep the humor going.

While I sat there eating my breakfast I could hear that familiar sound of "rolling thunder" as I watched groups of motor officers riding eastbound towards the State Capitol.

After breakfast we rode on I-80 eight deep making our own rolling thunder as car after car moved to the right to allow us to pass.

I along with my Sergeant and fellow motor partners met up at the CHP Academy in West Sacramento. At 9:00 AM sharp, the procession of police motorcycles and police vehicles began the slow ride / drive to the State Capitol. The police agencies who provide the traffic breaks to allow us an uninterrupted ride to the Capitol building always do an awesome job.

To see people standing along the streets with American flags, and signs of "thanks" as we slowly rode into downtown Sacramento is always an impressive sight. The mounted officers on horses were a sight to behold as we rode by.

Once arrived at the Memorial, our motors parked in neat rows we always bump into fellow colleagues whom we haven't seen for a while. It's kinda sad that on such a day old acquaintances and friendships are renewed.

The pipe and drum band began to play as we were all lined up along the walkway of the Capitol building. To see the family members of the fallen Officers being escorted by their fallen spouses Police Agency is somber. To watch their children be so strong and brave as they walk down with their parent, many wearing a Medal of Valor awarded to their fallen parent really brings home the sacrifice which these Officers made.

There walks a child who will miss all those memorable and important moments which would have been shared. As I watch this, I can feel a lump in my throat as I cannot even begin to imagine the heartache felt.

The fallen Officers names are read and added to the Memorial. I can hear the bagpipes playing Amazing Grace followed by the bugles playing Taps and then the 21 gun salute. We truly stand on hallowed ground as we honor the fallen Officers, their families, police agencies and friends.

As I stood there, I thought what a wonderful world it would be if we never added another fallen Officer's name to the Memorial, but thats not the world we live in. Hell I'd settle for just one year we didn't have to add someones name. It's too bad we live in a world where predators take advantage of the law abiding.....

....but thank god we have dedicated professionals who are willing to put themselves between those who need protecting from those who willingly do harm.

So you think you're special

2009-04-20T12:45:00.000-07:00

I cannot begin to tell you how many cars and very nice ones at that, that I've pulled over which have that convenient "11-99 Foundation" license plate frame.

They usually hand over their registration and insurance card in a little nifty 11-99 bi fold holder with a prominent gold badge on the front.

I've actually had several drivers open their wallets with a rectangular flat bronze 11-99 plaque which I've heard referred to as a "badge" conveniently located next to their driver license. On many occasions I've noticed a small CHP badge sticker on their driver license. I always ask "What's with the cute little kiddie badge sticker?"

I read on the Internet (not that everything on it is true) that an $1,800 donation gets you the license plate frame, registration holder and that nice bronze "badge".

The 11-99 Foundation is a great charitable organization which helps CHP families in their time of need. But don't think that the license plate frame, registration holder and bronze "badge" will get you out of a ticket for a violation you obviously committed by getting stopped by a cop.

Example: I'm sitting at one of my usual duck ponds and see this BMW racing westbound, passing traffic going the same direction. The posted speed limit is 40 mph. I get a speed reading of 63 mph. And wouldn't you know it, the driver is talking on their cell phone too. I get behind the BMW and I noticed the 11-99 Foundation license plate frame....

I stop the car and when I contact the driver, she's 17 years old and is a local. To make things short, of course she didn't know how fast she was going and she picked up her phone because it rang. She hands me this black vinyl registration and insurance bi fold case with a gold badge on it with you guessed it "11-99 Foundation".

I wonder how many times daddy was stopped and tried using the 11-99 Foundation juice card and was given a warning? Well daughter sure as hell thought that it was going to get her out of a ticket. NOT!

I ragged her for the speed and cell phone violations.

People, license plate frames, registration holders, badge stickers, bronze plaques representing badges will not get you out of a ticket with me. So it's no use flaunting it. You have a better chance of getting out of a ticket by being calm, mutually respectful and a good joke wouldn't hurt either.

To those people whom I've cited with their 11-99 memorabilia, most have been understanding and didn't cry one iota about getting a ticket. Then there are those who blame me for their bad driving habits and further state that they are not going to contribute anymore to the Foundation.

To you, I say "Fucking Whaa!" You give your fellow Foundation members a bad rap. What makes you better than anyone else driving on PUBLIC roads and exempt from the vehicle code laws and any enforcement action! NOTHING! That's what!

"Press hard, 3 copies Asshole!"

Farmer's Tan

2009-04-19T20:29:00.000-07:00

Today I had the opportunity to work 10 hours of overtime doing seatbelt enforcement thanks to a generous grant through the California Office of Traffic Safety. This is not the state wide "click it or ticket" campaign, but grant money for "spot checks".

The things that made working on a Sunday fun, besides the time and a half was the great weather (temp in the high 70's to low 80's) and of course all of the wonderful people I had the chance to "meet" today.

To see the surprise on their faces was priceless, with the added comment "I thought you guys didn't work weekends?" Of course the little voice in me wanted to say "We don't, your luck just sucks."

The only real downside (at least for me) is I tan pretty well even with that sunblock I apply to my arms, neck and face. Given that and we're not even into summer yet, I've got a killer farmer tan going on. Looks like a have a white t-shirt on when I have no shirt on.

I guess I shouldn't complain. Those Officers in patrol cars get that tan on the left arm and left side of their faces being the only area exposed to direct sunlight (If the window is down).

So to be able to spot a motor officer when he or she (yes girls do this too) is off duty is not very hard. You can tell them apart from everyone else by these subtle hints.

You'll more than likely see the pale skin around his or her eyes and temples from the sunglasses they wear (required safety equipment). If you look at their arms, you'll notice either a great tan or bad sunburn from the sleeve line to the wrists. The hands will usually be a little paler than the arms due to the gloves (once again required safety gear).

From the shirt collar up, yep either great tan or bad sunburn (I looked at myself in the mirror and realized where the term red neck came from).

Look for that ring of pale skin where the watch usually is too.

So remember this summer when you're driving around minding your own business, beware of the preying motor officer. During the summer be very wary when approaching areas of shade, like beneath trees, the shadows of walls or buildings, because that's where I'll be parked, waiting to meet you.

Guilty! Guilty!

2009-04-18T08:32:00.000-07:00

Once again I was faced with a child care dilemma and a traffic court appearance. My 7 year old can become quite impatient when doing something as boring as sitting in a courtroom.

So I came up with a plan to bring one of his favorite candy treats and give it to him only after court and only if he behaved.... Sounds like a good and simple plan.....

We arrived at the court house and surprisingly find a non reserved parking spot. Parking has always been a bitch there. So in we walk through the security screening area. It's a short jaunt from there to the department where traffic cases are heard. As we neared the hallway where the courtroom is located, all I can see is a sea of people (uniformed and not) standing in this tiny lobby area.

NOT A GOOD SIGN. I manage to squeeze down the hall and peer into the courtroom and see a temporary "sit in" Judge presiding. He's still on the 1:30 pm arraignment calendar. The 2:00 pm court trials didn't begin until 2:45 pm. The Judge who usually presides will many times have us out of his court room by 2:45. It always seems when the regular Judge takes a day off he always stacks up the traffic cases.

Here me and my 7 year old sit and he's becoming restless doing things like swinging his feet and kicking the seat back of the seat in front of him.

I look over and here I see him look back at me and roll his eyes! I wonder where he learned that from?... So around 3:30 I hear "Officer Two Wheel" I'm thinking, "Finally!" I stand up from my seat only to be told by the temp Judge that my traffic case has been moved upstairs in front of a criminal court Judge.

So my 7 year old is asking all the way up the stairwell "How come", "How much longer", "I'm tired", etc, etc. So before we walk in to the courtroom I tell junior I'll let him hold on to his candy treat, but not to eat it until we are out of the court house. In retrospect, what the hell was I thinking!! Giving a 7 year old his favorite treat and telling him not to open it!!!!!!

We take a seat in the courtroom and my traffic case is called shortly afterward. Myself and the defendant approach the bench and stand in front of the tables reserved for the prosecutor and defense. Now courtrooms are pretty quiet to begin with even when someone is speaking.

I'm giving my testimony as to the events which resulted in the ticket issued to the defendant when I can hear behind me, "Humph!" My first instinct was to turn around and give him the "eye" but I thought the Judge might take offense to me turning around while testifying.

So I continue giving my testimony and I hear a second and even louder "HUMPH!" I had just finished my testimony and turned around to look at my son, only to see his arms crossed on the seat back in front of him and he was giving me the "eye"!

I wink at him to try and bring his frustration level down and he replied with another "Humph!" I direct my attention to my front and continue to listen to the defendant when I hear the sound of candy wrapper being manipulated by his small devilish hands.

If I can hear that crinkling candy wrapper sound, I know the Judge can hear it too. I even saw the court reporter look toward my son as he was prematurely unwrapping that candy treat.

The Judge had some clarifying questions for me and after all was said and done, he found the driver guilty. The next unfamiliar part of having a traffic case heard in a criminal court is they didn't know how much the fine was supposed to be and had to call down to the traffic court to find out.

The defendant left the courtroom ahead of me. I turned around thanking God that I didn't receive a stern admonishment from the Judge for my son's behavior. Let me tell you, Judges have a way of talking to you to make you feel like a little kid again getting your ass chewed by your dad.

My son and I are walking down the aisle between the chairs when I heard the Judge say "Officer, can you hold up a minute?" Like I'm going to tell this guy who wields some tremendous authority and power second only to the person who rules behind St. Peter's pearly gates and say the word "No".

I turn around and replied "Absolutely your Honor." I'm expecting to get the ass chewing of my life for my son's antics in his courtroom. And now follows the short dialog between Your Honor and me;

Judge; "Is that your son?"
2WT; "Yes he is."
Judge addressing my son; "What's your name son?"
My son; "2WT Jr."
Judge; "How old are you?"
My son; "Seven"
Judge; "Come on over here." as the Judge motioned my son to come behind the bench next to him.

I watch my son walk around the bench and stand next to the Judge. The Judge got up out of his chair and directed my son to have a seat. Of course my son jumps on this opportunity and climbs up into the Judges chair. The Judge handed him his gavel and asked him, "Do you have anything to say to your Dad?"

I watched my son look at me as the Judge told him where to swing that gavel. My son stared straight in my eyes and said loudly "GUILTY! GUILTY" and pounded that gavel. Myself, the Judge, court reporter and bailiff all had a good laugh about that.

Needless to say I was very relieved that it wasn't the impending ass chewing I thought.

Before my son jumped out of the Judges chair, I watched the Judge reach for something behind his bench and handed a piece of candy to him.

Paybacks a Bitch

2009-04-16T20:25:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I walked into the court room where all of the traffic cases are heard. My partner Juan Jalisco had arrived just minutes earlier. The Judge who presides over traffic matters is a great guy. Most of us Traffic Gurus (Traffic Nerds to others) have known him for years. Also present in this court room was none other than Motor Cop.

I'd say we all have a good rapport with him. He was asking Juan Jalisco about these whistle lanyards we wear. He had never seen them before and inquired of Juan what it was and why. So Juan explained how the whistle lanyard makes it easier to retrieve you whistle from your shirt pocket and when your momentarily done with it you can let it hang from you shirt epaulet.

Try directing traffic at a major intersection without one and you'll have a greater appreciation for that small piece of metal after you lose your voice yelling at motorists.

Well I open the closet door where all of the local agencies keep their traffic and engineering surveys in. These are also referred to as speed surveys or traffic surveys. So while I'm standing in this closet removing the survey I need for the roadway I used my LIDAR on, I overheard the Judge ask Juan Jalisco, "Does he have one of those lanyards too?" knowing well he was referring to me.

The next words I heard spoken from the Judge was "Excuse me Officer, I don't mean to call you out of the closet." Needless to say all had a good chuckle over that. He does have a good sense of humor. I guess it was payback for an incident which happened many, many years ago when I was a patrol officer in his town working the midnight shift.

It came out as a suspicious circumstance with an unattended vehicle left parked in the middle of a roadway, engine running and no occupants. This was a two lane roadway at the outskirts of town with a large field and fenced off cattle.

I roll up to the scene and have dispatch run the license plate out as I exited my patrol car and walked toward the van. I noticed the interior dome light was on, with the driver door open and engine running.

The dispatcher told me that the registered owner information was sent to the computer in the patrol car. As I looked around I heard a voice yell out from a field near the roadway, "Officer, that's my car." I then see this solitary person standing beneath this wooden pole with a light attached to it.

As this person walked toward me I noticed he had an object in his right hand and could see that part of that object protruded from his hand in the shape of a barrel. Not really knowing what the object was, but I was thinking GUN, I nonchalantly placed my gun side leg back and gently placed my hand on the grip of my duty weapon and unsnapped the holster as a precaution.

This person saw me move my gun side leg back and place my right hand on my duty weapon as he threw the object from his hand and yelled "Don't shoot! Its me, Judge So and So. I then recognized his voice and walked toward him. What he had thrown down to the ground was a hammer.

The Judge was running for superior court and was placing election signs for his campaign in this field. Needless to say the next few court appearances when I stood at the podium to testify, he'd ask, "Shot anyone lately?" or "Pulled your gun on any Judges recently?"

He was a good sport about it.

Now its my turn to be a good sport also. I'll have to let him know that it sure was a heck of a long time for payback.

Salty what!?

2009-04-14T20:31:00.000-07:00

Numerous years ago when I was assigned to the Field Operations Bureau (Patrol Division) in my last department, I chose to work the weekend graveyard shift.

Why? Because it's a lot of fun and usually at the expense of the local citizenry who just can't seem to manage their lives without us, the police becoming involved.

I worked with a great group of people and our Sergeant would let us do our jobs and not micro manage us.

Typically after we had broken up some bar fights and arrested a few drunk drivers, it would usually become slow and manageable. Due to the early hour of the morning, there were few places open. Thank God for 24 hour gas stations with those food marts. You could always count on a hot cup of coffee, 24 -7.

This particular food mart had these magnetic signs letting customers know what items were sold in that isle. I noticed these were simple magnetic signs. As I took a drink from my coffee cup I saw that one of the signs read "salt / meat snacks".

Leave it to cops to always find humor in things, such as funny magnetic signs. I removed the sign, walked out to my patrol car and opened the trunk. I removed some black electrical tape from some of the car's wiring and changed the sign to read "salty meat snacks".

I stuck the magnetic sign on my beat partner's patrol car trunk so you could read it if you were stopped behind him. I let him drive around the rest of the shift like that. Of course I told him about it at our last "coffee break" of the shift.

My beat partner had a great sense of humor. I sure hated to see him leave for another department. Fresno PD sure got a great guy.

What the F...!?

2009-04-09T20:02:00.000-07:00

I was in the parking lot in front of a building which comprises several buildings in a business park doing my usual thing, writing a ticket to someone. There was nothing that made this traffic stop any different from the many others that I do throughout the day with drivers who own up to their bad driving habits.

So off goes that driver, not so happily. I'm standing at the rear of my motor writing my notes on the back of my copy of the citation. I had just finished my notes, closed up my citation book and placed it into the saddle bag.

I get on the motor and fire it up. I cleared the traffic stop via radio. I all of a sudden see about 35 to 40 people wearing white lab coats come running out of the building, yelling and screaming into the parking lot.

Due to the recent shootings of civilians, our struggling economy, people losing their jobs and becoming disgruntled, my first thought was "Oh shit, I've got an active shooter situation!" For those not familiar with the term "active shooter" think Columbine High School. That was an active shooter situation.

I keep a small satchel in my saddle bag which has a shoulder strap. This satchel is referred to as a "go bag". I keep six full extra 15 round 40 caliber magazines in there, along with a bottle of water and some energy bars for that "Oh shit" situation. This is in addition to the one ammo magazine in my duty weapon, and the two on my duty belt.

My motor partners refer to it as my "murse" or "man purse"

I quickly rode over to a person closest to where I was parked and asked them what was going on after I requested an additional unit to start my way (just in case).

This person was kind enough to tell me it was an Easter egg hunt put on by their employer. I then noticed all of these people checking through the bushes and holding up plastic Easter eggs. So I cancelled the additional patrol unit which had started my way.

He rolled up shortly afterwards as I explained the situation to him. We both had a good laugh about it, but it easily could have been that "Oh shit" situation.

I'm thankful it wasn't.

The fight is on!

2009-04-06T22:26:00.000-07:00

A while back when I worked in the Town where Motor Cop uses my old call sign, we used to meet up for coffee with the motors from South City.

I was working my usual duck pond, picking off unsuspecting motorists and gladly issuing them an invitation to the local traffic court, especially since this roadway had an elementary school, fire station, preschool and two elderly assisted living facilities. It seemed that drivers had a very difficult time matching the numbers on their speedometers to the black and white regulatory speed limit signs along the side of the road.

So my motor partner rolls up and tells me the fellas from South City were going to meet at a local coffee shop for "training". My motor partner scoots off in a hurry when he catches a speeder headed westbound. While I sat there minding my own "bidness", I see this white compact car go zooming eastbound way over the posted speed limit of 35.

While I placed the LIDAR (laser radar) in my saddle bag, I noticed speedy make a lane change without using his blinker and caused the vehicle he moved in front of to use their brakes.

Bam, I fire up the Harley and I'm off like a prom dress! Man those screaming eagle pipes were loud. So I caught up to the violator and turn on the flashing lights and hit my siren several times to get his attention.

The car pulls into the parking lot of the elementary school and comes to a stop. I called out the traffic stop in via radio as I followed the car into this parking lot. I notified my dispatcher with the routine information of the vehicle's license plate and location of the traffic stop.

I contacted the driver who was 22 years old, got his information, told him why I had stopped him and asked the usual questions, "Do you how fast you were driving?", "Do you know the posted speed limit on the roadway?", "Did you realize you didn't use your turn signal when you changed lanes in front of that car?"

I'm pretty straight forward on my traffic stops, before I walk away from the driver door I tell them that I will be issuing a citation for the violation(s).

Now anytime a police car or police motorcycle makes a traffic stop, you always get the attention of passersby. Well in this case I had an audience of parents waiting to pick their children up from school.

As I stepped back from the door way, turned around and began walking toward my Harley, I heard the driver open his door as he said "Oh no you're not!"

I immediately spun around as the driver stood in front of me. I asked the driver to get back into his car. He of course refused as he told me he was not speeding. I now told the driver to get back into his car. Back in my police academy days we were taught, ASK - TELL - TAKE.

Well I already "asked", I just "told" and the driver still refused. So as we stood there, he was half my age, slightly taller, and had the stupidity to get out of his car, and fail to obey a lawful order.

I'm old school, I wasn't going to be mister polite police officer. The Town's inhabitants for the most part are pretty decent people, but unfortunately too many of them have a sense of entitlement. It's okay to take enforcement action so long as it isn't against them.

So back to the "old school" comment. They give us wonderful tools to use, baton, pepper spray (this incident happened before I carried my TASER). But the old school part of me from working many years of the graveyard shift, breaking up bar fights thought, "This Fucker wants to dance." With that thought in mind I for sure was going to lead.

So as our audience became very interested in our dialog, I noticed his body tense up, hands balled into fists as he took a bladed fighting stance. Things we are trained to detect and knowing that a fight is about to happen. The large group of parents who were watching weren't trained to look for these subtle body language changes.

I took the initiative as the driver began to move in towards me with a closed fist punch to his face. Down to the ground he went, but not before grabbing my uniform shirt and taking me with him.

So on the ground we were, me trying to keep his hands in sight and away from my gun. He punched several times hitting my helmet. I punched back numerous times as he cried out "That's my blood! I began to hear the parents talking police brutality, unprovoked attack, excessive force, etc.

I'm not one to really give a shit to what Joe Citizen is saying about me and the driver fighting on the ground. I tell ya, but you punch some mother fucker to overcome his resistance and these entitled fucking know-it-alls begin talking police brutality! I learned one good thing this day, after pinning his hands down, the helmet is an excellent tool for head butting.

This driver was equally as strong as I couldn't get his hand behind his back to handcuff it. The entire time we were on the ground, I kept ordering him to stop resisting. He got to the point where he was no longer actively resisting against me, but the two of us were pretty winded as this wrestling match went on for about three to four all-out physical minutes.

In that time, my dispatcher was trying to reach me via radio asking my status. The dispatcher was on top of her game as I didn't respond, she immediately requested a unit to check on me at the location I had broadcasted earlier. During our struggle I was able to get the driver onto his stomach and kept him on the ground pinned by holding both of his arms.

When Idiot driver was foolish enough to try and head butt my helmet, I used my forearm to smash his face into the parking lot asphalt. Flesh does not hold up well to asphalt.

Due to the radio set up we had, all I had to do was push the mic button on my duty belt and speak into the boom mic on my helmet. I requested Code 3 cover as I momentarily took my hand from the driver to depress the mic button. Thankfully he was more tired than I was.

All I could do was to continue to keep the driver pinned as I heard the sweetest sound I've ever heard.... the sound of respond officers motorcycle and car sirens. The best vision I've had doing this job was when I saw one of the South City motors roll up, dismount and run towards me and take the driver into custody.

By the time I stood up, I saw county patrol units, Town units, CHP unit, and South City units present. To this day, I'm thankful for the response of the Officers and Deputies.

I later spoke to the Detective for this case. The perception of the public was sickening. Just about all saw the driver exit his car and thought I was not justified by punching him before going to the ground and thought it excessive with the continued punches as we were on the ground.

This ADULT, who freely exited his car and refused to obey the lawful orders given to him to get back into his car cried to mommy and daddy. Of course the Town being full of affluent people including his parents who believed that their son was single handedly pick upon by the police, hired a prominent defense attorney who had a local office.

Mommy and Daddy were quick to retain this prominent defense attorney, and voice complaints to the Town PD Chief of Police, the County Sheriff and to anyone else who would probably have listened.

When the Chief of Police first heard about this incident, he immediately thought the driver's parents had a valid bitch. The detective investigating this incident had the balls to tell the Chief that he'd better listen to the digital audio recording.

Yep, digital audio recording. I record all of my traffic stops, and this one really paid off! The parents were told to go pound sand, the attorney heard the recording and dropped his client and me, I continued to work in the Town for a while longer. The Chief's attitude about believing that one of his officer's, me had crossed the line before listening to any evidence first was an insult.

It was soon after this incident that I left the Town PD and began another chapter in my career with the South City Police Department.

I never did get to have that cup of coffee.

Thank You

2009-04-06T07:33:00.000-07:00

As of lately complete strangers have approached myself and my motor partners just to say "Thanks" and to shake hands. It's really very kind of them to take the time to say such a simple and kind word.

Although we do this job and expect nothing in return other than we will finish our shift safely and return home to our family's, we really do appreciate your kind words and condolences.

Let me tell you of a couple of examples of the kindness we have received in our community. Most cops like coffee, be it Starbucks or Peete's (myself, I'm just as happy with Chevron coffee - it's an old graveyard shift habit). We usually grab our morning cup of coffee at one of our Starbucks locations and then sit out of public view (unfortunately because of some "anonymous" citizen had made a complaint).

After our coffee we walked back to our motors only to find a Starbucks gift card on each of them.

Another example was the day of the Oakland Officers Services. One of the local businesses where we are located knew that we were involved with the Oakland Police Department on conducting traffic control (blocking intersections) as the Oakland PD police detachment escorted the body of one of the slain officer's from the mortuary to the highway and the subsequent attendance for the services of all four officers.

Later in the day we returned to our office only to find two coolers filled with ice cold drinks for us. The person who did this, Chris, is a businessman and a resident of Oakland.

I spoke with him later and he had mentioned how he was outraged at the events, and about how the City of Oakland has been stereotypically labelled a city of criminals. I understand how he feels. Chris is an example of the many good people who chose Oakland as their home, just as each of us has chosen our own communities.

So for all the recent acts and words of kindness, I want to say "Thank You" to all of you.

Chris, "Thanks"

What's Happening to Our Society and World?

2009-04-05T11:37:00.000-07:00

I write this post after reading the Sunday paper. I think I'll just keep to reading the travel section, funnies and my library of classic literature. Why, you might ask? Good news doesn't sell papers or boost television news station ratings is a pretty good reason.

I guess the general public wouldn't want to watch or read breaking headlines such as, "Bessie, yellow Labrador gives birth to litter of eight!", or "Intersection at Main St and 1st St upgraded with traffic light: The only stop sign in Town replaced.", or how about "Suzy sells record number of Girl Scout cookies."

So what is wrong with our society? It's as if nobody stops to help when they see a car stranded on a roadside, heaven forbid if they witness a traffic collision and think about stopping to see if anyone was injured or stay as a witness to the events or when they're witness to a felony crime and think that it isn't their civic duty to come forward.

Last month the Law Enforcement profession lost four brave Oakland Police Officers. Since that tragedy, some pissed off loser, Jiverly Wong in Binghamton, New York walked into a classroom at the American Civic Association, which teaches English to immigrants, and helps them prepare for their U.S. citizenship test and murdered 13 innocent people.

At least he had the balls to kill himself.

While I continued to peruse the Sunday paper the headline, "Gunman kills three officers in Pennsylvania" hit me like a brick since the Oakland Police Department tragedy.

In this case, a loser by the name of Richard Poplawski was laying in wait for officers after his mother dialed 911 about a domestic dispute at their home. Shit bag Poplawski was wearing a ballistic vest and had an assault rifle.

The first Police Officers on scene were Paul Sciullo III and Stephen Mayhle. As they arrived at the home, they were met by the doorway by Shit bag Poplawski who immediately shot Officer Sciullo in the head, killing him. Officer Mayhle was standing behind Officer Sciullo and was also murdered by a shot to the head.

Officer Eric Kelly who had just completed his night shift and soon to be on his way home, heard the call of Officers down and immediately responded to the scene, only to be gunned down by Poplawski.

Those who don't work in Law Enforcement, public safety, or the military probably wouldn't understand the selflessness of our actions to come to the aid of a fellow law enforcement officer even if it meant putting our own lives in harms way.

Shit bag Poplawski held at bay the responding officers of the Pittsburgh Pennsylvania Police Department for a period of four hours as Officers Sciullo, Mayhle and Kelly lay bleeding on the ground.

A fourth Officer, Timothy McManaway was shot and wounded in his hand.

Officers at the scene eventually came up with a plan of rescue. These Officers put their lives on the line to rescue Officers Kelly and McManaway. Shit bag Poplawski could have opened fire on these rescuing Officers causing more injury or death. These Officers felt it more important that they go after their brothers than their own personal safety.

Shit bag Poplawski's survival was due to him wearing a ballistic vest. That city / county will now be faced with spending tax payer money on his incarceration, trial and defense, lengthy prison term if found guilty. Pennsylvania has the death penalty and hopefully after his trial he will receive the just punishment he deserves.

The term "criminal justice", think about it... it's absolutely true. The only justice it seems that is given is to the criminals. There is very little justice for victims and their family's. I can only hope that this penalty is imposed upon Poplawski quickly, very quickly.

The restraint these Officers demonstrated when Poplawski was captured after murdering three of their own and wounding a fourth is a testament to their honesty and integrity. I'm sure there were many thoughts going through the officers minds of pumping a few slugs into Poplawski's head and saying he committed suicide or death by lead poisoning.

I'm an avid supporter of Article II (commonly referred to as the 2nd Amendment) of our Constitution which states that "A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed."

I own guns of which some are in my home. This being said, I question the need of everyday citizens to own assault rifles. Assault rifles are not hunting rifles, they are designed for one purpose, killing soldiers, not our citizens and Police Officers of our great country.

So for those of you who read this post and if the kind headlines which I mentioned above are common place in your local newspaper, I envy you. And if such a place does indeed exist, please be kind enough to leave a comment for me. I'm looking for a new place to call home in five years when I retire. I would truly enjoy living in a community where the smaller, usually unnoticed things in life are significant. I would like to spend the remainder of my days in a place where people do not maliciously do harm to their neighbors.

I offer my sincere appreciation for Officers Paul Sciulla III, Stephen Mayhle, and Eric Kelly, that they chose a profession where they unselfishly protected the citizens of Pittsburgh Pennsylvania. God Bless You and may you all rest in peace.

My heartfelt condolences to the families of the fallen officers and to the Pittsburgh, PA Police Department for their tremendous loss.

And for Officer Timothy McManaway, may you have a speedy and complete recovery of your wounds.

In our profession, losing one is too many. We've been hit hard as of lately. We won't quit doing the good we do on a daily basis. Cowards such as Jiverly Wong, Richard Poplawski, and yes Lovelle Mixon will not deter us from protecting the public we all have freely sworn to protect.

We will continue to patrol the streets of our Cities, Towns, Counties and Parishes and seek out those who are a menace to all law abiding people. We will do so with even more conviction of heart and yes, more cautiously.

On the lighter side

2009-03-30T20:38:00.000-07:00

Although the events in Oakland are still fresh in our minds I thought I might relate an event which occurred last Thursday which shows how much we look out for each other, regardless of the department we work for or what color our uniform is.

I had just rolled into the station when I heard our dispatcher on our channel relay a Code 3 cover request for the California Highway Patrol for a motor officer who had made a traffic stop in South City and the CHP dispatcher was not able to raise him on the radio.

Our dispatcher calmly put out the last known location of where the CHP officer had made his traffic stop. So I head out of the parking lot with lights and siren blaring and headed to the broadcasted location. North Town also had officers on the way.

We arrived at the location of the traffic stop only to spot one of our motor officers there. Of course you can imagine the surprise on his face with us motors and patrol units arriving with lights and sirens on. Naturally he asked "What's going on?" We kindly told him of the Code 3 cover request for a CHP motor at this location.

Our motor officer began to laugh saying he had just finished having a conversation with that CHP motor officer. Apparently the CHP motor officer as well as the South City motor officer had their radios turned way down to the point neither one of them could hear anything being broadcast.

The CHP motor who was "missing" saw a couple of South City patrol units being led by a motor and thought there might have been a bad traffic collision. The CHP motor officer immediately turned around and followed the units traveling Code 3. In talking with him later he was telling himself that he hoped it wasn't one of us South City motor cops that was injured.

So there we all stood as the CHP motor rolls up asking what was going on. Needless to say we all had a good laugh about it. It was very reassuring to see so many motors and patrol cars from South City and North Town there.

The CHP motor is really a good guy. He lives in South City and we're always crossing paths, even having coffee together. Will we let him live this incident down? Probably.... but at least not for a while.

EOW (End of Watch)

2009-03-27T21:26:00.000-07:00

Today was a beautiful day in the bay area. Clear skies, cool, gentle breeze, flowers in bloom and trees budding. What a great Friday with everybody ready for the weekend.

With the exception for the 18,000 plus Public Safety Professionals... Law Enforcement Officers, Firefighters, Dispatchers, Paramedics, Emergency Medical Technicians. In addition to this number, add the countless people from all over the United States and around the world who joined us in their own way to grieve with us.

The Oakland Police Department has suffered a tremendous loss of four highly dedicated men. The Oakland Police Department will persevere and continue to protect the citizens of Oakland. They will go about performing their jobs as we all will. This loss of these four Heroes goes beyond the Oakland Police Department.

The unimaginable loss of a Husband, Father, Brother, Son, Uncle, and Best Friend, how could any of us comprehend the pain which their families and friends must be feeling? This loss extends itself to the citizens of Oakland, to our profession, our society.

Impressive was the sight of the number of Officers, patrol cars, and yes, the motors. The motors parked in neat rows, chrome sparkling in the sunshine, helmets posted on the right mirror, impressive.

Impressive, the distance Police Agencies in cars and motors traveled to honor OPD's finest, the Fire Engines and Ladder Trucks parked on the freeway overpasses rendering their smart salutes as processions of police cars and police motorcycles rumbled on highway 880 toward the Oakland Arena, impressive.

The heart felt words spoken by friends, and colleagues on behalf of the families of the fallen Officers. The heart felt words spoken by Sgt. Sakai's brave sister as she held back her tears were a vivid reminder of how great their loss is, was, and will be.

We are not unlike many people, we have our strengths and faults. We put our pants on one leg at a time. We are ordinary people doing an extraordinary job. We in our profession have what criminals lack. We have integrity, honesty, bravery, compassion, empathy and yes, camaraderie as evident by today's services.

To those who rejoice in our tragedy, when you become a victim of a crime and you dial 911, we, yes we, who you despise will be there in your time of need or in time of need for one of your loved ones.

What was witnessed today is that when good men die, other good men are ready and willing to step up and take their place and resume the good that we do in our profession. We keep society safe from the predators of good, honest, hardworking people.

The fact that Lovelle Mixon deservedly lost his life his for cowardly acts is consoling, it doesn't lessen our sorrow.

A Dark Day for the Thin Blue Line

2009-03-22T20:56:00.000-07:00

I've read several blogs written about the four Oakland Police Officers murdered in the line of duty. I first heard about it from a telephone call from my sister as I was driving down Interstate 5. The information received was sparse and sketchy to say the least. When I arrived home late last night I had a message on my cell phone from my motor partner about the Officers.

I was shocked, angry, outraged and sad all at once as I watched the news story on television and read today's newspaper. The only consolation was the fact that Lovelle Mixon won't waste our tax money on what would have been his incarceration before trial, defense, jury trial, lengthy state prison term for life or the time spent in prison before all of his appeals would have been used up prior to the death penalty he hopefully would have received.

To the sympathetic Pieces of Shit who cheered the deaths of these Honorable Officers as detectives were on scene investigating this crime, and jeered the Officers who did their job and eliminated the threat of taking out that fuck stick Mixon. The next time you become a victim of a crime, you handle your own shit.

I was told by a non law enforcement friend, "Man I wouldn't want your job no matter how much it paid."

We don't choose this career to get rich. Why do we then? Is it a calling? I'm not sure I'm qualified to say why we do, but can say why I did. The fact that there are cruel and dangerous predators out there who are stalking their prey, who believe in lawlessness and have no regard for human life or just life for that matter, who's going to stop them?, who's going to protect the public?

Us, yes, us, those of us who feel that in our careers we do and did make a difference in society, helped that one soul from going down the wrong road. Us who chose an honorable profession to make this world a better place to live in. We get bashed from all sides, our retirement is too lavish. Lavish! How much is your life worth? A five or six digit salary?

After a 20 or 30 year career, most Officers pay a high price for their "Public Service" on a personal level.

Those Oakland Police Officers paid the ultimate price to protect the public. The same public which has groups which slander them, spit upon them, and believe that those of us who wear the badge are not a necessity for society.

You won't see the families of the fallen Officers protesting about their loved ones being murdered and making it a racial issue. You won't see John Burris, the attorney representing the family of Oscar Grant III suing the parents of Lovelle Mixon for wrongful death on behalf of the Officers families.

I've heard and been told that "You picked your line of work and the dangers that come with it." Yeah okay I did pick this profession and have accepted the inherent dangers as well as my friends and family have. So these fucking loser parolees, and career criminals, they chose their way of making a living and I would imagine the inherent dangers which come with their life style. So why the big ruckus when one of these scum sucking low life's is killed?

Lets face it, Lovelle Mixon was not going to be a Nobel Laureate, nor was he going to find the cure for cancer. He was a piece of shit who should have been flushed down the shit hole of society long ago. The world is a better place with him gone.

So to honor these slain Police Officers, I along with others will be attending their services to remember them, their sacrifice, and to honor their families.

To the Oakland Police Department, and to the families of the slain Police Officers our hearts and prayers are with you.

To all who wear the Badge of Honor whether they be a star or shield, stay safe.

Rest in Peace, Sergeant Mark Dunakin - Motor Sergeant, Officer John Hege - Motor Officer, Sergeant Erv Romans - SWAT Member, and Sergeant Dan Sakai - SWAT Member.

Oxymoron

2009-03-18T16:34:00.000-07:00

We've all heard the numerous oxymoron's like "military intelligence", and "close proximity". I saw another one the other day while riding down the interstate. It was on a billboard advertising for employment opportunities for the CDC (California Department of Corrections).

For those of you who are fortunate or unfortunate enough to live in California, CDC is the agency who run the state prisons in the golden state.

As I drove by the billboard I noticed CDCR and read the following in parenthesis "California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation".

Rehabilitation!? What fucking liberal came up with that?

My idea of rehabilitation is a single, 9mm, 38 cal, 40 cal, 45 cal slug to the head.... more air for us. Now that's rehabilitation with a guarantee!

SURPRISE!!!!

2009-03-17T16:56:00.000-07:00

Many moons ago I worked the weekend graveyard shift, 6:30 pm to 7:00 am, Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights. I had a great group of beat partners which made work fun. There were several bars along the main street which would keep us plenty busy. Those several bars also became our great customer base for DUI drivers.

So every Friday and Saturday night we'd see who could "hook" (arrest) the first DUI driver of the night. We'd always set the goal for a "trifecta" meaning all three of us graveyard officers would each hook a DUI driver. Needless to say we had our Friday and Saturday night trifectas more times than not.

DUI drivers, I was always happy to get them off of the roads which you, I, and our families use. If they were involved in a traffic collision or were on probation for a prior DUI or DUI reduced to a "wet reckless", or their BAC (blood alcohol count) was higher than .15%, it was an automatic trip to the county lock-up.

Sunday nights were typically awfully slow. We'd use Sunday night to catch up on our paper (arrest reports and such) as we prepared for our 4 days off. Sunday is a busy day for those ass wipes which prowl around our communities and check cars for unlocked doors so they could rip off what ever contents "Joe Citizen" was stupid enough to leave in plain view.

I'd use Sunday night's to look for these ass wipes who were out driving around looking for people to rip off. As stupid as Joe Citizen was, he or she didn't deserve to have their belongings taken from them.

The place where I worked was very easy to spot these ass wipes. In a place were the normal car driving around town was some German import such as a Mercedes Benz, BMW or other high end car, you'd see a beat up Saturn cruising around the neighborhoods.

I'd run the plate of the vehicle and lo and behold, it was from a less desirable city within the county or sometimes an adjoining county. It wouldn't be hard to develop some probable cause to pull a piece of shit car over. Not surprisingly the driver and occupants would usually be on some type of searchable probation or on parole.

Well after requesting a back up patrol unit to respond so I could search the car. I'd pull the occupants out one at a time, search them, and then have them take a seat on the curb. After my cover officer would arrive, I'd methodically "rip" the car's interior, trunk and even the engine compartment. We'd also check out the places where we believed if these ass wipes were clever enough to have a hidden compartment.

I'd always search cars while wearing rubber surgical gloves. The cover officer typically wouldn't. I don't know what it is about "cranksters", "tweakers" or what ever you want to call them, and dildos, yes you heard me right.....DILDOS. I'm talking cars with just guys in it and the driver happens to be the registered owner. Those are some sick mother fuckers.

So me being me, I holler over to my beat partner and tell him "check this out" as I'd toss the dildo to him. Of course not really knowing what it was, he'd instinctively reach out with both of his un-gloved hands and catch the rubber phallus.

It was always really good for a laugh. Of course there was always payback. The last time someone said "Hey check this out" and tossed something my way, I'd let it hit the ground before I'd look at the item.

Too bad it was dude's glass bong. I hear those things can be expensive.

A couple that argues together....

2009-03-05T10:02:00.000-08:00

Several years ago working as a motor officer with my previous agency, my motor partner whom I still work with at my current agency in the same capacity used to run radar on a particular frontage road which paralleled the freeway. This road would become a speed way when the traffic on the freeway became too congested.

So there I was parked beneath a shady Elm tree by a driveway patiently waiting for the salmon run to begin. It didn't take long as I spotted this SUV which looked to be exceeding the posted speed limit. With my handy-dandy LIDAR I get a speed reading of 66 mph, 21 mph over the speed limit.

I placed the LIDAR in my motor's right saddle bag and take off after the violator. I get behind the SUV and turn on my emergency lights and a few blasts of the siren to get the driver's attention. He pulls into a parking lot of some town homes along the roadway.

I contact the driver who obviously has no clue as to why I stopped him. While I'm telling him he was stopped for speed, the driver's wife just lets into him. She sure had a potty mouth. Her colorful, sailor like vocabulary brought me back to my old Navy days back in the P.I. (Philippine Islands).

Her ass chewing became so bad that the driver asked me if he could get out of his car. "No" I told him. "you need to remain inside your vehicle." As I scratched out a rag for the speeding driver, I looked over at him and saw that he had his arms on the steering wheel with his head down.

I thought that I would relish this moment as she continued her colorful endearing words for her hubby by taking my time to write the ticket. Needless to say, it was one of the neatest, legible printing I have done on a ticket (tell me your in a hurry and I'll give you a nice, legible ticket too).

So by the time I walk back up to the driver door, I'm half expecting the driver to asked for a self committal 72 hour psychological evaluation. He signs the ticket and I give him his copy. As I walked back toward my motor, I turned around when I heard the SUV door open.

The driver told me that he was just changing places with his wife as she was going to be the responsible driver. So off the happy couple go driving off into the sunset in marital bliss.

I'm standing there next to my motor and writing my notes on the back of my copy of the ticket just in case this guy decides to exercise his right to a personal appearance. I hear my motor partner on the radio. He was parked about a half mile down the same frontage road.

I'm not paying real close attention to his radio traffic until I hear him call out the license plate. It sounded so familiar. I turned my ticket over and saw that it was the same license on the vehicle I had just cited. The Dispatcher was on top of her game as she informed my motor partner the vehicle was just stopped by me and it was clear in the system.

Payback is a bitch as I later learned that Hubby was using his best colorful descriptives of his wife for being stopped for speeding.

They never did exercise their right for a personal appearance at our local court. It would have been funny to have both Hubby and Wifey in court as defendants driving the same vehicle on the same day, same roadway and getting a ticket by the only two motor officers with this police agency.

The "reverse"

2009-03-04T16:27:00.000-08:00

When I first started in law enforcement I worked for a Sheriff's Department. In this department all deputies start their careers off by working the jails. Not a fun place to work. You had to make it fun, usually, well always at the expense of some criminal.

One of the not so fun tasks we had to routinely perform was to strip search criminals before giving them their jail clothes. We used these two small rooms which always stunk of bare feet and ass, what a combination. It is very shocking to the senses especially because most criminals have an allergy to soap and water.

The typical strip search went as follows; put them into the room and hand them an empty clothing bag. You'd tell them to place all of their clothes in the bag and when that was finished they were to hang it on the exterior door knob.

We would then enter the room with the door slightly open and have them standing in the nude facing us. We'd direct them to hold up their arms to make sure they weren't concealing drugs in their armpits. Next we'd tell them to open their mouths and lift their tongue and make sure they weren't concealing contraband in there. Then it was time to lift their penis and scrotum to make sure those areas were drug free. We'd next tell them to turn around and show us the bottoms of their feet. The last step was to have them bend over at the waist, spread their butt cheeks and to cough. Supposedly if they were keestering any contraband up their ass, the coughing would cause it to fall out.

Once this was done we'd then hand them their jail clothes. When they were dressed they took a seat on a wooden bench then led to a holding cell until the intake housing unit could accommodate them.

More than once while working the booking area of the jail you'd run into a problem criminal that had an attitude. I found a very subtle way to get them back. I dubbed it the "reverse". The reverse was the strip search as mentioned above only done backwards.

I'd usually make them bend over several times to spread their ass cheeks and cough. I'd tell them it wasn't done properly and to do it again. They'd get so pissed of that they would literally claw at their ass cheeks and ass hole. Then they'd be directed to turn around and ordered to lift their penis and scrotum. Of course they couldn't do it right as they were told to repeat the process because they were not going with the program.

The last step was to have them open their mouth, place two or three fingers in at the sides and pull the cheeks of their mouths apart. After that was done I'd add the additional step of having them smacking their lips together several times. That would always get me a strange look from the criminal as they complied.

I would then exit the room and return with their jail clothes. Before I would exit the room to allow them to get dressed, I would turn and ask them, "By the way, how did your ass and balls taste?"

Problem criminal - a waste of taxpayers money.

Jail clothes - $60.00

Criminal placing his nasty fingers inside his mouth after groping his ass and balls and smacking his lips - priceless!

Stupid sons of bitches.

Motor Cop in a car

2009-03-03T08:33:00.000-08:00

Due to inclement weather, we're forced from two wheels onto four wheels. I get the whole safety aspect of this, but being in a car sure sucks. I guess one positive thing is the car stereo.

We have these dash cameras installed in all of the department's patrol cars. They record audio and video whenever the emergency lights are turned on in a Code 3 situation. So when we "bust" intersections they'll be recorded along with the vehicle's speed. Big Brother is watching......

Us motor cops really aren't too familiar with how this system works. We usually have one of the patrol guys explain how to set it up.

Needless to say, I get dispatched to a 11-79, cop talk for a traffic collision with an ambulance en route. It usually means injuries, but not always. Well this call just happened to be at the very south end of South City and the quickest way to get there is via the interstate.

I've got lights and siren going, slowing to make sure each intersection between the office and the interstate are clear before I drive through. Being a motor cop and making Code 3 runs on a motorcycle, although fun, is very dangerous and because we don't have all that metal around us and our real only protection is the brain buckets we wear other than real super defensive riding. This cautious approach to riding Code 3 also carries over to and makes good practice for a patrol car on a Code 3 run.

I think it would be a good experience for every cop to make a Code 3 run on a motor on busy city streets. It'll teach you to be more cautious if you're not and will truly give you an appreciation of all that metal around you, seat belt and airbag. It'll probably also convince you that motor cops must have some kind of death wish.

Riding is an addiction, I've been addicted since around 7 years old. Not a bad addiction when you consider all of the other types of addictions out there.

So I'm on the interstate with lights and siren blaring. The traffic was moderate as it was near the end of the morning salmon run (morning commute). All of the cars which were ahead of me yielded to the right as the law requires, but you know there has to be at least one idiot on the road and I was quickly catching up to him.

So this whole Code 3 run is being recorded audio and visually. So as I catch up to Jack Ass, I switch over to another siren pattern to try and get his attention. As the sounds of the different sirens doesn't appear to be getting his attention, I hit the horn button. Jack Ass is still oblivious to all the flashing LED lights, loud sirens, and horn.

I'm not going to pass to Jack Ass's right as he'll probably then yield to his right and two cars going "bump" is not a good thing at freeway speeds.

I finally see the right turn signal of Jack Ass's car come on and he slowly and finally moves to the right. As I passed Jack Ass I looked out my right front passenger window as he looked back at me.

Mouth over mind took over as I looked at him and yelled "Fucking Idiot" I don't know if Jack Ass could read my lips, but hey no harm, no foul.

The traffic collision turned out to be with minor injuries, no one going to the hospital which is always a good thing. My partner arrives on scene and tells me that I could replay the entire Code 3 run.

Oops, audio recording, slow Jack Ass who is clueless to all the flashing lights behind him, and mouth over mind. Yep, clear as day you could hear "Fucking Idiot".

Oh well, we'll see if the tapes are reviewed and scrutinized. Big Brother is watching and listening, very scary and that's coming from a cop....

Tourist Prop

2009-03-02T19:40:00.000-08:00

One fine day when working for my last agency, I was told that I had to ride into San Francisco to attend the AAA insurance company's DMV update. So who am I to pass up a nice ride into the city. It just so happened that Juan "eets no probleem" Jalisco was designated from his agency (the future agency I'd be working for) to attend this same meeting.

Of course we took off in plenty of time to take our time to get there. I guess this tends to lend some credibility to "motor training" being considered as an "OWOT" (Organized Waste Of Time), just a smidgen of credibility.

So Juan and I sat through the presentation, asked some questions, took some pamphlets to take back to our respective agencies. You'd think most people after leaving a meeting either head home if its the end of the day or to go back to work if its not..... right?..... yeah right, what ever......

Juan and I decided to extend our OWOT by riding around the city, we justified this as "tandem riding with allied agencies training". And of course it had to be organized as we had to decide our route through the city. You can't visit San Francisco without riding down Lombard Street and needless to say we felt the same way.

It was pretty funny, because a lot of the other motor cops which were at the earlier meeting were also at Lombard St. So Juan and I did our "tandem riding training" down the steep and windy street. Once to the bottom we parked our motors along the street. One of the motor officers from a south bay agency asked if I would take a picture of he and his partner as the did their "training" riding down tandem.

Of course I would and did. I made my ascent and hiked about half way up Lombard St and let me tell you, those motor boots ain't made for running, or walking up steep hills. So I snapped a few pictures as they rode by and made my decent back to where my motor was parked safe and sound because Juan was parked next to it.

I hand the motor officer his camera and they ride off having concluded their OWOT. I get down to the bottom of the street and I see a line of tourists besides my motor and a tourist SITTING on my motor. Us motor cops are very protective of our bikes. We could be involved in a traffic collision and the first thing we'd check on would be the condition of our motor, never mind that compound fracture of the arm or leg.

Juan stood their smugly as he was having his picture taken with a very cute Italian tourist, the punk. He justified the photo prop as "They all asked before they sat on it."

Well I was able to get back on my motor as I told the remaining tourists that Juan and I were on a break and needed to get back to the movie set for the film we were extras in.... hey it worked and I got my motor back.

Juan to this day won't tell me how much he made for letting tourists sit on my motor.

Well after all of that hard work, Juan and I rode down to Fisherman's Wharf. We decided to have lunch at Alioto's restaurant on Fisherman's Wharf. We parked our motors, not that its a hard thing to do with them being police motors.

We walked up to the restaurant entrance just as Mrs. Alioto was exiting. She saw the shoulder patch on my uniform shirt and asked what I was doing so far away from home as she lived in that small city. I told her we had attended some training here in San Francisco.

She asked who was watching the small city if I was all the way out here. I politely told her that I locked the gate before I left. She had a good laugh and told the restaurant general manager that lunch was on her. That was a very nice gesture of Mrs. Alioto.

Lunch was fantastic!

The natural order of things.....

2009-03-01T21:48:00.000-08:00

I had just witnessed the autopsy of an adult involved in a fatal collision one Saturday morning. I saw a detective buddy of mine walk into the room. We hadn't seen each other in a while. What a setting huh, corpses laying on stainless steel tables and were catching up on what's been happening.

He tells me he's here for the autopsy of a young woman who was hit along our local interstate highway and obviously killed. He told me the corpse's name and asked me if I recognized it. "Nope, why?" I replied. He went on to say that she had a local address in South City where I work.

Next to the female corpse was a male corpse. I noticed the male corpse looked familiar to me. I walked up to the gurney he was laid out on and said "Hey isn't this Joe Shitbag?" My detective buddy answered, "Sure is." I asked my detective buddy, how did Joe Shitbag, such a deserving person finally end up where he should have been years ago.

How did I come to know Joe Shitbag? Many, many moons ago I worked at the county jail where Joe Shitbag was a frequent guest. He shared the wealth of his visits with the California Department of Corrections (CDC) while doing state prison time. He was a methamphetamine addict or what we call a "tweaker" or "crankster".

Turns out Joe Shitbag received a small inheritance from some family member, mind you Joe Shitbag was in his early 40's. Joe Shitbag unfortunately couldn't kick his habit and was placed back into the caring hands of the CDC for a parole violation.

Joe's girlfriend, Suzy Crank-whore was 18 years old and obviously well onto the road of living off of us taxpayers. While Joe Shitbag was in prison, Suzy spent his inheritance.

So when Joe Shitbag got out of prison for the parole violation, he was pissed off to say the least when he discovered he had no inheritance money left and Suzy Crank-whore had shacked up with one of his buddies.

Late one night neighbors report a loud fight between Joe and Suzy followed by a gunshot. It was reported that Suzy jumped into Joe's beat up car and fled the scene. Joe was killed in a relatives driveway and needless to say there's more air for us breath.

Suzy goes to jump on the local interstate and on the cloverleaf on ramp, spins out into a small marsh. She gets out of the car and gets whacked by a car on the interstate. The gun that killed Joe is in the car and his wallet containing his I.D. card is in Suzy's purse.

We all had a good chuckle about the circumstances. The only bothersome thing is the driver who tried to make Suzy a hood ornament is still at large.

It kinda reminded me of the food chain thing you know, career criminal killed by aspiring career criminal, killed by WTF was that, must have been a deer motorist.

A criminalist from my previous department was there and removing fingernail scrapings from Suzy, and then pubic hair samples from her.

You know us cops, gotta make fun of everything. We teased the criminalist about him removing trace evidence of himself on Suzy. Of course we had to take it further saying it was after she had been hit by the car.

Yeah, I know..... were sick and insensitive.

Twice in minutes

2009-02-28T09:40:00.000-08:00

Ever had one of those days where nothing seems to go right? I had a second hand experience of this through one of the many "friends" I made last Friday.

I see this car drive by from my perch. I noticed the driver was talking on her cellular phone as she stops her car at a red light. Not a big violation, but a violation none the less. I pulled onto the roadway behind her as she continued to talk on her phone. She had been talking on it the entire time the light was red.

As the traffic light went to green, I saw her look at her interior rear view mirror as she literally tossed the phone down like it was a hot potato. I swear some of the way these drivers ditch their phones, I'm waiting for one to come out of an open car door window.

When she begins to drive through the intersection, I light her up (turned on my emergency lights) and she pulls into the parking lot of a local restaurant. I walk up to the driver door where she is now sobbing and says "Are you going to give me another ticket?"

I looked at the driver looking for that mental replay of the last time I gave her a ticket, but didn't find anything. So I asked her if I had ticketed her before. She looked up at me and said "I don't know, didn't you just give me this one?" She produced a copy of a ticket she had just been issued by a friend and motor cop who works for the agency just next door.

The ticket was for speeding. She had been traveling 58 mph in a posted 40 mph roadway. I looked at the time of the speeding ticket and saw 10:49 am written in the box. My time of stop for the same vehicle was 10:55 am.

She told me she was on her cellular phone telling her dad she had just gotten a ticket for speeding. I don't know if she was able to tell dad about her impending cell phone ticket.

So I walk back to my motor to write her a ticket. I tell dispatch that I'm "Code 4" meaning I'm a-okay. The dispatcher asked me if I needed a 10-29 (wants / warrants, driver license check) on the driver. I replied, "I think she's 10-26 (clear of warrants and valid driver license). 4Mary1 just cited her for speed 6 minutes ago."

Needless to say the driver was not happy about the cell phone ticket, and I learned that she was a waitress at the restaurant we had stopped at.

Looks like I won't be eating there in uniform.

Does time really heal the pain?

2009-02-28T07:01:00.000-08:00

Last night I sat in my recliner, remote in hand (yeah the typical guy thing) watching the tube. The news was on, nothing happy to report as usual.

A story came on about a 5 year old boy walking with a group of other kids to an after school care facility close by the elementary school he attended and how he was tragically killed by a passing motorist.

This story instantly brought back the memories of a fatal collision I investigated between a vehicle and a child on a bicycle. I will never ever, ever be able to forget that day. I've seen plenty of dead bodies and SIDS babies, but had been fortunate enough to not have to witness a child's body until that tragic day.

The Fire Guys were all around him doing their best for this child. To see a small child laying in the street next to a mangled bicycle, that vision has forever been burned into my mind.

I'll never forget the paramedic who turned to me with tears in his eyes as he looked at me and slowly shook his head no. That child I saw laying in the street that day was about the same age of my son, same color hair, same skin complexion. And that is who I saw laying on the asphalt, my son.

My motor partner whom I've worked besides for many, many years walked over to me and said "Do you want me to take this?" meaning the investigation. I think he sensed what I was feeling.

Needless to say, I had a job to do. There were many witnesses, most of them parents which needed to be interviewed. I was able to take their statements through their tears all the while trying my best to keep my tears from falling.

Of course the media, with their news vans and helicopters were there soon after interviewing neighbors to give them their 15 seconds of fame talking about the speeding problem they have on this street.

We were on scene well after midnight. One of South City's traffic and engineering persons came out to the seen. She had been crying, that was evident by her red eyes. She's a mom and lives locally, she's also involved in making South City's streets safer. She came out to the scene as we were wrapping up our equipment. She wanted to know if there were any traffic measures that could have been taken to avert this tragedy. Nope, she has and does her job well.

So after getting out of uniform and finally leaving for home, I sat in my car in the parking lot. Nobody was around now, so I sat there and the tears flowed, the ones that I had to fight back while interviewing "mothers" and "fathers" who unfortunately witnessed this tragedy.

The next day I went to the child's house and knocked on the door. There before me stood a man with a broken heart. I was there to return some personal belongings of his child. What can ever be said to ease his and his family's pain by me, an outsider? I offered my sincere condolences as I handed over a Pokemon key chain.

Dad began to cry, and I'll never forget his words.... "My son was my life, now my life is over....." I had tears rolling down my face as I gently handed over a small bag of his son's other personal items.

This was the first time ever in my many, many years on the "job" that I actually thought about leaving.

So while the news story ran about the 5 year old boy, I unexpectedly felt tears rolling down my face and cried. I thought I was pretty much over my experience. Even though, when I ride by that location where he died, I remember that day.... always.

Even as I typed this story, the tears came out. I guess that is a good sign, that after all of these years dealing with some of the scum of society, murders, suicides, etc., and how all of this "hardens" us, that I haven't lost all of my compassion or empathy.

I write tickets with a determination in my mind that I'm going to avoid another tragic day like that. It pisses a lot of motorists off. But I feel I'm doing my "thing" to help me to continue dealing with my feelings about this experience.

So the next time I or any other officer walks up to your driver door and tells you that you're getting a ticket for whatever violation, understand that we do what we do to keep you and others safe so we won't have to go to your home and tell a loved one that you're never coming home again...

We don't call them "accident reduction cites" for nothing.

To the Fire Guys who were there, thanks. I know you guys did your best to save that child and we all walked away from that intersection feeling pretty crappy.

To all of my brother officers and those who responded from our neighboring city, thank you for your help at what started out as an emotional and chaotic scene.

And to the officer or officers who have to investigate that poor little boys death, I feel for you. I know what you feel, what your going through and what you'll continue to go through.

You aught to know better!

2009-02-25T22:29:00.001-08:00

I was parked at one of my fishing holes where I specifically target drivers without seat belts and or talking on their cellular telephones. I watched this car drive by and could see a female seated in the right rear passenger seat with her back up against the door window and not wearing a seatbelt.

I pull onto the roadway and jumped on the throttle, nothing sounds like a Harley haulin' ass. I stopped behind the car which was stopped in traffic. I saw the female place her back against the rear seat back. To my surprise I watched her lift an infant from her lap and place it in a child restraint safety chair.

I'm thinking, wow the infant not in a safety seat... that's a pretty hefty fine." I stopped the car and spoke to the driver and his wife who was the rear passenger.

The wife told me that her child was being fussy so she removed him from the safety seat and tried to calm him down. She then proceeded to tell me that she is a registered nurse at our local hospital. I guess she thought "this is my get out of jail free card".

The nurse also started name dropping, "Do you know Officer so and so? or how about Officer such and so forth?" My reply, "Never heard of them."

Me: "Ma'am I'll be writing a ticket for the seat belt violation and the infant not in a child safety seat."

RN: "Are you serious, you're going to give me a ticket?, what about showing some professional courtesy?"

Me: "I sure am and as far as professional courtesy goes, you of all people should know better about seat belts saving lives."

Well the RN was obviously not happy about getting a ticket as her husband began to chime in about giving them a break. I replied to him that since he was the driver of the vehicle, he had the responsibility to make sure all of the car's occupants were fastened in.

I asked hubby and wife how'd they feel if some head up ass driver had smashed into their car causing baby to become a projectile within their car. I know if I had caused serious injury or death to someone I dearly love, I would never be able to look myself in the eye, nor would I ever be able to forgive myself.

Hopefully a lesson was learned without having to experience the trauma of losing a child.

Just because you work in the medical profession doesn't automatically get you out of a ticket. If you won't think about the safety of your child, then I will with a nice reminder of one of the three copies you pressed hard on to be your personal invitation to our local court.

And to the RN. If your reading this, schedule your traffic court trial on a Wednesday or Thursday. I love the overtime.

The bigger picture

2009-02-25T21:01:00.000-08:00

The other day I was parked on the sidewalk of a road as cars rounded the corner headed towards a shopping center. I was parked at the location monitoring traffic for seat belt and cell phone violations.

Lo and behold I see this pickup truck round the corner and the driver is talking on his cellular telephone. I rode down the sidewalk, turned on my emergency lights to make a U-turn to catch up to the felonious cell phone violator. We ended up stopping in the parking lot of a bank.

I walked up to the driver and had my typical conversation with him. I asked him if he knew why I had stopped him. He replied honestly (something not seen too often) "Because I was talking on my cell phone."

While he looked for his vehicle registration and a current insurance card, I looked at his driver license and saw that he had a commercial driver license. Had I stopped him for a moving violation such as speeding, running a red light, etc., because of his commercial license he would be ineligible for traffic school to keep the violation and point off of his driving record.

I explained to the driver that a cell phone violation would not affect his driver license, however it would show up on his driving record for tracking purposes like they do with the seat belt violations.

He told me that he had been out of work for about 3 months and had just applied for a truck driver job with a local company and was afraid that a cell phone violation showing up on his driving record may have an adverse affect on his chances of getting hired by the company.

The dispatcher on my channel told me that the truck registration was expired a couple of months. The driver told me it was a choice of putting food on the table for his children or paying his truck registration.

He was not able to find a current insurance card as I told him that unfortunately I would be issuing a ticket. I told him as I walked away from his door that I'd be just a few minutes. I heard him ask as I walked away, "Can't you please give me a break?"

I have a habit of writing my tickets and notes on the back of the ticket looking up once I begin writing in the box. I could see the driver through his driver door exterior mirror place his dejected head on his steering wheel.

I remembered the time I was in between jobs (Military to Civilian) and was raising my at the time 4 year old son. Financially things were tough so I really knew what this driver was feeling and asking.

I decided not to ticket him for the cell phone violation, but did ticket him for the expired registration, and for not having a current insurance card.

I walked back up to the driver's door where I explained to the driver that the registration was a "fix it" ticket and the insurance violation would be made a "fix it" item once he showed his current insurance card to the court. I wrote on the bottom of the violation section of the ticket "Warned CVC 23123(a) - Cell Phone"

The driver began crying as I stood by his driver door and handed him his copy of the ticket. He told me he was embarrassed as the tears flowed down his cheeks. I told him, "You know what that makes you don't you? It makes you human."

I sincerely wished him good luck on the recent job he had applied for as he shook my hand before I walked back to my motor.

There may be some of you out there thinking if I truly had a heart I would have just let him go. Well I like to think of "fix it" tickets as my way of motivating the driver to get those items corrected.

Quiet reflection on the water

2009-02-22T22:20:00.000-08:00

There are many professions which have high stress levels, law enforcement being one of them. One of my past times to relax and get things back into perspective (not that riding a motorcycle all day is stressful) is sea kayaking. I'm fortunate enough to live close to the water.

So today I decided to complete one of my new years resolutions by sea kayaking in the rain. I launched at a local cove and noticed that there was nothing really separating the gray waters and the gray skies. While I paddled away from the shore, the surface of the water was smooth with little or no wind present.

I paddled to a local beach about 2 miles away, beached the boat and sat on a wooden table as I looked out toward the water. The only boats I saw on the water other than mine was a tug boat headed outbound. After a quick break, I launched back into the gray waters.

The tide was heading out so after paddling out away from the shore, I stopped paddling and drifted with the tide. It had been raining lightly the entire time I had been out on the water.

As I drifted with the out going tide, I laid my paddle across the cockpit of my kayak and watched the numerous water fowl paddling along and occasionally diving beneath the waters surface. When you get far enough from the shore, the silence is deafening. The only audible sounds were the occasional cry of sea gulls and the pattering of rain on the deck of my kayak, my paddling jacket and the waters surface.

I watched the ringlets of ripples caused by the countless rain drops which had fallen from the sky. As some of the rain drops landed on the water, I noticed these small pearl spheres dancing on the water's surface just before being absorbed into that dark mass of liquid.

I don't know what causes that, maybe because the brackish water is heavier than fresh water and momentarily allows what used to be a rain drop to float along the surface before disappearing.

While drifting with the tide I looked around me. The hillsides are once again green, greatly contrasting my gray surroundings and even on a gray, rainy day there are wonderful things to see if you open your eyes.

I thought to myself, despite the crap that people in our profession experience, and deal with, life is what you make of it. Even in these difficult times all is not doom and gloom. I'm a firm believer in destiny or however you want to word it. I've always believed that events in our lives happen for a reason. While we may not understand why these events happen at the time, the answer eventually finds us.

Live for today, right!? Unfortunately most of us don't. We "bank" on our tomorrows, counting on them and us being there to use them. Life can be cruel as that "bank" of tomorrows can quickly be taken away.... then what? It's over, no more, nada, zilch, zip and then we're tits up in a casket, pushing up daisies.

Do we go to heaven, hell, purgatory, or the eternal gardens filled with maidens or what ever your faith tells you? I don't know. But what's wrong with happiness while you're alive?

I have a friend who was diagnosed with cancer. Thankfully he beat it. He sure has a different perspective on life because his bank of tomorrows was something he thought he wouldn't be able to cash in on. Everyday spent with his family is truly a gift.

You hear the good old sayings, live for today, if life gives you lemons, make lemonade, live like there's no tomorrow and many more.

When events present themselves, you have now come to a fork in the roadway, decision time, what to do...... do I take the left fork or the right fork? We all run into these forks in our roads as life's road is not straight.

As a child, my grandmother told me one of life's secrets, it may be one that you can use when you come to these forks in our roadway of life. She told me, "Let your heart be your compass, it will never take you down the wrong road." And being middle aged, my "cup" of life is probably more empty than full.

I followed my Grandmother's saying through my life. I left a great, promising career in the military... for what? To enjoy the best job in the world and one of the greatest gifts in life. That is being a Dad and raising my son. I didn't want to watch my son grow up through pictures, the missed birthdays, Christmas', little league games, everything that Dads want to be there for.

I've never regretted my decision. I followed my heart's compass to my profession and I am thankful for having the honor of being a part of that "thin blue line".

When we arrive at that fork in the roadway, it sometimes becomes a struggle between our heart's and mind's. In our minds we can rationalize anything to stay on the only road we've known and have traveled for years. However, our hearts can be telling us the exact opposite of what our mind is rationalizing, saying "make the turn, take the other fork in the roadway." Life was meant to truly be lived happy.

So to all of you that have reached that fork in the roadway, take my Grandmother's advice for what its worth, try it, you might like the new road in life's journey.

So think about what if my bank of tomorrows were taken away. Would you be asking yourself, "I shoulda, coulda, woulda"? Only you can answer that question. Life is a journey and an adventure, live it because life was truly meant to be lived happily.

Empower yourselves!

Thank a Veteran

2009-02-22T16:00:00.000-08:00

The other day I was in a neighboring jurisdiction where our court is located. I had just left the court house and was waiting at a red light. I have made it a habit to watch crossing traffic as their light cycles to red.

While stopped there minding my own "bidness", I see the arrow for the southbound left turn lane cycle to red as I see this old Dodge Dart clearly not at the limit line, run the red arrow. Even though I was not in my "official" jurisdiction, I was still in the State of California, so I made a traffic stop on the Dodge.

I walked up to the driver door as I see this elderly gent exit the car. Typically I would have ordered the driver back into his car. When he turned toward me, I noticed he was slightly bent over and was wearing a red ball cap which had USMC WWII VETERAN embroidered on it.

I told the driver why I had stopped him. He replied that he thought the light was yellow, but could have been wrong. He further stated that since I had stopped him, he must have run a red light. I changed the subject to what was embroidered on his cap. He was a veteran of the island hopping campaign across the Pacific and had fought in some of the bloodiest battles of the war such as Guadalcanal, and Iwo Jima.

So here this warrior hero stood before me. With his raspy voice and blue eyes, something told me he must of been one tough son-of-a-bitch in his hey day.

So I shook his hand and thanked him for the sacrifices he and his generation made to allow us to still speak English instead of Japanese or German. Especially the freedoms all of us still have, even those who bad mouth or Great Country and expect the government to provide for their lazy asses.

My whole hearted thanks is extended to Veterans of all services and all wars and conflicts our country has been involved in. To those soldiers, sailors, airmen and marines who are far away from home taking the fight to "their" country rather than ours, Thank You.

To the liberal, self serving, slanted media, fuck you and kiss my ass because you fucker's never report "all" that is going on over there, rarely if never the good, just the shit that'll cause all those unemployed, "where's my handout" lazy asses to stand on their soap boxes.

My cure for those pieces of amphibian whale shit is 12 guage wooden dowels, sting ball grenades, pepper spray, the good ol' baton and yes, "ride the lightning" taser.

ALL ABOARD!!!!

2009-02-17T18:33:00.000-08:00

You can always count on your fellow motor partners to be there when you need them.... and sometimes when you don't.

This story was told to me by the officer who was the victim of this jovial reception.

Like most cities, the Motor Officers by virtue of their mobility accompanied with speed more times than not, make them the first Officers on scene of many crimes in progress. Usually bank robberies.

In this neighboring city they have a BART station and it was reported that the suspect of this bank robbery had gotten onto the train to make his escape. Five Motor Officers arrived at the BART station, boarded and began checking the train for the bad guy.

Before the doors closed (and don't open back up until you get to the next station), 4 Motor Officers stood on the platform as the train headed westbound toward the adjoining city. Needless to say they immediately realized that one of their own (and not surprisingly) was now M.I.A.

Being concerned for their wayward colleague, they did like any typical motor unit would do... they waited for him to debark the next eastbound train back to their city.

To pass the time, anxiously awaiting their lost, beloved brother motor to return back to his jurisdiction they made up signs saying things such as, "Welcome Home Bernard", "We Missed You", and "Looking For Lost Motor Officer, If Found Dial 911".

Imagine his surprise as he stepped off of the train with the numerous passengers and to be greeted by this motley motor crew. One of the officer's was kind enough to pick some flowers to present to the wayward officer as he walked up to them.

The camaraderie of this profession presents itself in many, many ways. Way to go fellas!

Last thoughts....

2009-02-15T08:23:00.000-08:00

There's a saying in the world of motorcycle riders; "It's not a question of if you'll go down (meaning crash), it's a question of when you'll go down." How true.

A saying from when I attended motor school was "Rubber side down." In our specialty assignment of riding a police motorcycle, be they Harley's, BMW's, Honda's or the old work horse Kawasaki's, we ride very aggressively during enforcement.

My dad was pissed when I got out of the military and ended a promising career there. He was a "lifer" in the same branch of service and retired after 23 years. Me, I didn't want to watch my son grow up through pictures so when my time was up after my second enlistment I got out and became a civilian.

When I was first hired by the Sheriff's Department my dad was proud. He never pitched a bitch about my lack of sanity for choosing a dangerous line of work, nor did he pitch a bitch when I worked the very less desirable areas of the county where back-up was something the city police departments had the luxury of.

So one day it was posted on the line up board that the department was starting a new motor unit and had a total of five positions open, 1 Sergeant and 4 Deputies.

I had just been involved in an "on-duty" traffic collision and was found to be the party most at fault. It was a solo vehicle accident during a pursuit (another story for another time). So I wasn't expecting to be one of the "chosen".

Matter of fact, I thought my chances were so far out that I put my request down on a department memo form and wrote it in various colors of crayons with my left hand, complete with backward letters and misspelled words.

Much to my surprise I was chosen for one of the positions and was scheduled to attend a motor academy. I didn't tell the new motor sergeant that I had let my motorcycle endorsement on my driver license laps (once again, another story for another time).

So here I decide to tell my dad the good news. Of course he'll be proud. He's the guy who bought me my first motorcycle and taught me how to ride!

Our conversation went something like this:

2WT: (spoken with little kid excitement) Hey Dad, I was selected to become a motor officer with the department!

Dad: What?!

2WT: (still with the little kid excitement) I was selected to become a motor officer, YES!

Dad: What in the hell did you do that for?! Do you know how dangerous that is?! Why would you want to do something like that for?! Wait until your mother hears about this! I don't think that's a good idea! I have a retired motor sergeant friend who's told me about how dangerous that job is and how many police funerals he's been to for motor officers killed doing their job.

2WT: (in between Dad's verbal tiff) Because, yes, uh, but, but.....

Well when Dad finally finished, I bluntly told him, "And who bought me my first motorcycle and taught me how to ride it?! and who bought me a bigger street legal motorcycle just before I was old enough to get my driver learning permit?.....

There was silence on the other end of the phone.... then, "Well just don't tell your mother, and son, according to my Sergeant friend, it's the most dangerous day to day assignment for a police officer." From all of the fallen motor officer funerals I've attended, Dad was right.

We don't think about that when we're riding. We know it's always in the back of our minds but we do what we do because we love what we do. I've had a few close calls, but this past week I had a real close call.

I'm cruising down the road and I see this car who was supposed to yield to oncoming traffic before making its left turn. I let off the throttle just in case idiot decides to make his turn.

Sure enough he does, but it was past the point where I felt comfortable that he saw me coming. I never knew you could taste the leather seat through your ass, but I did. I never applied the brakes so hard! I could feel the ABS brakes pulsating.

As I neared the passenger side of the car, several what I thought were going to be my last thoughts were;

#1 This is going to fucking hurt!

#2 How am I going to explain this to the Lt.

#3 I am truly going to miss the special people in my life.

#4 Fuck! Dad was right! (I could hear him saying "See, I told you so.")

Fortunately, especially for me, a collision was very narrowly avoided. I stopped, parked the motor and got off the bike shaking uncontrollably. The driver of the car pulled over and parked. He got out of his car and apologized profusely. I was ready to let my mouth take control, then I saw his son get out of the driver door. He looked to be about 7 years old.

I couldn't for the life of me say what I felt like saying. I'm sure he didn't truly see me. He was very apologetic and kept asking if I was okay.

I was able to reply, "Man that was close. Are you and your son okay? I think I just lost five years off of my life and that's five years I can't afford." I didn't give the guy a ticket (although I should have) because it's hard to write when you can't keep your hand from shaking.

Well after that I headed back to the office where I had a cigar (because I was still on duty and couldn't take a shot of some "Old #7") I had a partner to lean on and that was plenty good.

They say the best therapy is to get right back into the saddle. Yep, I went out and wrote some more tickets and felt like my usual self at the end of my shift.

To my partner, thanks for being there.

Don't count on back-up from a Coward

2009-02-15T06:41:00.000-08:00

Early on in my career as a Deputy I worked at the Main Jail. Is it a fun place to work, no, not really. The one true beneficial aspect of "baby sitting" society's pieces of shit is that they love to brag.

If you use that to your advantage you can get quite the education on how our customer base operates. You can learn an awful lot of street smarts through these criminals, so by the time you rotate to patrol division you're familiar with their "game". You know how to "walk the walk and talk the talk", feel me?

Some touchy feely liberal came up with this "direct supervision" philosophy. And what the hell is that?, your asking yourself. Direct supervision is this: You are in the housing unit where these criminals are living. No glass, no heavy metal door separating you from them. You carry your mace, handcuffs, and portable radio and have a podium with the computer and logs you keep.

During the inmates "free time" if the housing unit population was 50 or lower (which was always a rarity) they'd all be out of their cells doing what they do. How they came to the number of 50 inmates versus 1 Deputy I'll never know.

So you spend your entire shift on a housing unit penned up with all of these ass holes. They didn't want to be there any more than I did. Funny how they all say "I really didn't do it."

This event happened after I had left the main jail and was doing what I got into this career for, and that was driving a patrol car and "hookin and bookin" the bad guys, dropping them off for my fellow Deputies still working at the jail.

So every shift and every Deputy working a housing unit is responsible to conduct a window and lock check of each cell. This is done to ensure that the security screen covering the window and the door lock haven't been tinkered with.

This housing unit had two Deputies assigned due to the high inmate population. The inmate population was so great that all 65 rooms were filled with two cretins and as many almost filled bunkbeds out on the bottom floor of the housing unit. Deputy No-balls was entering each cell doing the window / lock check while Deputy Do-right watched from the floor.

Deputy No-balls entered the cell of two inmates who were privileged to be housing unit workers, meaning they brought the trays of food during meals to each cell and were allowed extra privileges like more "free time", more telephone time, etc.

Deputy No-balls sees the security screen almost completely torn from the cell wall with the window exposed. The inmates charged Deputy No-balls in an attempt to take him hostage. Deputy Do-right saw the commotion and ran up the stairs to the upper tier to aid his fellow Deputy.

Deputy No-balls was able to get out of the cell and ran along the upper tier to the opposite staircase. Meanwhile Deputy Do-right is now in a fight with one of the inmates as the second inmate was in pursuit of Deputy No-balls.

According to Deputy Do-right, he saw and heard Deputy No-balls running, screaming as he was chased around the housing unit. Deputy Do-right was over powered by the inmate from the cell as well as one who decided to jump off of his bunk and "help a brutha out". Deputy Do-right was knocked unconscious with his own flashlight and suffered a concussion.

Meanwhile Deputy No-balls was caught by is pursuer and did not put up a fight and received an ass whipping (rightfully so).

How this all came to an end was some good inmate (believe that!) got off of his bunk and hit the intercom button near one of the housing unit doors. When the control room answered he told them what was happening.

The control room put out an 11-99 (meaning the officer / deputy is in the shit and needs help) as preassigned Deputies responded to the housing unit. The two inmates gave up without a fight and lay face down on the floor as the Deputies entered the housing unit.

What is up with this newer generation of Deputy which responded to the housing unit? Bad guys just give up, two Deputies injured, one seriously! and it's all good!! WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How about a good ass kicking to those two pieces of shit. Well Deputy Do-right was transported to the hospital for his injuries and was later released. He has since left the department for greener pastures and I hear is doing great.

Deputy No-balls was moved to transportation and is working the "desk".

It was later determined that the two turds were in jail for murder and had a real good reason for trying to get out of there and doing what they did.

I have a problem with some of this.....

#1 Why and who moved those two turds into the same cell had his head up his ass.

#2 Fight or Flight... Deputy No-balls chose flight and screamed like a bitch running around the housing unit. It was not a tactical retreat, he was scared and disgraced every gun toting, badge wearing person.

This leads me to a few questions, like why didn't he use his mace, or radio to request assistance?, or push that special button on the radio which signals a 11-99 to the control room operator?

Deputy Do-right chose fight and never gave up. In hindsight he might have requested help via his radio, used his mace. I don't know. I wasn't there. Although I can say that when I've seen a brother or sister Officer / Deputy in a fight, my first thought is to help them first.

#3 How in the FUCK do you leave your beat partner at a time when he was expecting you to help him!!!!!!!

#4 Why the Deputies who responded didn't give those two mother fuckers a beat down or an "elevator ride" I'll never know. The attitude sure has changed there since I left. The crew I worked with would have. Old School versus New School.

I know there are those of you who don't agree with my opinion on #4, but remember what they say about opinions...... and if you don't, allow me to tell you.... Opinions are like ass holes, everybody has one and they usually stink.

I believe that 99.9% of persons in our profession wouldn't hesitate to help an officer or citizen in dire need of assistance, even knowing that we may become a statistic ourselves and find our names chiseled into some wall at a memorial.

I personally could not look in the mirror at myself or face my peers for any inaction's on my part which caused the serious injury or death of a fellow officer or citizen and I would leave this profession.

I've learned early on while in the military that when the shit hits the fan, I'm one of the few persons you'll see running toward the fan, rather than away, which is the attitude and actions of 99.9% of our profession. I've faced the shit hitting the fan too many times and have nothing to prove to my peers.

To Deputy No-balls who belongs to that .1% of cowards, pussies or how ever you want to call it. If your reading this, you know I'm writing about you. How dare you not help your beat partner when he was COUNTING on you.

You fucking disgrace the uniform, the badge, and most importantly you tarnish the names of all brave Officer's / Deputies and their families who paid the ultimate price to keep society safe and whose names are chiseled into the walls of Peace Officer Memorials around our great country. FUCK YOU!

How dare you to continue to wear the uniform and badge which you have so greatly disrespected with your cowardice.

My advice to you, yes you, Deputy No-balls is to get out of this profession before you get someone else seriously injured or killed you pussy.

One of those calls

2009-02-14T23:24:00.000-08:00

Every now and then you get dispatched to one of those, "I can't believed someone called in about this!" type of calls.

So I'm 10-8 (in service) and RALB (riding around lookin' bitchin') through South City enjoying the fact that I'm riding a motorcycle and it's freakin February!

I get dispatched to a concerned citizen about geese in the roadway and she's afraid someone will run them over.

So being the immature adult that I am, I advised the dispatcher, "I copy on the jaywalking geese, I'm familiar with the subjects and will advise on cover." The dispatcher chuckled in her response of "10-4"

I get to the area where the reported felonious jaywalking Canadian feathered friends were last spotted.

2WT: "Mary18, '97'"(meaning I'm on scene) and Code 4 (everything is a-okay) on an area check.

Dispatch: "Copy 10-97, Code 4 area check."

2WT: "Mary18, I'm UTL (unable to locate). The gaggle of geese were GOA (gone on arrival). I'm 10-8.

Dispatch: (laughing) Copy, the gaggle of geese are GOA."

It's not too often that we'll make the dispatchers laugh on the radio, the motor cops in our division make it a point to brighten their day.

And he's a Detective Sergeant!?

2009-02-14T22:30:00.000-08:00

Since that fateful day, September 11th when America was attacked on it's own soil, Big Brother has taken steps to help make us more secure with such things like the Patriot Act, our cellular phone network providers handing over lists of customers information without a warrant. My hats off to the one company that had the balls to stand up to Big Brother.

So how does the Department of Homeland Security come into play?

Working my usual duck pond, I stopped a car for speeding. I had the usual conversation with the driver before I walk back to my motorcycle with his license, registration and proof of insurance to issue him a ticket.

During my warrant / driver license check the dispatcher advised me of the driver being on Big Brother's "list" and not to let the driver know that Big Brother is on to him.

Well our Detective Sergeant calls me on my department issued cell phone and tells me to take dudes picture and to document it in a report.

WTF!!! Oh like dudes not going to have any clue that taking his picture on a car stop is something out of the very ordinary. I may as well just tell him what's going on.

So I asked additional questions like where he came from and where he was going to. The address on his driver license was an old one and he provided me his current one verbally. Needless to say he was given a ticket for the speed, and for not updating his address and he is sent happily on his way, none the wiser because I didn't take the damn picture.

After clearing my stop over the radio, the dispatcher told me that Officer "So and So" was requesting a telephone call from me. Well Officer "So and So" was assigned from our agency as with other Officers from various agencies to work with the Department of Homeland Security.

I dialed the number and heard a voice answer "Hello" I thought, "Shit, I must have dialed the wrong number." So not being sure I was connected to an arm of Big Brother, I vaguely said, "I was told to call this number concerning somebody I contacted." The voice replied "Yeah, you have the right place." Very interesting.... especially since most governmental agencies usually answer the phone with "Ghost Busters" or "The Schwartz"

I write my report and get my ass chewed by the Detective Sergeant because I didn't take this person of "interest's" picture. "Go Fuck Yourself" is what I wanted to say, but he was the type of kid that got beat up for his lunch money all of the time.

So I listened to Detective Sergeant "Butt Sore" as he ranted and raved about insubordination and how I didn't follow his order. Every time I tried to tell him that it was supposed to be Big Brother Super Secret Squirrel stuff, he'd interrupt and get back on his soap box.

As he stood there on his soap box, Detective Sergeant Butt Sore became more sore because I was sitting in the chair very aloofly and I just might have rolled my eyes once or twice. Our administrative Sergeant who was an OG ie: "original gangsta, old salt, veteran" was walking by the door during my ass chewing.

Well Sergeant OG stopped, flashed his "I'm fucking pissed" smile at Sergeant Butt Sore and kindly said through clenched teeth, "Please follow me." They went into the copy room next to our report writing room.

Sergeant OG served in Vietnam in the Special Forces, he could deliver an ass chewing like no other I've ever received or heard. He was true to form as he handed Sergeant Butt Sore his ass on a silver platter.

After Sergeant Butt Sore had less ass to sit on when he left the room, Sergeant OG walked in to where I was seated, told me good job and decision making by not following as he called him, "Pee Wee Herman's" order to take dudes photograph.

It made common sense to me not to take the picture. I'm sure Sergeant Butt Sore will attain a very high rank in the Sheriff's Office due to his great decision making and people skills.

Stupid question Einstein

2009-02-12T21:39:00.000-08:00

Okay, I tend to look at situations as an intelligence test. Not the type you take on paper by answering the question by darkening the bubble in with a number 2 pencil. I'm talking about real life situations which cause you to have to make a decision.

Sounds easy huh.... I've arrived at the conclusion many, many, many years ago from doing this job that unfortunately (or fortunately for job security) that there are a lot of stupid people out there.

Here's the test, see what answer you come up with.

You're driving through a neighborhood and come to a 4-way intersection controlled by stop signs. When you stop, you see a black and white police motorcycle parked at the far side of the intersection with yours truly standing next to it.

Beyond the parked police motorcycle and officer and in view are seven BRT's, big red trucks with emergency lights flashing and guys wearing yellow turn-out firefighting gear, SCBA's... you know the whole freakin nine yards.

In addition to all of this, there are numerous fire hoses crossing the roadway and beyond that was billowing black smoke coming out of the roof of a home.

Now for the hard part.... do you:

A) Turn right

B) Turn left

C) U-turn

D) Ask the polite officer if you can drive around his motorcycle or

E) A, B, or C

Now if you chose "E" because making a right, left or U-turn sounds common sensicle (is that a word? who gives a shit anyways) give yourself a nice pat on the back because you are an anomaly in comparison with the rest of the general motoring public.

Now Einstein drives up and stops. He rolls down his window and waves his hand, motioning for me to come over to his car. I waved back. He motioned a second time, I waved back a second time. Einstein gets a clue and drives closer because I ain't walking over.

Remember in school when the teacher said there's no such thing as a stupid question..... IT'S NOT TRUE!

Einstein: "Officer, what happened?" (and the fire was still raging)

2WT: "You're kiddin me, right?"

Einstein: "Did something happen?"

2WT: "Yeah, a cat is stuck up in a tree."

Einstein: "Really?"

2WT: "Really"

Einstein: "Wow" and drives away.

I LOVE MY JOB!!!!

Justice with a sad ending

2009-02-10T10:08:00.000-08:00

Back in the day when I was assigned to my previous department's patrol division, I chose to work the weekend graveyard shift from 6:30 pm to 7:00 am. The station house was small, typically with 3 patrol deputies working the Town at night.

It just so happened that our patrol supervisor, a sergeant called in sick on a Sunday night. Lucky me being the senior patrol deputy, I was designated the patrol supervisor for the night. Technically that left 2 patrol deputies for the entire Town.

Graveyard on Sunday night is typically "quiet". We cops don't like the word "quiet". We like to use the words, uneventful, manageable, calm, etc., and if you couldn't remember those words, it could be referred to as the "Q word".

Sound superstitious? Yes, absolutely! We'd joke around with the other deputies saying things such as, "It sure is 'quiet' in beat 3 tonight."

If the "Q word" was spoken we'd be expecting the "shit to hit the fan" sometime during our shift. As typical of my beat partners, it was the usual banter, "Hey 2 Wheel, (with laughter mixed in) I hope things go smoothly and 'quiet' for you as the patrol supervisor tonight."

My reply was, "yeah, but your asses will be taking the 'paper' so I can properly supervise you clowns."

Sunday night progressed typically, not very many calls for service with plenty of time to finish reports from the busy Friday and Saturday nights. Oh and plenty of time for coffee, the life's blood of an older generation of graveyard cops. It seems the newer generation prefers those high doses of caffeinated drinks which tastes like soda. Thank god Chevron is open 24 hours, and has hot coffee on!

About 4:00 am I hear one of my beat partners get dispatched to a 911 hang-up call. This is a pretty common call, usually dialed in by some ones fax machine, someone trying to dial India, or telephone line problems due to the rain.

I start to head towards the address to back up my brother deputy. I arrived on scene first and followed our usual tactical approach. Needless to say as I was able to see toward the front door, which was open, I saw one man lying on top of another with blood all over the foyer.

By then the victim's wife is on the phone to dispatch saying her husband had been shot three times and was able to wrestle the suspect to the ground. I received this info from dispatch just as the victim said, "I'm dying."

I told the victim, Mr. X to lay back off of the suspect as I handcuffed him. I then directed Mrs. X to apply pressure to the bullet wound to his neck. I will never forget her sobbing as she gently cradled Mr. X's head in her lap and repeatedly told him "I love you, I love you."

Business wasn't finished. I had one of the other deputies request an ambulance code 3 and to stay with Mr. and Mrs. X. Myself and my trusted beat partner then "cleared" (check for additional suspects and victims) the house. We found their sons still fast asleep despite the commotion that obviously went on.

Mr. POS (Piece of Shit) still lay on his stomach in his own blood. POS was bleeding from the back of his head. I kneeled down to Mr. X and told him his sons were alright. I also knelt down to listen to any dying declaration that Mr. X might say as to what had happened.

The Fire guys arrived. The great thing was that Mr. POS's injuries were so severe they took him out via air ambulance and Mr. X out via ground ambulance.

It turned out that Mr. POS was an employee of Mr. X and ran the company when Mr. X was out of town. Mr. POS had embezzled a lot of money from the business and Mr. X was looking into the reason the books didn't balance.

I was later able to listen to the dispatch tape. You could hear the commotion going on in the background as Mrs. X said someone was in their house, followed by her screams and gunshots. At one point the phone was dropped and as Mr. X wrestled the gun and Mr. POS to the ground, you could hear Mr. X telling Mrs. X to "shoot him", but during their struggle the gun actually came apart.

Mr. X told his wife "grab a wine bottle". She obviously did as Mr. X was telling her "hit him!" You could hear the sound of the wine bottle making some nice contact with the back of Mr. POS's head. The back of his head looked like cherry pie filling.

Later, our Detective Sergeant called me into his office and showed me the call as typed in by a dispatcher (call history). I was shocked to see that a lot of very important information was not broadcast to those of us responding.

Some of that important information were neighbors calling in a fight at the front porch, gunshots being heard, screaming, you know the little things us cops would greatly appreciate to know as we roll up onto the scene. Unfortunately the dispatcher was "papered" for not broadcasting the incoming updated information.

I'm thankful that I didn't become complacent in my tactics and became a victim myself had Mr. POS been successful in murdering Mr. X.

Mr. X had a true fight or flight response. He was going to fight to the death to protect his wife and children. I think he and Mrs. X did a great job. The only better ending would have been if Mr. X had killed Mr. POS.

Mr. POS has been a guest of the California State Prison System on us taxpayers and will continue to be a guest for a long time.

The true tragedy to this story is about a year later I answered a call on the court where Mr. X lives. After clearing the call, I bumped into Mr. X. The fact that he even recognized me from his family's horrific night was astonishing. He wanted to thank me, I told him he was the true hero that night.

Mr. X went on to tell me how that night had changed him. He sadly told me that he and his wife were currently in divorce proceedings and the house was up for sale. I asked if they had tried the counseling route. He told me that they had not. I reminded him that the events of that night were absolutely traumatic for him and his family. I told him it was not uncommon for people to fall victim to post traumatic stress disorder, even us cops can and do experience this.

Being a victim twice over..... Protecting your family with the thought that you had lost your life doing so, and then losing you family due to the difficulty in coping with the aftermath of emotions.

I truly hope that Mr. and Mrs. X were able to save their marriage.

Sounds like he's in pursuit!!

2009-02-07T11:08:00.001-08:00

Occasionally when you hear an officer talking on the police radio channel and hear the sound of a siren along with it, everybody usually stops what ever they are doing to see if that officer is in pursuit of a vehicle.

While sitting in the office one day, we hear one of our motor cops making a traffic stop over the radio. As he spoke over the air we could hear the sound of a siren very loudly in the background. The rest of us in the office grabbed our helmets and quickly began walking toward our parked motors, putting on our helmets as we neared them.

The dispatcher was "on top of it" as she heard the same siren and asked the officer, "Mary19 are you in pursuit?"

There was a deafening silent pause over the air as nobody dared to talk, waiting for the officer's reply. Finally after what almost seemed an eternity we heard Mary19 reply, "Negative, but I think South City Fire Department might be." It was the SCFD BRT (Big Red Truck) driving by code 3 for some call they were responding to.

Seeing as how we were all out of the office with helmets on, we figured it was a good time to head to Starbucks for a cup.

"Same Bat Channel"

2009-02-07T10:26:00.000-08:00

Due to the numerous police agencies in the county where I work, we have several different channels available depending on what part of the county you're working and agency you work for.

We motor cops wear gloves as part of our "safety" equipment. I usually turn my portable radio on before I disconnect my "umbilical cord" from the motorcycle. Needless to say the channel selection knob is right next to the knob which turns the portable radio on and off.

There have been a few times where I've accidentally had my gloved hand also brush against the channel selection knob enough to change the radio channel I'm supposed to be on..... "car 54 where are you" type of situation.

So I contact the driver and have our usual quick chat before I walk back to scratch out a rag (ticket). We routinely request a warrant / driver license check via our radio.

Being on the wrong channel can be handled several ways. We have one bitter sounding female dispatcher who is fantastic at doing her job and is really a nice person. She has a way of keeping us in line by being usually short and blunt about things, such as the following radio conversation,

Me: "Mary (cop phonetics for "motorcycle") 18, 10-29 (cop code for the warrant / driver license check)."

Dispatcher: (sarcastic tone) "Mary 18 you're on channel 5!"

Me: "Uh 10-22 (cancel or in this case never mind), I'll be switching back to channel 4."

So everybody on channel 5 heard the dispatcher "front" me off so every cop who was on that channel heard her nasty sting, keeping me and others in our place. I'll never bad mouth a dispatcher. They do one hell of a job every day and I'm truly thankful that we have people that are capable of performing such an important task.

I've experienced other occasions where this has happened, but with a nicer outcome.... here's an example;

Me: "Mary 18, 10-29 on one."

Kind Dispatcher: "Go ahead Mary 18, be advised you're on channel 5."

Me: "Mary 18, I copy. Just wanted to see how you're doing. How are you doing?"

Kind Dispatcher: (Laughing) "I'm fine, thanks. And you?"

Me: "Dandy!, life is good." Mary18, 10-22 on the '29' and I'll be switching over to channel 4, thanks."

Kind Dispatcher: (laughing even harder) "10-4 (message received), switching back to channel 4."

Indulge me by reading one more.

Me: "Mary18, 10-29 on one."

Kinder Dispatcher: "Mary18 go ahead."

Me: "Last of 'Pidasso', first of 'Stew', Date of Birth 2-30 of 75, white male."

Kinder Dispatcher: "Mary18, 'Pidasso' returns 10-26 (no warrants) with a valid class C driver license. Mary18, FYI your on channel 5."

Me: "Mary18 I copy, just stopping by for a visit. I'll be switching back to channel 4, thanks."

Kinder Dispatcher: (laughing) "10-4."

Now I'm back on channel 4 and everybody is probably none the wiser, or so I thought.... until I clear my traffic stop.

Me: "Mary18, I'll be clear on a moving citation."

Channel 4 Dispatcher: "Mary18 clear on a cite. By the way, welcome back to channel 4."

Honestly Uncle, I wasn't being a Smart Ass...

2009-02-01T06:27:00.000-08:00

I'm sure every Cop out there has had a family member ticketed for some vehicle code violation, some of us are even unfortunate enough to have family members, to include relatives arrested. That just shows you that we're no different than everybody else.

My sister called me one day and asked me if I'd be in my office. I told her I'm usually outside "playing" (chasing drivers down) and not in the office much during the day. She told me my niece had gotten a ticket for expired vehicle registration and could I "sign" off on her ticket that it had been corrected.

So I arranged a time with my sister to pass on to my niece to meet me at my office at 10:00 am. I arrived about 15 minutes early and went into the office. To pass the time I finished a traffic collision report.

10:00 rolls by and no niece... I decide to work on the sketch for the traffic collision report using a cool computer aided diagramming software (no more straight edge, pencils and erasers).

So by 10:30 I'm out of the office and back on the road. What is it with young people keeping their appointments on time?... Well maybe that I'm now sorta kinda grown up, I can understand her not making it.

I get a second phone call from sis while at coffee with the fellas. She tells me my niece is on her way to my office as we speak. So I finish my coffee, joking conversation with the fellas and get to the office about 10 minutes later.

I roll up to the parking lot and see she's sitting in her little pickup truck. I get my usual hug and "Hi" from her and catch up with what she's been up to.

I asked her for her copy of her ticket. She hands it to me as I look at the front of it and zero in to those wonderful violation lines. I see the expired registration violation, along with the defective windshield and mutilated driver license violations...

Being the trained observer that I am and remembering the conversation with my sister about the registration violation, I figured there was more to the story about my niece getting stopped, specifically her attitude with the ticketing officer.

I look at the court date assigned at the bottom of the ticket and see it had passed 3 months ago! She tells me she had gotten an extension on the ticket. I asked to see the extension from the court. She did her "Come on Uncle 2 Wheel, can't you just sign it off?"

"Uh, No". She was taken slightly aback. Needless to say she showed me the extension. I checked her vehicle registration, saw that it was current and I sign the violation as being "corrected".

I checked her windshield and saw it had been replaced as she told me it had a crack in it from a rock while driving down the highway. Violation #2 signed off.

I ask to see her driver license. She hands it to me and I look at the issue date of the license. It's her original driver license she was issued by the Dept. of Motor Vehicles.

I noticed that the lower right hand corner of her driver license had a crease in it. She told me how the "mean officer" ticketed her for having a mutilated driver license.

Come on Please!!! Even us motor cops don't get that chicken shit when writing violations! Well... maybe... sometimes... kinda... and gladly if the driver is being a prick or a bitch! Power of the pen.

I told my niece that she had been "paper fucked" (don't worry, she's an adult). "Paper what" was her reply, "paper fucked" I answered.

I then proceeded to educate my niece on Police Officer - Driver etiquette.

Put plainly, nice driver equals nice Police Officer (or at least hopefully). Mean driver equals nice Police Officer (okay I might be stretching that one).

Mean driver might equal outwardly appearing nice Police Officer (but not always).

The Police Officer who can, might and in my niece's case fornicated via a carbon copy slip of paper did use the power of the pen and meted out a small example of "justice". The Officer I would imagine felt "justified" in taking that extra few seconds to write a couple of series of numbers and titles for the vehicle code violations.

Of course she tells me she was not rude or disrespectful in any way, manner or form... Unfortunately I've listened to her dad's rhetoric about the Law Enforcement Profession and can only assume that unfortunately my niece had picked up his bad habit.

Would I have written the mutilated driver license, probably not if the driver had been courteous.

LIFE'S LESSON:

As I've stated before, ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING!!! Listen people, we're not asking for you to kiss our asses and we surely don't think that our shit doesn't stink.

So when you see that Officer walking up to your door via your rear view mirror, take some personal accountability and act civilly. You'll be amazed at how smooth things go, and maybe, just maybe you might be driving off with a warning instead of a ticket.

Had I taken this approach with the Officers who stopped me when I was younger, I might not have had the crappy driving record which caused my monthly insurance premium to be higher than the monthly note for the first new car I bought.

Hindsight sure is 20/20.

A new record!

2009-01-29T21:09:00.000-08:00

There I sat on my motor in the shade of a big oak tree on this bright, beautiful day (God I love the weather in California, it's freakin' January and I'm still ridin' on two wheels!!).

Parked next to me is my motor partner, Juan "ees no probleem" Jalisco. We usually work in tandem and talk about anything and everything as we patiently wait for our prey to scoot by.

I'm parked closest to the curb of this business entrance. We see the first of many prey to fall today from our "perch". Juan Jalisco is on it as he chases down a driver wearing no seat belt.

After a few minutes I see a white VW beetle go by and see the driver talking on a cellular phone. I'm off like a prom dress, as I whisk after the bug. The bug stopped at a red arrow in a left turn lane. I can see through the rear window that the driver is still talking on her cell phone.

It is always funny to see how quick a drivers reflexes are when they're on their cell phones and see a cop. I swear sometimes they're so quick to put the cell phone down, that if they were just as quick to bring it up to their ears they'd probably knock themselves unconscious.

The driver sees me behind her and does the disappearing act with the cell phone. We pull into the parking lot of a fast food restaurant where she asks me why I had pulled her over. I took off my sunglasses, tilted my head to one side and gave her that "you've got to be kidding me" look.

She then says, "Okay, you caught me talking on my phone."

Okay, I'm gonna write you a ticket for talking on your phone......

So after the usual interaction with the driver, she leaves with her copy and says that she won't do it again (famous last words). What she meant to say is "Hopefully I won't get caught again."

So off she goes about her business, and off I go in search of more drivers who need a little educating.

About 45 minutes later, Juan Jalisco is on another car stop. I cruise by his location to make sure everything is good as the driver was driving without a license (a towable offense in California with a 30 day impound). Juan tells me he's "hokay" and I park at the other end of this parking lot watching passing motorists.

I see this VW beetle approaching and notice the driver, Wait a minute, she looks familiar!, no way!..... Way! Its the same driver yapping away on her cell phone. She sees me and it looked like she threw her cell phone down toward the right front passenger floorboard.

SCORE! I stop the VW and recontact the driver who had nothing to say. She automatically handed me her driver license, registration, and proof of insurance. I told her "I don't need those, I'll just copy your info of the last ticket I gave you."

Two cell phone tickets in 45 minutes to the same driver. Who'd a thunk?

And Baby comes home

2009-01-28T22:10:00.001-08:00

We motor cops do have hearts. We have people in our lives whom we truly love with all of our heart and soul, sometimes so much that they become our heart and soul. Special people who brighten our lives and days to remind us that life is a wonderful gift.

I stopped this one driver for going 56 mph in a posted 40. Its a pretty busy roadway with lots of entrances and exits to roadside businesses.

After the usual greeting with him giving me his driver license and such, he tells me that he's on his way to the local hospital to pick up his wife and new born son. He even showed me the wrist band allowing him into the nursery to see his pride and joy.

Being a typical motor cop I write him a speeding ticket and give him a break on not having proof of insurance.

While I explained the ticket to him, he was obviously pissed off and thought that its okay and justified to drive 16 mph over the posted speed limit because he was a new father.

I politely explained to him that he surely reduces his chances of enjoying the truly best job in the world and that is being a father, dad, fahja, papa-san or what ever you wanna call it.

He doesn't buy into it and angrily tells me "I'll see you in court! You obviously don't have children yourself."

So this last week there we were, seated in the courtroom waiting for the traffic trials to begin. I see my defendant, new daddy sitting in the last row on the opposite side of the courtroom. He steps outside where I see him talking to another gentleman wearing a suit.

The suited gent walks up to me and asks me if I'm Officer 2 Wheel Terror. I answer that I am, as he tells me he is representing his client who was my client on that day he chose to speed.

We step out of the courtroom into the lobby where his client walks up. The attorney tells me that his client who happened to be his friend was willing to plea to "no contest" which means that he wasn't saying that he was guilty nor was he innocent. The no contest plea would be to a lesser charge, still causing him to pay a fine but it wouldn't add a point to his driving record which in turn keeps the car insurance from going up.

I have no problem with that. I don't take any drivers actions or reactions personally (usually). So he pled "no contest" to a lesser violation. He was happy, his attorney (who turned out to be his friend's son's god father) was happy.

Me I didn't care. I show up because the driver chose to exercise his constitutional right and I respect that. Of course it doesn't hurt that I get paid 5 hours minimum of overtime.....

I saw him out in the lobby where I shook his hand and asked him how his wife and son were doing. We chatted for a few minutes about children, fatherhood, but avoided the topic of teenagers...... I think he'll be in for a surprise.

White cane, Stone heart, Lack of discretion

2009-01-28T22:09:00.001-08:00

Okay, this story came to me second hand, heard by a fellow motor officer from my agency who happened to be in traffic court when this case was heard.

A brother motor cop from another agency walks up to the podium as his case is called. He gets up there with ease and stands facing the Judge. As the motor cop's back is to the rest of the police officers and defendants he stood there.

Seeing that his defendant hadn't walked up to the podium, he turned around. Here his defendant was walking wearing sunglasses, fishing hat and using a white cane!!

With cops in the room, especially motor cops, you could here the murmurs of their hushed comments and snickering.

Apparently the motor cop cited him for walking across a street (at an intersection) against a red hand, meaning don't walk. The motor cop testified that the defendant was not using a white cane that day.

One of three things happened.... 1) The motor cop didn't believe the man's story as "we've heard it all before", 2) This motor cop is too hard core, 3) The old man was a cantankerous bastard and deserved the ticket.

Picture it, an old, fragile man wearing his sunglasses, fishing hat, probably bermuda shorts with black socks and using his white cane, tapping it side to side as he approaches the podium to testify.

Ewwwww! Not a pretty picture, or at least not one I'd like to be party to in front of all those cops, because cops can be relentless when it comes to laughing at each other.

The old man testifies that he has only 10% of his vision and is legally blind. He added that he may not have had his white cane with him. The intersection lacked some type of sound device to let the visually impaired to know if it was safe to cross.

Needless to say, no judgement was made and the case was taken under submission. Submission is when the Judge needs to review evidence which was submitted during a traffic case trial or does not want to embarrass the officer and makes a judgement later, mailing his decision to the defendant and Officer.

What a kicker, mailing the Judges decision to a blind man.

Ticketed twice must suck

2009-01-28T22:07:00.000-08:00

We have this one roadway that we affectionately refer to as the (name of street) speedway. This section of the road is where driver's seem to have a particularly hard time matching the numbers on their speedometers with those white signs with the black numbers on them (not really a tough thing to do).

So there I sit in the wide open with my motor partner parked along the curb near the corner of the intersection which gives me an unobstructed view up to 4000 feet of oncoming, unwary motorists. The posted speed limit is 45 mph. Typically we get drivers doing in excess of 60 mph.

There is a daycare center nearby where during the summer the small children are all holding onto a rope as they take a walk around the park like setting.

While I sat there watching cars approach and drive by (it's not as boring as you think), I noticed this one car heading toward me, up hill and looked to be hauling ass. I'm thinking its traveling in excess of 60 mph.

So I point my handy-dandy LIDAR (generally referred to as laser radar) at the approaching car and get a speed reading of 63 mph.

I holstered my LIDAR, fire up the bike and turn on my emergency lights as the car gets closer. The car passes as I pull behind it. The driver sees me as he passed the corner I was stopped on. He immediately pulls over and stops in a public transit bus pull out.

Upon contact he's really apologetic and kept repeating "Please to forgive me, please to forgive me."

We have the usual short conversation where I start off, "Good morning, afternoon, evening, Officer 2 Wheel Terror, South City PD. I then ask him the usual, 1) I stopped you for your speed, 2) what's the posted speed limit, 3) how fast were you going, 4) driver license, registration and proof of insurance.

My initial contact ends with "Unfortunately I'm going to give you a ticket for the speeding, I'll be right back."

When I walk back up to his door, the driver begins to question me on my qualifications, the equipment I was using, how long I've been a cop and can he see the LIDAR. So I politely answer his questions and I remind him his signature is not an admission of guilt. He states that he wants to see the LIDAR first before he signs.

People, this is not "Lets make a deal" and no, you don't get to pick what's behind door #2. I told idiot I'd be more than happy to show him the LIDAR after he signs. He tells me he won't sign the ticket until he sees the LIDAR.

Well out comes my "Show Host" personality where I tell him option (door) #1 is me giving him his copy of the ticket after he signs and option (door) #2 is my handcuffs on his wrists, under arrest, sitting in the back of a patrol car and off to jail.

Obviously "Idiot" is not as much of an idiot as I thought he was. He signs and I happily give him his copy. I walk back to my motor, grab the LIDAR and walk back up to his door. I show him his locked speed and the distance of about 300 feet.

Einstein asks, "How do I know that's me?" "Does it 'capture' my license plate or a picture of my car speeding?" Lets be realistic here.... "No"

You feel like giving replies such as ".... and if you wear this government issued aluminum foil LIDAR beam deflector hat you'll never get caught speeding again." or "just place that bag of microwave popcorn on your dashboard and if there's a cop around with a LIDAR the popcorn will start popping, a real inexpensive but effective LIDAR detector."

I'll be taking pre-orders via this blog for both items.

Seriously! THINK ABOUT IT!! Do you really think I'm gonna jeopardize a great career which pays well, allows me to retire at age 50, and give up my gig of being a professional motorcycle rider..... just to write you a goddamn ticket? "Oh Hell No!!!!"

I tell all drivers I meet, greet and educate that it is their right to handle the matter personally in court. I don't really care if you handle it through the mail or exercise your right to contest the ticket.

Einstein tells me he intends to measure the distance at which I locked his speed at. I told Einstein that he couldn't leave his car parked in the public transit bus pull out. So this genius gets into his car, pulls out of the bus pull out and parks along the curb which is painted red and has those cute little signs which say "NO PARKING AT ANYTIME".

I'm standing there writing my notes about this traffic stop. I've made it a habit and have had enough practice to be able to write my notes without looking down, allowing me to keep my eye on hazards, like drivers and their automobiles.

So I watch Einstein grab several tape measures, and folding wooden measuring sticks. He walks by me and says that he's going to measure the 300 feet to pinpoint his exact location. I replied "knock yourself out."

I watched Einstein walk down the road out of view. Meanwhile my motor partner who had cleared his traffic stop pulls up and asks me what's up. I told him the driver was going to measure 300 feet.

He exclaims, "You gotta be fucking kidding me!" Then he says "Is that his car." I replied "Why yes, yes it is." He fires up his motor and pulls behind the car where he issues a parking ticket for parking in a red zone.

Priceless.........

You want sympathy!!!!!

2009-01-25T12:52:00.000-08:00

Check this out, The posts you read on this blog are not the typical motorists we generally stop day to day. A very high majority of them are very respectful. They're usually not happy as they know the stereotype of motor cops is never giving warnings (which is very untrue).

The very rude, mean and sarcastic ones are few and far between. They just seem more common because we stop a heck of a lot of cars. We very rarely write about those kind, respectful motorists.

So one day I get dispatched with a fellow motor cop that there has been a traffic collision in a business parking lot. There were no injuries but the dispatcher informed us that there was a verbal altercation going on between the two drivers.

My motor partner arrives first and he was already talking to both drivers as I rolled up. I could see there were two females he was talking to. One was middle aged the other a young college student home for X-mas break.

I could see the middle aged woman was quite upset by the way she was gesticulating with her arms.

Apparently the college student was backing out of parking spot and into the right front passenger door of a passing sedan. The impact between the rear bumper and pass door was negligible as the only thing I saw was some disturbed dust.

Of course the middle aged driver when I asked her to "point" out where the damage was, she began to kick the passenger door saying "It's right there, can't you see it? What are you, blind!"

She then points out that her elderly (and I mean so elderly I thought she was driving a corpse around like "weekend at Bernie's") mother has a neuro-muscular degenerative disorder.

I asked her if she wanted me to call an ambulance for her mom. She replies "Hell no, I take care of her seven days a week." There were a couple of bystanders, one of which walked up and told me that she felt obligated to stop as she had witnessed the collision and said the middle aged driver verbally pounced on the college student.

The college student who was talking to my partner was sobbing uncontrollably. The middle aged driver tells me in a witchy tone "If I cried like that little bitch I'd be getting all of the attention too."

I told Witchy-poo that I was talking to her so the college student driver wasn't getting all of the attention. Of course she had a comeback, "How come she's getting all of the sympathy!" I told her that the other driver wasn't.

She was a citizen from the "Town" just to the north of us where most of those residents have this attitude of self entitlement (believe me I know because I used to work in the "Town", just ask Motor Cop).

She rudely points out after a patrol car arrived on scene, "Look how many god damned cops are here, one, two, three, three goddamn cops! I had my house alarm go off and only one "Town" cop showed up!"

I professionally replied, "Ma'am I'm sorry that the "Town Police Department" doesn't provide it's citizens with the high level of service which the "South City Police Department" provides its own citizens."

Her reply, "Fuck you! what do you know! How come I'm not getting any sympathy!!" I let my temper get the best of my mouth as I told her, "You want sympathy? Look it up in the dictionary between 'shit' and syphilis'".

Oh boy, the Linda Blair exorcist head twisting move began. I was expecting the green power puking to commence but instead she screamed "You cock sucker! What's your name!" I politely pointed (with my middle finger) to my name patch on my jacket. Then she demanded my badge number, which I quickly pointed (again with middle finger extended) to my cloth badge sewn onto my jacket.

Well my partner spun around when she screamed "You cock sucker!" My partner looked at me with that look of "what did you do now?" We've been working together for years so he knew I had said something smart ass.

Well after all parties left the scene (some happier than others) my partner told me with fingers in his ears, "La-la-la-la, I don't even want to know what you said, la -la-la-la." He eventually asked and I told him.

Had the bitch complained, I would have fessed up and admitted my smart ass remark. I would have been "papered" (meaning written up for conduct unbecoming or some other violation of policy), but sometimes you just have to put people in their place.

I hope her exorcism is successful.