Icelcars

I rode over to our local tow yard to inspect a vehicle involved in a crash I was investigating. I noticed numerous patrol cars from local agencies (including South City). I realized that the K9 officers were doing training.

I bumped into one of the K9 handlers, Semper Fi Mac. Now Mac and I had been beat partners many years ago on the graveyard shift. Our entire weekend graveyard shift were a bunch of clowns, always playing pranks on one another. Those were some really good, fun times.

I asked Mac if he had been staying out of trouble. The look on his face told me otherwise. He was telling me that weeks ago when we were experiencing some very very cold nights, actually freezing nights he was bored. Well Mac's idle mind had the great idea of watering down a couple of patrol cars.

He was at the station finishing up reports from the weekend and every fifteen minutes he'd walk out into the parking lot and hose down the two patrol cars. He was laughing as he was telling me this story that the ice had built up so much on the two patrol cars that the small gap where the roof and car door meet was totally filled in.

He told me you could run your hand over where the gap was and you wouldn't be able to feel anything discerning where the roof and car door met.

Yeah, he was sure proud of himself. I got to laughing so hard as he was telling me this story that I thought I might have broken a rib. He was very descriptive about the small icicles hanging from the patrol car's emergency light bar, spotlights and wheel wells.

Since water doesn't instantly freeze, the water on the ground eventually froze. When the dayshift officers arrived to begin their day, they noticed the ice on the parking lot.

Well the city public works people had to come out and put salt on the frozen part of the parking lot. It took one of the officer's 30 minutes to eventually get the door open which didn't include the time spent trying to get a key into a frozen car door lock.

Mac paid though, during the time it took the officers to get into their patrol cars and de-ice them, Mac was held over from his graveyard shift for any possible calls for service until all was well with the icelcars.

We're not heartless

I was parked at one of my favorite duck ponds at an intersection along one of our busy boulevards. I usually work it in the afternoon because the drivers are heading toward the sun.

This helps light up the interior of the car which helps me see if a seat belt or cell phone violation is being committed, it also helps because the drivers have the sun right in their eyes..... I'm just using mother nature to my advantage.

I see this SUV go by, female driver talking away. I pull out from behind my duck blind and quickly catch up to the SUV and pull it over. I noticed the registration looked to be expired by the month and year tabs on the rear license plate. I walk up to the driver door and she's now off the cell phone. She tells me her window is broken and won't roll down.

I have her open her door and she tells me she knows she shouldn't have been talking on her cell phone. So I ask for the usual driver's license, registration and insurance. The driver quickly hands me her driver license and as probably 95% of the drivers I stop, now have to search through their glove box or center console which is just packed with papers and various items which spill out onto the floor board while they look for their insurance and registration.

While the driver was leaned over looking through the glove box I noticed a stack of bills with "PAST DUE" and "LAST NOTICE". I also see a telephone bill which is a "lifeline" account. The lifeline account is for people who meet a certain income requirement and get a reduce rate for their telephone service.

She finally finds the other paperwork and begins to say "I know you've probably heard every excuse in the world, but", and that's when I interrupted her and said "But you know your supposed to be using a hands free device." I told her what the actual cell phone violation costs after all of the fees and enhancements are added on.

So I figured that there are plenty of other ducks driving around committing some traffic violation I can pull them over for and greet. I used my discretion and let her go with a warning.

Don't think we're heartless. I understand you don't like getting tickets and if I can cut you a break on something like a recently expired insurance card or not having your current registration paper with your car, I will.

So remember the old saying about "If you get stopped by a motor cop you're for sure gonna get a ticket" isn't always true.

By the way, I've got my appointment to see the Wizard of Oz where I will finally get a heart.

A weighty decision

I was in traffic court the other day. Something usually good and humorous happens. Today was no exception. I see an old police academy buddy of mine who I haven't seen in a few years. He's there for a "client" who decided to fight the ticket for a stop sign.

His traffic case is called. I listen to his testimony and then listen to his defendant cross examine (questioning) him. She has some good questions about the incident which require my buddy to go a little more into detail about the traffic offense.

She ends her questions for my compadre and tells the Judge, "Your Honor, I'm 5' 4" tall and I weigh 110 lbs. The officer wrote down that I weigh 185 pounds. I am not 185 lbs!" The Defendant appeared to be more miffed by the faux paux my buddy made by making her physical description synonymous with "short and round". By the looks of her, she looked to be about 110 lbs.

The Judge asked her what her driver license said. The defendant removed it from her wallet and said "110 lbs Your Honor." The Officer replied, "It could be a new license which had been re-issued." The Judge motioned for the Defendant to hand over her driver license to the Officer. The Judge asked him, "What does her weight say and the license date of issue?" My old academy buddy answered, "110 lbs. and an issue date of 'umpty squat 2008.'"

My buddy handed the Defendant her driver license back. The Judge's ruling....... "I find you not guilty in this matter, count one is dismissed, thank you."

This will probably be the only time in the Defendant's life where being mistakenly described as a blond oompa loompa worked in her favor.

Will they ever figure it out?

Us motor types have the fun of writing as many tickets as we please as well as responding to all traffic collision in South City. We also respond as cover officers for calls which would be better to have two officers instead of one. When we're not in a ticket writing frenzy we'll take the 911 hang ups, alarm calls, occupied stalled cars, traffic hazards, and sometimes even parking complaints. When we're not doing any of the above, once in a while some unfortunate resident will have his/her house on fire requiring the fire department to respond.

Us motors will respond to those too because there will be a need for traffic control due to the many sheeple who drive. This was no exception. Myself and Jolly set up at both ends of the street to keep the curious idiots disguised as motorists at bay.

Five engines responded as well as one paramedic unit and a butt load of "white shirts" from the fire department. There was billowing dark gray smoke blanketing the neighborhood block. Fire hoses criss crossed the roadway all leading up to the house on fire.

We keep local residents and the curious away and to keep them from driving over the fire hoses. It never fails to amaze me that even the locals become a little pissy and absolutely have to get to their homes on the block which is closed off. They're not happy with being turned around, too bad, tough shit.

Now most of the motorists were very obliging as they understood and turned their cars around. Although they were obliging, it didn't prevent the stupid questions from being asked...... "What happened Officer?" "Did something happen?" "What's all the smoke from?"

Lets see, hmmmm...... Five BRTs (big red trucks), emergency lights on and flashing, one ambulance, lots of fire hoses running from hydrants to the house on fire, tons of smoke in a neighborhood, and two motor cops turning people around...... what gives?

I couldn't resist with all of the stupid questions being asked and had to at least answer the most rude idiot who felt he was being very inconvenienced by all of the hullabaloo, "It's a BBQ for the International Association of Fire Fighters."

Stupidity is alive and well

I was out one morning minding my own business trying to make a few friends by meeting and greeting when I hear the call sign of one of our Detectives, Callaghan, making a traffic stop. You occasionally hear them make a traffic stop but not very often.

While I'm parked patiently waiting for some unsuspecting motorist to catch my attention I hear the Detective ask for a cover unit. I figured I wasn't too far away so I answered up to take the cover.

I arrived in a couple of minutes and noticed the driver was seated in the back of Callaghan's unmarked car.

Callaghan tells me he was driving down the interstate from court when he sees this hooptie Honda ahead of him going about 80 to 85 mph. So He pulls along side and looks over at the driver just to get him to slow down. The driver looks over at Callaghan and gives him a hard look.

Callaghan didn't think too much of the hard look and pulled ahead of the Honda. The driver of the Honda obviously didn't like the fact that Callaghan had pulled in front of him, so Einstein decides to see how close he can get to the rear of his car.

Now Callaghan notices that this Honda is driving up his rear so he turned on his rear facing emergency lights. Einstein slowed down and gave some space between his hooptie and Callaghan's car.

Callaghan was thinking that he'd just head on in to his office, but he decided to pull the car over anyways. Einstein had his license, registration and insurance with him and it turned out the the fool had a no bail burglary warrant out of Monterey County.

Nothing like getting the "Po-Po's" attention. Idiot's out of county warrant allows the issuing police agency 5 work days to come and pick him up.

So much for making it to work on time.

You've got to be kidding me right now

We have a radar trailer which is deployed daily somewhere in South City, usually in some neighborhood where there have been numerous complaints of speeding vehicles. The trailer is usually deployed by a Community Service Officer (CSO). It just so happened that the CSO was off and the radar trailer deployment gets left to yours truly.

I stop the SUV I'm towing this trailer with at the reported "hot spot" of felonious speeders. As I'm unhitching the radar trailer I heard a voice behind me, "Are you going to leave that 'thing' parked here in front of this house?" I turn around, not knowing whether this is the home owner or a passerby.

And here's how the dialog continued;

2WT; "Yeah."

Anonymous Citizen (AC); "Right here in the street in front of his house? What if the home owner wants to park in front of their house?" (In a condescending tone of voice)

2WT; "That's right, the last time I checked this was a public street and it looks to me that this house has a driveway and three car garage for the homeowner. But when I get back to the office I'll check and see if the residents of this area have privatized this roadway with them bearing the responsibility of maintaining it."

AC; "Isn't it against the law to park next to a fire hydrant?"

2WT; "Typically yes, if its parked less than 15' from the hydrant. The trailer is 15' 1" away so we're good." and for good measure I threw in a little white lie, "The section applies to motor vehicles and this isn't."

Now it is beyond me that this idiot was complaining about where a radar trailer is parked, especially when it's at that location purposely to slow down drivers in the area and to remind them that the posted speed limit is 25 mph not 40 mph.

The only thing this scene was missing was gas lamps for street lights, snow, the old geezer wearing a tall black top hat, scarf. long coat and saying "Bah Humbug."

See ya Ebeneezer !

Garbage In, Garbage Out

The "person of interest" turned suspect, Maurice Clemmons who has according to the numerous press releases had an "extensive violent history from Arkansas". Sentenced to 108 years for aggravated robbery at the age of 17. Then Governor Mike Huckabee commuted Clemmons' sentence. Of course because he was so young at sentencing was Huckabee's reason to commute the 108 year sentence.

We all know that the 19 years Clemmons spent in prison made him a model citizen, rehabilitated and ready to become a productive member of society..... BULL SHIT!!!!

You don't spend 19 years in prison and become "cured". You're still the same P.O.S. (piece of shit). Look at prison for these low life's as college. They end up getting their BA, then their Masters and finally their Doctorate in crime, all on the dime of tax payers.

We as a society have become too soft. When did an "eye for an eye" become politically incorrect? California carries out it's death sentence with a "cocktail" which basically puts the P.O.S. to sleep. How painful can that be? No pain at all.

They say the death sentence is not a deterrent to crime. I say if you'd get rid of the liberals and start executing death row inmates quickly instead of them carrying on their appeals for 20 plus years, get rid of the sleepy time cocktail with either hanging or the good old electric chair, you might see violent crimes go down.

But we'll never experience that, because our touchy feely society is too soft.

Clemmons had been recently arrested and charged in Pierce County Washington for third-degree assault on a Peace Officer and second-degree rape of a child.

Mike Huckabee has stated, "Should he be found to be responsible for this horrible tragedy, it will be the result of a series of failures in the criminal justice system in both Arkansas and Washington State."

Did the justice system fail?

It looks like it worked just fine. A 108 year sentence for aggravated robbery sounds fair. Hey but lets throw politics into the mix. It just goes to show what a politician will do to get a vote. Politics let this guy out of prison. It appears that Mike Huckabee is playing "place the blame game".

He says that it was the prosecutor who screwed up and didn't file some paperwork in a timely manner. The Pulaski County Arkansas Prosecutor, Larry Jegley says it best, "My word to Huckabee is man up and own what you did."

Of course Maurice Clemmons would not have made it so far in eluding the state wide manhunt without the help of friends and family. Those friends and family members are soon to be arrested according to authorities and rightfully so. They are just as guilty of murdering those Police Officers as if they had been at the Forza Coffee Company themselves and pulled the trigger.

The Police Officer who confronted Clemmons has done a tremendous service to the citizens. Clemmons didn't obey the Officer's commands which led to the Officer having to use deadly force. Clemmons succumbed to his wounds.

Clemmons' death doesn't ease the pain and sorrow for the Lakewood Police Department and the families of the slain officers, but I'm sure they feel a sense of justice has been served.

An eye for an eye.

The Officer who fought Clemmons at the coffee shop and wounded him before dying just goes to show, NEVER GIVE UP THE FIGHT!