Saturday, January 2, 2010

A weighty decision

I was in traffic court the other day. Something usually good and humorous happens. Today was no exception. I see an old police academy buddy of mine who I haven't seen in a few years. He's there for a "client" who decided to fight the ticket for a stop sign.

His traffic case is called. I listen to his testimony and then listen to his defendant cross examine (questioning) him. She has some good questions about the incident which require my buddy to go a little more into detail about the traffic offense.

She ends her questions for my compadre and tells the Judge, "Your Honor, I'm 5' 4" tall and I weigh 110 lbs. The officer wrote down that I weigh 185 pounds. I am not 185 lbs!" The Defendant appeared to be more miffed by the faux paux my buddy made by making her physical description synonymous with "short and round". By the looks of her, she looked to be about 110 lbs.

The Judge asked her what her driver license said. The defendant removed it from her wallet and said "110 lbs Your Honor." The Officer replied, "It could be a new license which had been re-issued." The Judge motioned for the Defendant to hand over her driver license to the Officer. The Judge asked him, "What does her weight say and the license date of issue?" My old academy buddy answered, "110 lbs. and an issue date of 'umpty squat 2008.'"

My buddy handed the Defendant her driver license back. The Judge's ruling....... "I find you not guilty in this matter, count one is dismissed, thank you."

This will probably be the only time in the Defendant's life where being mistakenly described as a blond oompa loompa worked in her favor.

1 comment:

  1. Well, it sounds like the judge decided to teach your buddy a well-deserved lesson in writing down the facts of the case correctly.

    If an officer who routinely issues traffic tickets can't even write down the defendant's weight off of her license correctly, it sure as hell casts a lot of doubt on the officer's confidence that he saw the defendant run the stop sign (unless the defendant stupidly admits it herself).

    One time, I was cited by a motor cop for 50 in a 35 and elected to proceed with TBD. I was found guilty, but when I went to file a request for trial de novo and pick up a copy of the officer's declaration, I saw that he repeatedly misstated my gender on his declaration. Suffice to say, I was profoundly disappointed when the officer didn't show up for trial de novo :D