Today while I was parked at one of my local duck ponds and heard my razor cell phone ringing in my shirt pocket. So thinking that it's the "Boss" (synonymous for "wife") calling, I pull out my cell phone. The display on the front of the phone which would normally show who's calling just shows a Tye dye of colors after it survived a 40 mph drop while motoring along and trying to tuck it up into my helmet.
I flip it open and see it's a "1-800" number. The conversation went something like this...
Anonymous female caller; "Hi, I'm looking for 'Dick.'"
Wow! I've never had anyone straight out proposition me like that. The mind was quickly working..... what to say back to the AFC.
I thought of replying, "Cut or uncut." or how about, "With pith helmet, or would you like an ant eater?" or "if the sight of what looks like a baby's arm holding an apple doesn't gross you out."
I thought that maybe she was a past customer of mine and used one of the many terms of endearment I've been called over my career. I knew she was actually calling for a "Richard".
I thought I'd keep it clean and just laughed with my reply, "I think you've got the wrong number."