Saturday, February 14, 2009

And he's a Detective Sergeant!?

Since that fateful day, September 11th when America was attacked on it's own soil, Big Brother has taken steps to help make us more secure with such things like the Patriot Act, our cellular phone network providers handing over lists of customers information without a warrant.  My hats off to the one company that had the balls to stand up to Big Brother.

So how does the Department of Homeland Security come into play?

Working my usual duck pond, I stopped a car for speeding.  I had the usual conversation with the driver before I walk back to my motorcycle with his license, registration and proof of insurance to issue him a ticket.

During my warrant / driver license check the dispatcher advised me of the driver being on Big Brother's "list" and not to let the driver know that Big Brother is on to him.

Well our Detective Sergeant calls me on my department issued cell phone and tells me to take dudes picture and to document it in a report.  

WTF!!! Oh like dudes not going to have any clue that taking his picture on a car stop is something out of the very ordinary.  I may as well just tell him what's going on.

So I asked additional questions like where he came from and where he was going to.  The address on his driver license was an old one and he provided me his current one verbally. Needless to say he was given a ticket for the speed, and for not updating his address and he is sent happily on his way, none the wiser because I didn't take the damn picture.

After clearing my stop over the radio, the dispatcher told me that Officer "So and So" was requesting a telephone call from me.  Well Officer "So and So" was assigned from our agency as with other Officers from various agencies to work with the Department of Homeland Security. 

I dialed the number and heard a voice answer "Hello"  I thought, "Shit, I must have dialed the wrong number."  So not being sure I was connected to an arm of Big Brother, I vaguely said, "I was told to call this number concerning somebody I contacted."  The voice replied "Yeah, you have the right place."  Very interesting.... especially since most governmental agencies usually answer the phone with "Ghost Busters" or "The Schwartz"

I write my report and get my ass chewed by the Detective Sergeant because I didn't take this person of "interest's" picture.  "Go Fuck Yourself" is what I wanted to say, but he was the type of kid that got beat up for his lunch money all of the time.  

So I listened to Detective Sergeant "Butt Sore" as he ranted and raved about insubordination and how I didn't follow his order.  Every time I tried to tell him that it was supposed to be Big Brother Super Secret Squirrel stuff, he'd interrupt and get back on his soap box.

As he stood there on his soap box, Detective Sergeant Butt Sore became more sore because I was sitting in the chair very aloofly and I just might have rolled my eyes once or twice.  Our administrative Sergeant who was an OG ie: "original gangsta, old salt, veteran" was walking by the door during my ass chewing.

Well Sergeant OG stopped, flashed his "I'm fucking pissed" smile at Sergeant Butt Sore and kindly said through clenched teeth, "Please follow me."  They went into the copy room next to our report writing room.  

Sergeant OG served in Vietnam in the Special Forces, he could deliver an ass chewing like no other I've ever received or heard.  He was true to form as he handed Sergeant Butt Sore his ass on a silver platter.

After Sergeant Butt Sore had less ass to sit on when he left the room, Sergeant OG walked in to where I was seated, told me good job and decision making by not following as he called him, "Pee Wee Herman's" order to take dudes photograph.

It made common sense to me not to take the picture.  I'm sure Sergeant Butt Sore will attain a very high rank in the Sheriff's Office due to his great decision making and people skills.

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