So one day I'm parked at one of my favorite duck ponds, minding my own business (watching for speeders) on a roadway. So while I'm parked at this location, totally in the open, I see this car approaching.
I see that it is leading a whole pack of cars and it's increasing it's lead like a NASCAR driven driver. The posted speed limit for this road is posted at 40 or at least that's what those white signs say with those black numbers on it.
I think I have it figured out now, you take the number on that sign and add lets say 15 to 20 mph and we're off with a green flag!
So as this approaching car is coming toward me expecting a checkered flag and kissing the knock out gorgeous trophy woman (or dude in this case because it was a "she" who was driving). I lock in her speed at 62 mph with my handy dandy laser radar (what a cool toy, believe you me!)
So this car gets the checkered flag along with a police motorcycle escort with flashing lights not quite to the winners circle, but to the side of the roadway (the name of the game is improvisation).
I contact the female driver of this nice black BMW sedan. I tell her that I stopped her for her speed and could I have her driver license, vehicle registration and an insurance card. When I asked her if she knew what the posted speed limit is and how fast she was driving she was clueless but tells me in a bitter and scorn tone of voice that she wasn't speeding.
I tell her what the posted speed limit is as well as how fast she was traveling. She tells me her BMW doesn't accelerate that fast.......come on! I was born at night but not last night!! She handed me her driver license and told me she didn't know where her registration or insurance card was. She made no effort to even look for it!
So I saunter back to my motorcycle to scratch out a rag to give her a personal invitation to our local Superior Court.
CLUE! Attitude is everything people. You want to get into a pissing contest with a motor officer and you're gonna lose because we have the power of the pen and if we feel like it we can really "paper fuck" you.
Due to the Princesses attitude, I raged her for her speed, I decided to include the registration and insurance violations too. To add a little more to it, I remembered she didn't have a front license plate as I looked through the sight of my laser radar and tagged that one on also.
While she signed the ticket, I explained to her the violations I had cited her for. She replies "What's the matter, couldn't you find more!!" I told her I had run out of lines to write violations on and did not have a continuation citation for any further violations that I guess she was begging me to look for.
I handed her copy of the ticket to her as she ripped it out of my hand. She looked at me with a scowl and said "You need to get rid of that mustache, it's so 80's."
I laughed and told her I had never heard that one before. After she happily drove away, I thought to myself, she's right, but hey I lived the 80's and they were a lot of fun. So I'm still sporting the mustache and have no plans to get rid of it.