Saturday, January 3, 2009

What part of "hands free" don't you understand?

So there I sat at one of our "fishin' holes" (cop lingo for a great location for tickets) a few days before Christmas watching the traffic pass by. I see this Camry drive by with a female driver holding a cellular phone to her ear. I'm sure everyone knows that the hands free law went into effect on July 1st of last year so obviously drivers knowingly break this law. Not that it is a heinous crime to commit, but when you deal with as many HUA (cop lingo for "Head Up Ass)drivers as I have and do, I can understand why our elected representatives passed this law.

So I pull out of what many drivers perceive to be a "hiding spot" when in reality (at least mine) it's a safe place to park and so as not obstruct traffic, I catch up to the Camry which had stopped at a red light. I pulled along side and looked through her slightly open front passenger window and saw she was holding her cellular phone in front of her face just yapping away. She was so into her conversation that she never once looked over at me, and the sound of my Harley obviously interfered with her conversation as she rolled the window up.

So as not to feel slighted, I gave a quick honk on my motorcycle's siren and got her attention. She looked over at me and held her hands palms facing upward and was saying "What!, What!" I pointed out to her that the traffic light had turned to green. As she drove through the intersection I did what comes natural which is I pulled behind her car and turned on my emergency lights (so festive at this time of year!) and stopped her.

So after she pulled over, I walked up to her open driver window where she asked "Why did you pull me over?!" I always want to answer "I thought I was the one who's supposed to be asking the questions." So I told her for her cell phone which she was stupid enough to keep in her hands and tell the person on the other end of the line, "I'll have to call you back, I'm getting pulled over for my cell phone."

She, in a bitchy tone, "I thought using the speaker phone was legal."
Me, "If it were, we wouldn't be having this conversation right now."
She, "Are you gonna give me a ticket?"


Me, (Wishing "But of course!") "Yes I will be issuing a ticket for the cell phone violation."
She, "Happy Holidays to You Too!"
Me, "And to you."

Not surprisingly she couldn't find her current car insurance card so I cited her for that too.
After she signed the ticket she commented, "You could have given me a warning."
Me, "Yes, I could have. Happy Holidays."

HINT: If you don't have a blue tooth or any other hands free cell phone device, put it on speaker phone and clip it to your car visor, seatbelt, shirt, or the good old duct tape around your noggin trick and you are "hands free" and unmolested by some gung-ho motor cop.

FYI just in case you saw an officer driving a patrol car and talking on a cell phone and became "butt sore" about it, we police officers are exempt from the "hands free" law while on duty.

I of course am able to tuck my cell phone up between my ear and helmet and fully comply with the "hands free" law.


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